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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063766429" data-attributes="member: 14320">Foul LanguageTO: All EmployeesFROM: Human ResourcesSUBJECT: Foul LanguageDATE: February 28, 2000It has been brought to management's attention that individualsthroughout the company have been using foul language duringthe course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Dueto complaints received from employees who may be easilyoffended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.We do however, realize the critical importance of being ableto accurately express your feelings when communicating withco-workers.Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been providedso that the proper exchange of ideas and information cancontinue in an effective manner, without risk the of offendingour more sensitive employees.TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.INSTEAD OF: And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.INSTEAD OF: No fucking wayTRY SAYING: Really?INSTEAD OF: You've got to be shitting me!TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit.TRY SAYING: Of course I'm concerned.INSTEAD OF: Ask me if I give a shit.TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.INSTEAD OF: It's not my fucking problem.TRY SAYING: That's interesting.INSTEAD OF: What the fuck?TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.INSTEAD OF: This shit won't work.TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?TRY SAYING: Are you sure this is a problem?INSTEAD OF: Who the hell cares?TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his ass.TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?INSTEAD OF: Eat shit and die.TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass.TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.INSTEAD OF: Fuck it, I'm on salary.TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass.TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.TRY SAYING: I see.INSTEAD OF: Blow me.TRY SAYING: Yes, we really should discuss it.INSTEAD OF: Another fucking meeting!TRY SAYING: I don't think this will be a problem.INSTEAD OF: I really don't give a shit.TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.INSTEAD OF: He's a prick.TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting bitch.TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the fuck you're doing.Thank You,Human ResourcesFarts In The ClassroomLittle Johnny farts in the classroom and his teachergets really upset and throws him out he goes and sitsoutside the class and can't stop laughing.The principle walks by and sees him sitting outsidelaughing. He says, "Little Johnny what are you doingsitting here laughing?"Little Johnny says, "I farted in class and the teacherthrew me out"The principle says, "Well then why are you laughing?"Little Johnny says, "Cause the dumb idiots are sittingin the class smelling my fart and they put me outsidein this beautiful weather"vvvvvSame questionThe moon shown silver on the waters of the lake and thewaves that were beating on the shore were hardly equal inintensity to the waves of passion nearby.One ardent couple paused long enough for the young man towhisper, "Darling am I the first man to make love to you ?"Her tone, upon answering, was slightly more than irritable."Of course you are!" she said. "and also the best too.don't know why you men always ask the same old ridiculousquestions." vvvvvWhy did God create yeast infections?So women would know what it's like to live with anirritating cunt once in a while too.Alcohol Kills Slowly So What ? ~ Who's In A Hurry ?What's the real meaning of the word lesbian??? Just another woman trying to do a man's job.</blockquote>

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