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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063876908" data-attributes="member: 14320">Two Little BoysTwo little boys are sitting in the living room watching TV with theirparents. The mother looks over at the father with a wink and a nodtoward upstairs. The father "gets" the message, and they both get up andheads toward the stairs.The mother turns back to the two boys and says, "We're going upstairs for aminute. You two stay here and watch TV we'll be right back, OK?"Two boys nod OK, and the parents take off upstairs. The older of the twoboys is old enough to know what's going on now, and he gets up andtiptoes upstairs. AT the top of the stairs, he peeks into his mom and dad'sbedroom and shakes his head.Back downstairs he goes to his little brother, "Come with me," he says,and the two little boys' tiptoe up the stairs.Halfway up, the older brother turns to the other and says, "Now I wantyou to keep in mind, this is the same woman who used to bust your ass forsucking your thumb.]]]]]Really Gross!!Little Jack HornerSat in the corner,Playing with Grandma's twat.He stuck in his pinky,Pulled it out stinky]]]]]A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant.This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she hasany questions.She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. Howmuch will childbirth hurt?"The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to womanand pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult todescribe pain.""I know, but can't you give me some idea?" she asks."Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little...""Like this?""A little more...""Like this?""Yes. Does that hurt?""A little bit.""Now stretch it over your head!"Smooth SkinA guy walks into a pub to meet his mates for a beer.They are amazed at how healthy he is looking. In particular he has fantastically good looking smooth skin on his face with a totally radiant glow."Jim you are looking fit and healthy. Started a new diet?""Nope," says Jim."So, you've joined a fitness club then?""Nope," says Jim."But your face looks so fresh and healthy. Let us in on the secret Jim. What are you doing?""I've got a new girl friend," says Jim."But how does that get you healthy looking smooth skin on your face?""Well" says Jim, "my new girl friend has got the hairiest pussy I've every seen. In fact she's like a wire brush down there!"*****A little lad asked his mom "is it bad to have a willy"? No, said his mother why?Cause daddy is upstairs trying to pull his offQ. How do you embarrass an archeologist?A. You give him a used tampon and ask what period it from.Q. Why do ballerinas wear leotards?A. So they don't stick to the floor when they do the splitsQ. Why do married men gain weight while bachelors don't?A. Bachelors go to the fridge see nothing they want and go to bed. Married men go to bed see nothing they want and go to the fridge.*****Two sperms are swimming along after being ejaculated, one turns to the other and says "I’m exhausted, how much further to the egg?" the other replies... “We’ve got a long way to go yet, we've just past the tonsilsWhy do gay men wear ribbed condoms?Extra traction in the mud!Q. Why do brides wear white?A. So the dishwasher matches the fridge and stove*****A guy goes to the doctor. He says to the doctor, "Doc, you got to help me, I've had this erection for weeks. It hurts so bad, I can't put up with it anymore. So, can you help me?" The doctor says, "I can help you." So he licks his two fingers and smacks the guy's dick. Then a bug flew off and his dick went back to normal. Then the guy said, "Doc, I feel great now! How much do I owe you?" The doctor says, "Find me that bug and you don't owe me nothing'."*****A woman was walking by in a bar when a man stopped in front of her and rubbed his nose with his hand.The woman, confused and irritated, asked, “What are you doing?!"The man replied with a smile, “Just clearing a place for you to sit."Little Old LadyA little old lady went into the Bank of Canada oneday, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that shemust speak with the president of the bank to open asavings account because, "It's a lot of money!" Aftermuch hemming and hawing, the bank staff finallyushered her into the president's office (the customeris always right!).The bank president then asked herhow much she would like to deposit.She replied, $165,000!" and dumped the cash out of herbag onto his desk.The president was of course curious as to how shecame by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'msurprised you're carrying so much cash around. Wheredid you get this money?" The old lady replied, "Imake bets."The president then asked,"Bets? What kind of bets?"The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you$25,000 that your balls are square.""Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet.You can never win that kind of bet!"The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to takemy bet?""Sure," said the president, "I'll bet $25,000 thatmy balls are not square!"The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since thereis a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyerwith me tomorrow at 10:00 am as a witness?""Sure!" replied the confident president.That night, the president got very nervous about thebet and spent a long time in front of a mirrorchecking his balls, turning from side to side, againand again. He thoroughly checked them out until hewas sure that there was absolutely no way his ballswere square, and that he would win the bet.The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the littleold lady appeared with her lawyer at the president'soffice.She introduced the lawyer to the president andrepeated the bet: "$25,000 says the president's ballsare square!"The president agreed with the bet again and the oldlady asked him to drop his pants so they could allsee.The president complied.The little old lady peered closely at his balls, andthen asked if she could feel them."Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lotof money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure."Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietlybanging his head against the wall.The president asked the old lady, "What the hell'sthe matter with your lawyer?"She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 thatat 10:00 am today, I'd have The Bank of Canada'spresident's balls in my hand."Confused Little JohnnyLittle Johnny came home from school one day confused. His mother wasJewish and his father was Black. So Johnny asks, Mommy am I moreJewish or more Black?What does it really matter? If you want to know for sure you'll justhave to ask your father, his mother tells him.So, when his father arrived home from work, Little Johnny asks thesame question, Daddy, am I more Jewish or more Black?What kind of question is that? Why do you want to know if you're moreJewish or more Black? asks dad.Well, it's like this dad ... Tommy down the street wants to sell hisbicycle for $50, and I don't know whether to talk him down to $25,or wait until it's dark and steal the thing.Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?They don't know the route.What does a blonde do when someone says its chili outside?She grabs a bowl.The Italian says, When I've a finisheda makina da love with mygirlfriend I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees, shefloats a 6 inches abov'a da bed in ecstasy.The Frenchman replies, Zat is nothing, when Ah 'ave finishedmaking ze lovewith ze girlfriend, Ah kiss all ze way down her bodyand zen Ah lick zer soles of her feet wiz mah tongue and she floats 12inches above ze bed in pure ecstasy.The Redneck says, That's nothing buddy. When I've finished doinit to myolady I get out of bed, walks over to the window and wipesmy dick on the curtains.She hits the freaking roof!!!</blockquote>

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RB20, RB25, RB26 Engine No. Register

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