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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063774830" data-attributes="member: 14320">JoHN 's WifeAbout six months ago, John's wife died an untimely death. He loved hiswife and had been married to her for almost 23 years. One day, John wasfeeling his oats as well as a little sorry for himself. "It's been so longsince I got any," lamented John. "I'm a pretty healthy guy and I'm use togetting a lot of sex," he said. "But now that my wife is dead, I haven't had sexin over six months!" So, he got a crazy idea. "I will just dig up thewife and see what's going on," he thought to himself. So, he did. When he gother out of the ground, he saw that she was only a little flaky around theedges, so he decided to do her like a jackrabbit. Well, pretty soon, he noticedthat she was just lying there like a fish and was all cold and clammy. John remarked: "Wow, she hasn't changed a bit!"@@@@@A man and his grandson are fishing by a peaceful lake beneath someweeping willow trees. The man takes out a cigarette and lights it. Hisgrandson says, "Grandpa, Can I try some of your cigarette?" "Can you touch yourasshole with your penis?" he says. "No," says the little boy. "Thenyou're not big enough." A few more minutes pass, and the man takes a beer ourof his cooler and opens it. The little boy says, "Grandpa, can I havesome of your beer?" "Can you touch your asshole with your penis?", he says."No,"says the little boy. "Then you're not old enough." Time passes andthey continue to fish. The little boy gets hungry and he reaches into hislunch box, takes out a bag of cookies and eats one. The grandfather looks athim and says, "Hey they look good. Can I have one of your cookies?" "Canyou touch your asshole with your penis?" says the little boy. "I mostcertainly can!" says the grandfather. "Then go fuck yourself," says the boy,"These are my cookies!"@@@@@For a lark this strip joint has a contest, for the smelliest cuntcontest.So this Fat disgusting chick shows up with her husband. She's so fatand lazy she has to be assisted by her husband to the cunt stand. Sheblows the doors out of this place because her cunt is so smelly. She wins handsdown.Her brave husband had stuck with her and accepted the check forwinning the contest. The management couldn't help but ask, how do you stand thesmell.He says, "well when she first died two weeks ago, it was pretty bad,but you get used to it."World's Biggest PussyA guy goes to see this hooker who is said to have the world's biggestpussy. He starts fucking her but she's WAY too big and he's gettingno satisfaction, so he slides his whole body inside her and triesto get off, but he falls in. He's groping around in the dark and helights his lighter and starts walking around. After a while hedrops the lighter by accident and starts crawling around looking forit. He bumps into another guy. "Hey" he says, "You're lost inhere too, eh? Listen, if we can find my lighter, we can walk outof here." "Hell," says the other guy, "If we find my car we can*drive* out of here!"=========Q. What's the difference between revenge and sweet revenge?A. Rooting your enemy's wife and finding out she's a lousy lay.Q. Why is it good to have a wife?A. Because sooner or later something will go wrong that youcan't blame on the government.Q. What's black and white and tells the pope to get stuffed?A. A nun with six winning lotto numbers.=======A chick turns up to this fancy dress party completely naked and knocks onthe door. The guy who answers the door says, "You can't come in here,you're not in fancy dress." She says, "Yes I am, I've come as acarpenter." So he lets her in and says, "Hey guys, this chick reckonsshe's dressed as a carpenter!""Prove it!", they all say.So she puts one leg up on the table and says, "Have you ever seen a boxfull of sores like this one?"</blockquote>

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