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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063862883" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">In The Pub Toilet</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A guy is in the pub toilet having a piss when the door to the</p><p>bathroom opens. In walks a very large, very muscular guy. This</p><p>guy proceeds to pull down his pants, revealing a very large penis.</p><p></p><p>To the man's amazement, the muscular guy growls and slams his penis</p><p>into the sink attached to the wall. It shatters, spraying pieces and</p><p>water everywhere. Next, the muscular man growls louder, and slams his</p><p>penis into one of the stalls, making the entire thing collapse. Then</p><p>he slams his penis into the wall of the room, knocking a very large</p><p>hole into it.</p><p></p><p>The muscular man approaches the scared guy having a piss.</p><p></p><p>"Hey, mate, do you see this very large, very strong cock?" he asks.</p><p></p><p>"Yes," replies the guy taking a leak.</p><p></p><p>"Do you know what I am going to do with this very large, very strong cock?"</p><p>the muscular man asks.</p><p></p><p>"No, I'm afraid I don't," says the first man.</p><p></p><p>"I'm going to shove it up your arse!" exclaims the muscular guy.</p><p></p><p>"Jesus, that's a relief. I thought you were going to hit me with it!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">====================</span></strong></p><p></p><p>The tired doctor was awakened by a phone call in the middle of the night.</p><p>"Please, you have to come right over," pleaded the distraught young mother. "My child has swallowed a contraceptive."</p><p>The physician dressed quickly, but before he could get out the door, the phone rang again.</p><p>"You don't have to come over after all," the woman said with a sigh of relief.</p><p>"My husband just found another one."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">====================</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Q: Did you hear about the new deodorant called Umpire?</p><p>A: It's for foul balls.</p><p></p><p>Q: Did you hear about the fire in the rednecks library?</p><p>A: Both the books got burned, and one hadn't even been coloured in yet.</p><p></p><p>Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?</p><p>A: A mosquito quits sucking when you smack it.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Golden Gate Bridge</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Bob was driving home over the Golden Gate Bridge at about 90mph.</p><p>Wouldn't you know a cop jumped out and clocked him with radar.</p><p>Bob pulled over like a good citizen, recalling Rodney King and recent</p><p>illegal alien incidents.</p><p>The cop walked up to the window and said, "You know how fast you were</p><p>going BOY?!?"</p><p>Bob thought for a second and asked, "Uhhh, over 55?"</p><p>"93mph son! 93mph in a 55 zone!"</p><p>"But if you already knew," replied Bob, "Why did you ask me?"</p><p>Ignoring Bob, the officer continued, in his normal charming fashion,</p><p>"That's speeding and your getting a ticket and a fine!" The cop took a</p><p>good look at the Bob and said, "You don't even look like you have a job!</p><p>Why,... I've never seen anyone so scruffy in my entire life!"</p><p>Bob recanted, "I've got a job! I have a good, well paying job!"</p><p>The cop leaned in the window, and with the smell of day old donuts on</p><p>his breath, said, "What kind of a job would a bum like you have?!?"</p><p>"I'm a Pussy stretcher!!!" replied Bob.</p><p>"What you say, BOY?!?" asked the patrolman.</p><p>"I'm a Pussy stretcher!!!"</p><p>Of course the cop asked, "What does a Pussy stretcher do?"</p><p>Bob explained, "Girls call me up and say they want to be stretched, so I</p><p>go over there and start with a couple of fingers, then a couple more,</p><p>and then one whole hand, then two. Then I pull them farther and farther</p><p>apart until it's six feet across."</p><p>The cop, absorbed with the images in his mind, let down his guard and</p><p>asked, "What the hell do you do with a six foot Pussy?"</p><p>Bob nonchalantly commented, "You give it a radar detector and stick it</p><p>at the end of a bridge.</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">___________</span></strong></p><p></p><p>At a party a guy cornered a girl and whispered something</p><p>in her ear.</p><p></p><p>"You filthy pervert!" she shrieked. "What makes you think</p><p>I'd let you do a thing like that to me?" Then her eyes narrowed and</p><p>she said, "Unless you're the son-of-a-bitch that stole my diary....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063862883, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]In The Pub Toilet[/COLOR][/B] A guy is in the pub toilet having a piss when the door to the bathroom opens. In walks a very large, very muscular guy. This guy proceeds to pull down his pants, revealing a very large penis. To the man's amazement, the muscular guy growls and slams his penis into the sink attached to the wall. It shatters, spraying pieces and water everywhere. Next, the muscular man growls louder, and slams his penis into one of the stalls, making the entire thing collapse. Then he slams his penis into the wall of the room, knocking a very large hole into it. The muscular man approaches the scared guy having a piss. "Hey, mate, do you see this very large, very strong cock?" he asks. "Yes," replies the guy taking a leak. "Do you know what I am going to do with this very large, very strong cock?" the muscular man asks. "No, I'm afraid I don't," says the first man. "I'm going to shove it up your arse!" exclaims the muscular guy. "Jesus, that's a relief. I thought you were going to hit me with it!" [B][COLOR="Red"]====================[/COLOR][/B] The tired doctor was awakened by a phone call in the middle of the night. "Please, you have to come right over," pleaded the distraught young mother. "My child has swallowed a contraceptive." The physician dressed quickly, but before he could get out the door, the phone rang again. "You don't have to come over after all," the woman said with a sigh of relief. "My husband just found another one." [B][COLOR="Red"]====================[/COLOR][/B] Q: Did you hear about the new deodorant called Umpire? A: It's for foul balls. Q: Did you hear about the fire in the rednecks library? A: Both the books got burned, and one hadn't even been coloured in yet. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: A mosquito quits sucking when you smack it. [B][COLOR="Teal"]Golden Gate Bridge[/COLOR][/B] Bob was driving home over the Golden Gate Bridge at about 90mph. Wouldn't you know a cop jumped out and clocked him with radar. Bob pulled over like a good citizen, recalling Rodney King and recent illegal alien incidents. The cop walked up to the window and said, "You know how fast you were going BOY?!?" Bob thought for a second and asked, "Uhhh, over 55?" "93mph son! 93mph in a 55 zone!" "But if you already knew," replied Bob, "Why did you ask me?" Ignoring Bob, the officer continued, in his normal charming fashion, "That's speeding and your getting a ticket and a fine!" The cop took a good look at the Bob and said, "You don't even look like you have a job! Why,... I've never seen anyone so scruffy in my entire life!" Bob recanted, "I've got a job! I have a good, well paying job!" The cop leaned in the window, and with the smell of day old donuts on his breath, said, "What kind of a job would a bum like you have?!?" "I'm a Pussy stretcher!!!" replied Bob. "What you say, BOY?!?" asked the patrolman. "I'm a Pussy stretcher!!!" Of course the cop asked, "What does a Pussy stretcher do?" Bob explained, "Girls call me up and say they want to be stretched, so I go over there and start with a couple of fingers, then a couple more, and then one whole hand, then two. Then I pull them farther and farther apart until it's six feet across." The cop, absorbed with the images in his mind, let down his guard and asked, "What the hell do you do with a six foot Pussy?" Bob nonchalantly commented, "You give it a radar detector and stick it at the end of a bridge. [B][COLOR="Red"]___________[/COLOR][/B] At a party a guy cornered a girl and whispered something in her ear. "You filthy pervert!" she shrieked. "What makes you think I'd let you do a thing like that to me?" Then her eyes narrowed and she said, "Unless you're the son-of-a-bitch that stole my diary.... [/QUOTE]
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