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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063838003" data-attributes="member: 14320">Little JohnnyLittle Johnny hears the word whorehouse in school and askshis father what it means. His father is quite shocked, andreplies, "Well, uh, you go there to, uh, have a good time."Johnny starts screaming and hollering that he wants to gothere, too, but his father insists that he's too young.Saturday night rolls around. Johnny's dad and a few of hisfriends head out to Mable's ("Liquor In The Front, Poker InThe Rear! -- Our Customers Come First!) for a "good time."Naturally, Little Johnny tags along secretly.After his dad and his dad's friends have been safely inside forsome time, Little Johnny knocks on the door. The madameopens the door. "Yes?" she asks."I'm here to have a good time!"The madame is a little puzzled, but, being a kind-heartedsoul, invites Little Johnny inside. She gives him three donutsand then bids him goodbye.When he gets home, his dad is frantic. (Dad obviously hadcome and gone at Mabel's.) "Where have you been?""I went to a WHOREHOUSE!" Johnny proudly boasted!Johnny's dad blanched. "Uhh, you did? Umm, how was it?""Well, I managed the first two without any problem, but I justlicked the third one!"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Husband comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around hisneck: "Darling, I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we'regoing to have a baby! Until the doctor confirms the test result wecan't tell anybody."The next day, a guy from the electric company rings the door-bell,because the couple hasn't paid their last bill:"Are you Mrs. Smith? You're a month overdue, you know!""How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman."Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the man."What are you saying? It's in your files?????""Absolutely.""Well, let me talk to my husband about this tonight."That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as abull, rushes to the electric company's office the first thing the nextmorning."What's going on here? You have it on file that my wife is a monthoverdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts."Just calm down," says the clerk, "it's nothing serious. All you have todo is pay us.""PAY you? and if I refuse?""Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off.""And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks."I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle!"Splitting HeadacheI cuddled up to my wife and softly whispered into her ear: "Could we make love, please dear?"She rolled over away from him. "Not tonight, darling, I've got a splitting headache," she replied rather tersely.Too horny to read the obvious signals the husband pleaded. "Please, honey. I'll only stick it in for a minute""What do you think I am," his wife retorted, "a fucking microwave?"------------Dave was staring sadly into his pint and sighed heavily."What's up Dave" asked the Landlord..."It's not like you to be so down in the mouth""It's my four year old son..." the man replied."Don't tell me, he's in trouble for fightingin school? - my lad's just the same - forgetabout it, it happens to boys that age" saidthe landlord, sympathetically. " I only wishit was that" continued the customer, " but it'sfar worse than that. The little bastard has gotour gorgeous 18 year old next door neighbor pregnant.""Get away, that's impossible!" gasped the landlord"It's not" said the man..."the little shit stuck a pin in all my condoms"------------Q. What does do women and milk cartons have in common?A. You gotta open the flaps to get to the good stuff.Q. What happens when you kiss a canary?A. You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.Q. What does the receptionist at the sperm clinic say to clients as they are leaving?A. Thanks for coming.Q. Why do bunnies have soft sex?A. They have cotton ballsQ. How can you tell if you are in a gay amusement park?A. They issue gerbils at the tunnel of love.</blockquote>

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