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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063874333" data-attributes="member: 14320">Out Rhyme The BartenderA woman walked into a bar and she saw a sign above the bar that read=20'Out Rhyme the Bartender, Place Your Bets'.So the lady put $20 on the bar and the bartender said"Let's hear it.""Two and two is four, four and five is nine,I can tell you the length of yours,but you don't know the depth of mine."Stumped, the bartender matched the lady's bet, and shefinished her drink and left. She walked into another bar andshe saw the sign above the bar that read'Out Rhyme the Bartender, Place Your Bet's'. So the lady putthe $40 dollars on the bar and said,"Two and two is four, four and five is nine,I can tell you the length of yours,but you don't know the depth of mine"The bartender said "You've got me stumped" and the lady leftwith the $80 dollars. It was getting late, so she figured that shewould stop in one more bar before she went home.Again she saw the sign that read 'Out Rhyme the Bartender, Place YourBets'.The lady, pretty confident by this time, placed the $80 on the bar andrecited her rhyme"Two and two is four, four and five is nine,I can tell you the length of yoursbut you don't know the depth of mine."The bartender said "That's a good one", and the lady started to reachfor the money on the bar. The bartender stopped her by putting hishand over the money and looked into her eyes and said,"Two and two IS 4, four and five IS nine,but I can piss in yours, you can't piss in mine."-----Q. How can you tell a head nurse?A. She's the one with the dirty knees!Q. What do you call three lesbians in bed together?A. Ménage é twat.Q.What do you call hemorrhoids on a fag?A. Speed bumps.Q. What is the noisiest thing in the world?A. Two skeletons screwing on a tin roof.Q. What do you call an adolescent rabbit?A. A pubic hair.Q. Define "Egghead:"A. What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.Buckwheat And DarlaBuckwheat and Darla were in school, and the teacher asks Darla: "How doyou spell 'dumb'?"Darla says, "d-u-m-b, dumb."The teacher says, "Very good, now use it in a sentence."She says, "Buckwheat is dumb."The teacher says, "Now spell 'stupid.'"Darla says, "S-t-u-p-i-d, stupid."The teacher says, "Very good, now use it in a sentence."Darla says, "Buckwheat is stupid."When the teacher calls on Buckwheat and says, "Buckwheat, spelldictate."Buckwheat stands and says, "D-i-c-t-a-t-e, dictate."The teacher says, "Very good, now use it in a sentence."Buckwheat ponders for a few seconds, then spurts out, "I may be dumband I may be stupid, but Darla says my dictate good!"--------Fred's convertible glided to a halt on the edge of a lonely country road."I suppose," said his pretty but reluctant date, "you're going to pullthe old 'out of gas' routine.""No," said Fred, "I'm going to pull the 'here after' routine.""The 'here after' routine what's that?", she wanted to know."If you're not here after what I'm here after, you'll be here after I'm gone."-------What's the difference between a drug pusher and a hooker?The hooker can wash her crack and resell it.If size doesn't matter, how come my girlfriends vibrator isn't threeinches long and crooked?-------A young boy knows about sex and where babies come from because hismother told him that "the man puts his penis inside the woman and shegets pregnant." A few days later, after pondering this for some time,the boy asks in all the innocence and wonder of a child, "Does the manever get his penis back??"Think you know everything?1. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.2. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.3. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.4. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.5. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.6. There are more chickens than people in the world.7. Two thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.8. The longest one syllable word in the English language is "screeched."9. On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.10. All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.11. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.12. "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt."13. All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back on the $5 bill.14. Almonds are a member of the peach family.15. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.16. Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.17. There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.18. Los Angeles' full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula"19. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.20. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.21. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.22. In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.23. Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer24. The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "It's a Wonderful Life."25. A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.26. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.27. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.28. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.29. The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.30. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.31. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.32. Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.33. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.34. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.35. "Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand ..now you know everything.</blockquote>

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