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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063830323" data-attributes="member: 14320">Another Night Before ChristmasTwas the night before Christmas and all through the house.Not a creature was stirring, except for my mouse.No kids lived with me, so I thought I would chatter.There'd be no damn reindeer, and so stupid clatter.There'd be no fat elf, coming through my chimney.I'll be alone, my computer and me.I won't race to the window, to see him arrive.I'll just sit right here...with windows ninety-five.There's no one I know, as I'm surfing around.None of my regular buddies are found.I went in some chat rooms, but quickly got out.Age, sex, location is all that's about.As, I was about to go check out the net.I got an E-mail which I didn't expect.A lady told me, she had read my profile.And, ask, if I might like to chat for a while.She said, if I didn't, then she would just leave.But, she was so lonely, on this Christmas Eve.She said, it's the first time, she'd ever been on.But, she heard, computers, could be so much fun.She said, the computer, was usually locked tight.But, she said, her husband, left it on... tonight.He's away on some business; He'll be gone all night.So, she thought she'd use it, " I guess it's all right."She started to tell me, about her whole life.How she was expected to be a good wife.She talked of her anger, frustrations, and needs.Because she was forced, to do such silly deeds.She talked on and on, from one thing to the next.Then finally told me.....she was oversexed.She didn't have sex, with her husband, she told.He was always too busy, and getting too old.Then, she wrote me something, that made my heart vex.She asked me to teach her , to have cyber-sex.I said, if she wanted me to, that I could.Then after an hour, she got really good.After five hours, my fingers were sore.I told her, that I couldn't go anymore.She said, that was fine, because she was tired too.And anyway, her husband, soon would be due.She said she would be on, the same time next year.Then asked, if I wouldn't mind, meeting her here.She said only...on this night, she could be foundIt is only...this night, her husband leaves town.She said bye, and signed off...and i had to pause.I think I just cybered with Mrs. Santa Claus!Ask Aunt NastyDear Aunt Nasty,My boyfriend has been after me to try anal sex with him, but Ikeep telling him no. I have tried it before. It hurt and Ididn't like it at all, but I can't tell him that because hethinks he is the only one I have ever been with. It isstarting to become an issue, and while I don't want to losehim, I do not wish to have to suffer through anal sex.sincerely,No Butt~Dear No ButtMy dear, you simply haven't had anal sex performed correctlyif you didn't like it. My goodness no! I thought the sameway for many years, and then one day, my lover surprised meat the PERFECT time, and I have been hooked ever since. Yousimply haven't experienced an *orgasm* until you'veexperienced an anal orgasm. And try double penetration forthe absolute *ultimate* in orgasms.Aunt Nasty========== ========= ========= =========What women want in a relationship: A handsome, lovingprofessional man who will just love them for who they are.What women get: A fat, balding fart machine who stays withthem only because no other woman wants him.~~~What men want in a woman: A combination of Carol Brady andPamela Lee Anderson; Wonderful Mom with big hooters andcan suck the chrome off a flag pole.What men get: Someone who immediately begins to gain those80 extra lbs. the moment after she says "I Do", beginningwith the wedding cake!~~~What women want in bed: A passionate lover who takes thetime to kiss and gently caress, slowly building up to awonderful joyous experience together.What they get: "Wham-Bam-Thank- You Ma'am!", Belch, Fart,Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz~~~What men expect out of a marriage: 3 loving children whohonor their parents.What they get: 3 hellions who are a combination of theirparents every fault and make their life a living hell.</blockquote>

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