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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063819549" data-attributes="member: 14320">Santa's Response To Little Johnny's After Christmas LetterDear Johnny,I know WHO you are,and I KNOW where you live.You little shit!You can't talk to SANTAlike that and get away with it!If you don't like the yo-yo, which is a classic toy,by the way, then you can justcram it up your little *$$! As for the whistle you didn't care for --I gotcha whistle right here!!!Come blow on this! And the socks...well, I figuredyou are big enough tobe whacking off, and those soxwould have come in handy and beenhandy to ... well, even you should get the picture!And... that little "faggot" across the street,you'll be happy to know that he's alreadygot pubic hair and his wang isTWICE as long as yours. Besides, his parents think YOU're the fag --always moanin' and whinin'.Don't worry about gathering up rocksfor my visit to your house next year,'cause I ain't coming downyour chimney ever again. If you find any pennies this year,you had better stop and pickthem up, 'cause that's about allyou're going to get for Christmas.Your mom and dad are goingto be killed in a car crash,and you'll be stuck in anorphanage before Thanksgiving.Bad? You want BAD? I'll show you who's bad!Affectionally, Adieu,SantaSigns Santa Doesn't Like Your Kid..10. Kid's letter to north pole comes back stamped, Dream on,Bucko!9. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes.8. Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping andhandling.7. By the time he gets to your house, all he has left is foam packing.6. Christmas day, your kid wakes up with a Reindeer head in hisbed.5. Instead of Naughty or Nice, Santa has him on the dork list.4. Sends him off on one of them Carnival Cruises with Kathie Lee.3. First words when kid gets on his lap are, Touch my beard and I'llput the hurt on you.2. Labels on all your kid's toys read Straight from Craptown.1. Four words: Off my lap, Tubby!Dear Santa - LITTLE JOHNNYDear Santa,You must be surprised that I'm writing to you today, the 26th ofDecember. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain thingsthat have occurred since the beginning of the month when, filledwith illusion, I wrote you my letter. I asked for a bicycle, anelectric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a footballuniform. I destroyed my brain studying the whole year. Not onlywas I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in thewhole school!I'm not going to lie to you, there was no one in my entireneighborhood that behaved better than me, with my parents, mybrothers, my friends, and with my neighbors. I would go onerrands, and even help the elderly cross the street. There wasvirtually nothing within reach that I would not do for humanity.What balls do you have leaving me a f**king yo-yo, a stupidwhistle and a pair of socks! What the f**k were you thinking,you fat son of a bitch, that you've taken me for a sucker thewhole f**king year to come out with some shit like this under thetree. As if you hadn't f**ked me enough,you gave that littlefaggot across the street so many toys that he can't even walk intohis house.Please don't let me see you trying to fit your big fat ass down mychimney next year. I'll f**k you up! I'll throw rocks at thosestupid reindeer and scare them away so you'll have to WALK backto the f**king North Pole, just like what I have to do now sinceyou didn't get me that f**king bike.F**K YOU SANTA! Next year you'll find out how bad I can be, youFAT SOB.Sincerely,Little Johnny</blockquote>

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