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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063804664" data-attributes="member: 14320">Failing EyesightA young women visited her eye doctor complaining of failingeyesight.The doctor sat her in front of a standard eye chart. Doctor: "Canyou read the bottom line?" Girl: "No." "Can you read the centerline?""No." "Can you read the large top line" "No."Can you even see thechart?" "No." The doctor is clearly frustrated and whips his penisout of his pants. "Can you see this?" "Of course!" "Well, there'syour problem - you're cock-eyed!"NNNNNA slutty girl is flirting with 2 guys in a chat room. The first guyasks, "What state are you from?" While at the same time the secondguy asks, "What do you do for a living?" To satisfy them both, Shereplies, "Idaho."NNNNNLarge cats can be dangerous, but a little pussy never hurt anyone.Q: What do a near-sighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?A: They both have a wet noses.Q: What do you call a tampon used by Nazis?A: A Twatstika.Q: Did you hear Cher is joining the spice girls?A: They're going to call her Old Spice.Q: Where can you find a good lawyer?A: In the cemetery.Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?A: A vampire only sucks blood at night.Q: Why do so many lawyers have broken noses?A: From chasing parked ambulances.Q: Why haven't any women astronauts even been sent to the Moon?A: Because the Moon doesn't need cleaning.NNNNN"My daughter lives in a penthouse apartment in Miami," reports Sadie to herfriend Sophie. "She goes out to dinner every night at a different restaurant,has beautiful furs and clothes, and lots of boyfriends.""Oh, my daughter's a whore too." Missed Her Period!A fourteen-year-old girl goes to see her mom and tells her thatshe has missed her period for two months.Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys apregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl ispregnant.Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig thatdid this to you? I want to know!!"The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour latera brand new Ferrari stops at their house, a mature anddistinguished man, with gray hair and impeccably dressed in avery expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house. He sitsin the living room with the father, the mother and the girl, andtells them:"Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem.However, I can't marry her because of my personal familysituation, but I'll take charge. If a girl is born I willbequeath her 3 stores, 2 townhouses, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account.If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple offactories, and a $1,000,000 bank account. If it is twins, afactory and $500,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage..."At this point, the father, who had remained silent all the time,places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him:"You'll fuck her again!!!"A man walks into his doctors. The doctor asks the man why he is there.He replies, "It's my penis, I would like you to take a look at it."The doctor says, "Very well then, if you get up onto the bed and get itout I'll have a look for you."The man jumps up onto the bed and produces a 12-incher from hisunderpants. After about five minutes examining it, the bemused doctorsays, "I have to say, I can't see anything wrong with it."To which the man replies, "I know, it's a fucking beauty, eh?!"Thorn is getting tested for AIDS... the nurse comes back with a sternlook...she sits down and takes Thorns hand... "Sir, I am really sorry, but youtested positive. You need treatment."Thorn gets up and yells "Damnit! That bitch! You can't trust anybody anymore. My own fucking daughter!"</blockquote>

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