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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063863624" data-attributes="member: 14320">A Farmer And His AttorneyA farmer asked a friend to recommend an attorney to defendhim against a charge of bestiality."I know a great trial lawyer," the fellow said, "but he's expensive anddoesn't know how to pick a jury. I know another lawyer," he continued,"who's not a great trial lawyer, but he's cheap and really knows how topick a jury."The farmer settled on the cheap attorney, but immediatelyhad second thoughts when the key witness, a neighbor, began histestimony."I saw Jed mount his goat from behind," he said, "and whenhe was finished, I saw the goat turn around and lick Jed's pecker."The accused farmer was devastated and had all but given uphope of acquittal when a juror in overalls whispered to the fellow nextto him, "You know, a good goat will do that~~~~~Little Jill comes home from playing at Johnny's house. "Hey Mom, guesswhat! Johnny's got a penis like a peanut!" Mom is understandablyconfused for a second, then asks, "What, you mean it's shaped like apeanut?" "No silly, it's salty!"~~~~~Two guys are drinking at a bar.The first says "Do you ever start thinking about something,and when you go to talk, you say something you don't mean?"The Second guy says "Yeah, I was at the airport buying plane tickets,and the chick behind the counter had these huge tits,and instead of asking her for 'two tickets to Pittsburgh'I asked for 'two tickets to Titsburgh'The First guy says, "Yeah, well I was having breakfast with my wife lastweek, and instead of saying 'Honey can you please pass me the sugar?',I said 'You've ruined my life you FUCKING BITCH'Denise's GrandmaDenise was a prostitute, but she didn't want her grandma to know. One day, the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a hotel, and Denise was among them. The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway when suddenly, Denise's grandma came by and saw her granddaughter.Grandma asked, "Why are you standing in line here, dear? "Not willing to let her grandmother know the truth, Denise told her grandmother that the policemen were passing out free oranges and she was just lining up for some."Why, that's awfully nice of them. I think I'll get some for myself," and she proceeded to the back of the line.A policeman was going down the line asking for information from all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, he was bewildered and exclaimed, "Wow, still going at it at your age?How do you do it?"Grandma replied, "Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take my dentures out, rip the skin back and suck them dry."The policeman fainted.http://us.mc375.mail.yahoo.com/mc/compose?to=redbabe@freeola.com&subject=PPCAN OLD GEEZERAn old geezer in an old people's home takes a fancy to a woman who isalso staying there. One day he plucks up the courage to go and talk toher and after a while he says he would like to make love to her. Sheagrees that when everybody else goes on a day trip they both stay behindat the home and get down to it.The old man goes to the woman's room and asks her how she likes to bemade love to. She tells him that she loves a man to go down on her andasks him if he would mind. He says he would love to do that for her andgoes for it.After about 30 seconds he comes back up and says that he is sorry but itjust smells too bad down there. She thinks for a minute and tells himthat it must be the arthritis. He looks and her confused and states thatsurely you can't get arthritis down there and even if you could itwouldn't cause that smell.She says "No it's the arthritis in my shoulder; I can't wipe my assproperly!"{}{}{}{}We lay upon the grassy bank,my hands were all a quiver,I slowly undid her suspender beltand her leg fell in the river.</blockquote>

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