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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063784675" data-attributes="member: 14320"> Black EyesJack was returning to work Monday morning with two black eyes. His workmates were understandably curious: "Jack, what happened to you?!?" "It was the darndest thing! I was at church yesterday, and this fat lady stood up in front of me. You know how a dress can get stuck in the crack of the butt of a fat lady? It looked funny. I figured she wouldn't like that, so I just reached over and pulled it out with a little tug. Next thing I know, she spins around and socks me one!""Jeez, you got TWO black eyes in one blow?""Naw. After she turned back around, I figured she was angry that I pulled the dress out of her crack, so I tried to poke it back in..."A five-year-old boy was mowing his front lawn and drinking a beer. The preacher who lived across the street saw the beer and came over to harass the kid. "Aren't you a little young to be drinking, son?" he asked. "That's nothing," the kid said after taking a swig of beer. "I got laid when I was three." "What? How did that happen?" "I don't remember. ITwo women were having lunch together, and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery. The first woman says, "I need to be honest with you, I'm getting a boob job." The second woman says "Oh that's nothing, I'm thinking of having my asshole bleached!" To which the first replies, "Whoa I just can't picture your husband as a blonde!"A gay guy walks into the doctors office. He takes off his clothes for examination. When he takes his clothes off the doctor sees a Nicoderm patch at the end of his penis. The doctor says... "Hmmm, that's interesting...Does it work?" The man answers.. "Sure does... I haven't had a butt in 3 weeks!"Q. What's the definition of eternity?A. The time between when you cum and she leaves.Q. How can you tell a head nurse?A. She's the one with the dirty knees!Q. What do gay kids get for Christmas?A. Erection Sets.Q. Where do fags park?A. In the rear. Love PoemsPOEM 1I like your styleI like your classbut most of all i like your assPOEM 2I'm a cool girl, in a cool townit takes a real mother fucker to put me downPOEM 3Kissing is a habitFucking is a gameGuys get all the pleasureGirls get all the painThe guy says i love youYou believe its trueBut when your tummy starts to swell,He says 'to hell with you'10 minutes of pleasure9 months in pain3 days in hospitalA baby without a nameThe baby is a bastardThe mother is a whoreThis never wouldn't have happenedIf the rubber wouldn't have tornPOEM 4Guys are like roses,Watch out for the pricks.POEM 5Smoke a smokeNot a buttFuck a virginNot a slut.POEM 6Sex is badSex is a sinSins are forgivenSo stick it in.POEM 7Holy mother, full of grace Bless my boyfriend's gorgeous faceBless his hair that tends to curlKeep him safe from all the girlsBless his arms that are so strongKeep his hands where they belongBless his dick, the one i suckedBless the bed, in which we fuckedAnd if my Mom happened to walk inBless the shit I'd be in.POEM 8Sex is when a guys communicationenters a girls informationto increase the populationfor a younger generationdo you get the information...or do you need a demonstrationPOEM 9Men are like public toiletsThey are either engaged or full of shit!POEM 10If guys had periodsThey would compare the size of their tampons!POEM 11Mental anxiety,Mental breakdowns,Menstrual cramps,Menopause...Did you ever notice how all our problems begin with MEN!POEM 12Roses are red,Violets are corny,When I think of youOhhh baby I get horny,Eat me,Beat me,Bite me,Blow me,Suck me,Fuck me,Very slowly,if you kiss me,don't be sassy,Use your tongue and make it nasty!POEM 13Roses are red, violets are blue...I'm in love but not with you...When we broke up you thought I criedBut all it was...Was another guy,You told your friends that I was a trick,I told mine that you had a weak dick...I said I loved youAnd you thought it was true,But guess what baby?!You got played too!!</blockquote>

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