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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063763208" data-attributes="member: 14320">Who To MarryThere once was a man who had three girlfriends, and he couldn’t decide which one to marry. He decided to give five thousand dollars to each woman to see what she would do with it.The first woman bought new clothes for herself. She got an expensive new hairdo, a massage, a facial, a manicure, and a pedicure. She said, I spent the money so that I would look pretty for you because I love you so much.The second woman bought a VCR, a CD player, a set of golf clubs, and a tennis racket and gave them to the man. I used the money to buy you these gifts because I love you, she told him.The third woman invested the money in the stock market and within a short time had doubled her investment. She returned the initial five thousand dollars to the man and reinvested the profit. I'm investing in our future because I love you so much, she said.The man carefully considered how each woman had spent the money, and married the woman with the biggest tits. Flip Flops and DildoAfter Christmas Tom and Harry were at work talking about what they bought their wives for Christmas.Tom says "I got my wife a 3 carat diamond ring and a brand new BMW".Harry asked "if you got her a 3 carat diamond ring then why did you get a BMW"."So if she didn't like the ring I knew that she would like the BMW" said Tom, "well what did you get your wife?"Harry replies "well I got her a pair of flip flops and a dildo".Tom laughs and askes "why did you get her a dildo?""Well so if she didn't like the flip flops she could go screw herself"Grandma Saperstein and Grandpa Rabinowitz are sitting on the verandah of the old folks home rocking back and forth in their rocking chairs. Grandpa Rabinowitz rocks forward in his chair and says to Grandma, "Fuck you!"Grandma Saperstein rocks forward in her chair and says to Grandpa, "Fuck you too!"Grandpa becomes very much excited and shouts, "Fuck you!" swinging more forward again.Grandma remains graceful but leans forward and says, "Fuck you again."This goes on. Finally Grandpa says, "You know something, Grandma, this oral sex thing ain't all it's cracked up to be."Hung Chow calls in to work and says. "Hey boss, I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt. I not come work."The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you today, when I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I can go to work. You should try that."Two hours later Hung Chow calls again: "Boss, I do what you say and feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house!" "Ma, I Got Married"A beautiful young girl comes home and says, "Ma, I got married."Her mother says, "Oy, that's great."She says, "But, Ma, he's an Arab."Her mother says, "Oy, that's not so great."She says, "But, Ma, he's an Arab sheik. He's wealthy beyond yourwildest dreams. You and Daddy are going to live in the lap of luxuryfor the rest of your lives."Six months later, she walks in the house and says, "Ma, I love myArab sheik, but my God, all he wants to do is boff me in my ass. Dayand night, that's all he'll do is bang me in my ass. When I gotmarried, my asshole was the size of a dime...now, it's the size of asilver dollar."Her mother says, "So for ninety cents you're going to make trouble?"zxzWhat the diffrent between eating pussy and mash potatos?Pussy makes its own gravy.zxzThe thought for the day:Some people are like Slinkies Not really good for anything,but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down aflight of stairs!zxz"My, but you look different today, Jill." commentedIngrid to her co-worker. "Your hair is extra curly,and you have this wide-eyed look. What did you use --special curlers and some dramatic eye make-up?""No!" replied Jill. "My damn vibrator shorted out this morning."zxzMary: Yeah, he was nice enough, but the real reason Idated him for so long was RBD.Jill: RBD?Mary: Yeah, Really Big Dick.</blockquote>

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