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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063789741" data-attributes="member: 14320">Signs She Is Bored In Bed:20. After you request sex she replies, "Wait 'til the Nyquil kicks in."19. Gets very upset when the ashtray falls off your ass.18. Actually answers when you ask, "Who's your daddy?"17. Last time she screamed during sex was the first time she won atsolitaire.16. Only moans during commercial breaks.15. Starts her fake orgasm during foreplay.14. Keeps trying to set you up with her friends.13. Runs for vacant Senate seat in New York.12. You are currently sitting backstage at the Springer show.11. Beginning to think she is only "playing" dead.10. During the act, she actually yelled out, "Oh, Baby, Yadda,Yadda,Yadda."9. Has suddenly started making you pay in advance.8. Her moans of delight discovered to actually be a .wav file.7. Instead of asking to leave her shirt on, she wants to leave her pantson too.6. Keeps asking "Are you SURE you're not gay?"5. Boredom? So that's why she keeps deflating!!4. Holds up a picture of the Playboy centerfold to hurry you along.3. Asks to be on top so she can balance her checkbook better.2. She yells out her own name.1. Bangs her head on the headboard BEFORE you begin.A girl from the South and a girl from the North were seated side by sideon a plane.The girl from the South, being friendly and all, said, "So, where ya'llfrom?"The Northern girl said, "From a place where they know better than to usea preposition at the end of a sentence."The girl from the South sat quietly for a few moments and then replied,"So, where ya'll from, bitch?"Wash RoomA man traveling by plane and in urgent need to use the men's room is nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft. Each time he tried the men's room door, it was "OCCUPIED". The stewardess, aware of his predicament suggested that he go ahead and use the ladies room, but cautioned him against using any of the buttons inside. The buttons were marked "WW, WA, PP and ATR".Making the mistake that so many men make in disregarding the importance of what a woman says, the man let his curiosity get the best of him and decided to try the buttons anyway.He carefully pressed the first button marked "WW" and immediately warm water sprayed all over his entire bottom. He thought, "WOW, the women really have it made!". Still curious, he pressed the button marked "WA" and a gentle breeze of warm air quickly dried his hind quarters. He thought that was out of this world! The button marked "PP" yielded a large powder puff which delicately applied a soft talc to his rear. Well, naturally he couldn't resist the last button marked "ATR".When he woke up in the hospital he panicked and buzzed for the nurse. When she appeared, he cried out, "What happened to me?! The last thing I remember is I was in the ladies room on a business trip!" The nurse replied, "Yes, you were having a great time until you pressed the "ATR" button which stands for Automatic Tampon Remover... Your penis is under your pillow!"...An Avon lady was alone in an elevator when suddenly she had to fart. Shepromptly reached into her bag and sprayed the air with an Avon pinescenteddeodorizer. Two floors later, a gentleman got on the elevator.He begantosniff, and the Avon lady asked, "Do you smell something?""Well, yes I do," he replied."What does it smell like," she asked?The bemused man answered, "I'm not sure, but it kind of smells likesomeone shit under a Christmas tree."...Q. Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple?A:. Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.Q: What do a bleached blonde and a 747 have in common?A: They both have little Black Boxes.Q: Why don't blondes water ski?A: Because they lie down as soon as their crotches get wet.Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?A: If you slap a mosquito, it'll stop sucking.</blockquote>

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