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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063819549" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Santa's Response To Little Johnny's After Christmas Letter</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Dear Johnny,</p><p></p><p>I know WHO you are,</p><p>and I KNOW where you live.</p><p>You little shit!</p><p>You can't talk to SANTA</p><p>like that and get away with it!</p><p></p><p>If you don't like the yo-yo, which is a classic toy,</p><p>by the way, then you can just</p><p>cram it up your little *$$! </p><p>As for the whistle you didn't care for --</p><p>I gotcha whistle right here!!!</p><p>Come blow on this! </p><p>And the socks...well, I figured</p><p>you are big enough to</p><p>be whacking off, and those sox</p><p>would have come in handy and been</p><p>handy to ... well, even you should get the picture!</p><p></p><p>And... that little "faggot" across the street,</p><p>you'll be happy to know that he's already</p><p>got pubic hair and his wang is</p><p>TWICE as long as yours. </p><p>Besides, his parents think YOU're the fag --</p><p>always moanin' and whinin'.</p><p></p><p>Don't worry about gathering up rocks</p><p>for my visit to your house next year,</p><p>'cause I ain't coming down</p><p>your chimney ever again. </p><p>If you find any pennies this year,</p><p>you had better stop and pick</p><p>them up, 'cause that's about all</p><p>you're going to get for Christmas.</p><p>Your mom and dad are going</p><p>to be killed in a car crash,</p><p>and you'll be stuck in an</p><p>orphanage before Thanksgiving.</p><p></p><p>Bad? You want BAD? I'll show you who's bad!</p><p></p><p>Affectionally, Adieu,</p><p>Santa</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Signs Santa Doesn't Like Your Kid..</span></strong></p><p></p><p></p><p>10. Kid's letter to north pole comes back stamped, Dream on,</p><p>Bucko!</p><p></p><p>9. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes.</p><p></p><p>8. Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping and</p><p>handling.</p><p></p><p>7. By the time he gets to your house, all he has left is foam packing.</p><p></p><p>6. Christmas day, your kid wakes up with a Reindeer head in his</p><p>bed.</p><p></p><p>5. Instead of Naughty or Nice, Santa has him on the dork list.</p><p></p><p>4. Sends him off on one of them Carnival Cruises with Kathie Lee.</p><p></p><p>3. First words when kid gets on his lap are, Touch my beard and I'll</p><p>put the hurt on you.</p><p></p><p>2. Labels on all your kid's toys read Straight from Craptown.</p><p></p><p>1. Four words: Off my lap, Tubby!</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Dear Santa - LITTLE JOHNNY</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Dear Santa,</p><p></p><p>You must be surprised that I'm writing to you today, the 26th of</p><p>December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things</p><p>that have occurred since the beginning of the month when, filled</p><p>with illusion, I wrote you my letter. I asked for a bicycle, an</p><p>electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football</p><p>uniform. I destroyed my brain studying the whole year. Not only</p><p>was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in the</p><p>whole school!</p><p></p><p>I'm not going to lie to you, there was no one in my entire</p><p>neighborhood that behaved better than me, with my parents, my</p><p>brothers, my friends, and with my neighbors. I would go on</p><p>errands, and even help the elderly cross the street. There was</p><p>virtually nothing within reach that I would not do for humanity.</p><p></p><p>What balls do you have leaving me a f**king yo-yo, a stupid</p><p>whistle and a pair of socks! What the f**k were you thinking,</p><p>you fat son of a bitch, that you've taken me for a sucker the</p><p>whole f**king year to come out with some shit like this under the</p><p>tree. As if you hadn't f**ked me enough,you gave that little</p><p>faggot across the street so many toys that he can't even walk into</p><p>his house.</p><p></p><p>Please don't let me see you trying to fit your big fat ass down my</p><p>chimney next year. I'll f**k you up! I'll throw rocks at those</p><p>stupid reindeer and scare them away so you'll have to WALK back</p><p>to the f**king North Pole, just like what I have to do now since</p><p>you didn't get me that f**king bike.</p><p></p><p>F**K YOU SANTA! Next year you'll find out how bad I can be, you</p><p>FAT SOB.</p><p></p><p>Sincerely,</p><p>Little Johnny</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063819549, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Santa's Response To Little Johnny's After Christmas Letter[/COLOR][/B] Dear Johnny, I know WHO you are, and I KNOW where you live. You little shit! You can't talk to SANTA like that and get away with it! If you don't like the yo-yo, which is a classic toy, by the way, then you can just cram it up your little *$$! As for the whistle you didn't care for -- I gotcha whistle right here!!! Come blow on this! And the socks...well, I figured you are big enough to be whacking off, and those sox would have come in handy and been handy to ... well, even you should get the picture! And... that little "faggot" across the street, you'll be happy to know that he's already got pubic hair and his wang is TWICE as long as yours. Besides, his parents think YOU're the fag -- always moanin' and whinin'. Don't worry about gathering up rocks for my visit to your house next year, 'cause I ain't coming down your chimney ever again. If you find any pennies this year, you had better stop and pick them up, 'cause that's about all you're going to get for Christmas. Your mom and dad are going to be killed in a car crash, and you'll be stuck in an orphanage before Thanksgiving. Bad? You want BAD? I'll show you who's bad! Affectionally, Adieu, Santa [B][COLOR="Teal"]Signs Santa Doesn't Like Your Kid..[/COLOR][/B] 10. Kid's letter to north pole comes back stamped, Dream on, Bucko! 9. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes. 8. Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping and handling. 7. By the time he gets to your house, all he has left is foam packing. 6. Christmas day, your kid wakes up with a Reindeer head in his bed. 5. Instead of Naughty or Nice, Santa has him on the dork list. 4. Sends him off on one of them Carnival Cruises with Kathie Lee. 3. First words when kid gets on his lap are, Touch my beard and I'll put the hurt on you. 2. Labels on all your kid's toys read Straight from Craptown. 1. Four words: Off my lap, Tubby! [B][COLOR="Teal"]Dear Santa - LITTLE JOHNNY[/COLOR][/B] Dear Santa, You must be surprised that I'm writing to you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the beginning of the month when, filled with illusion, I wrote you my letter. I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying the whole year. Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school! I'm not going to lie to you, there was no one in my entire neighborhood that behaved better than me, with my parents, my brothers, my friends, and with my neighbors. I would go on errands, and even help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing within reach that I would not do for humanity. What balls do you have leaving me a f**king yo-yo, a stupid whistle and a pair of socks! What the f**k were you thinking, you fat son of a bitch, that you've taken me for a sucker the whole f**king year to come out with some shit like this under the tree. As if you hadn't f**ked me enough,you gave that little faggot across the street so many toys that he can't even walk into his house. Please don't let me see you trying to fit your big fat ass down my chimney next year. I'll f**k you up! I'll throw rocks at those stupid reindeer and scare them away so you'll have to WALK back to the f**king North Pole, just like what I have to do now since you didn't get me that f**king bike. F**K YOU SANTA! Next year you'll find out how bad I can be, you FAT SOB. Sincerely, Little Johnny [/QUOTE]
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