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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063757618" data-attributes="member: 14320">Halloween PartyA Black man and his wife are going to a Halloween party in a couple ofdays, so the husband asks his wife to go to the store and get costumesfor them to wear.When he comes home that night, he goes into the bedroom and finds, laidout on the bed, a Superman costume.The husband calls to his wife, "What are you doing, honey?" he says."Have you ever heard of a Black Superman? Can you take this back and getme something else to wear?"The next day, the wife, not too happy, returns the costume and gets areplacement. The husband comes home from work and goes into the bedroom.There, laid out on the bed, is a Batman costume.He yells to his wife, "What are you doing? Have you ever heard of aBlack Batman? Take this shit back and get me something I can wear to thecostume party!"The next morning, his irate wife goes shopping. When the husband comeshome again from work, he finds there, laid out on the bed, three items:one is a set of three white buttons, the second is a thick white belt,and the third item is a 2X4 piece of wood.The husband yells again to his wife, "What the hell are these for?"The wife yells right back, "Take your clothes off. You can put thesethree white buttons on the front of you and go as a domino. If you don'tlike that one, you can put the white belt on and go as a an Oreo cookie.And if you don't like that one, you can stick the 2X4 up your ass and goas a fudgesicle."@@@On Halloween, this woman opens her door to find the most adorable little girl, with golden red hair and the biggest blue eyes. She was dressed as an witch, and was just delightful. The woman said, "What are you supposedto say sweetheart?" The little girl looks up at the woman and says..."Twick or Tweat!" The woman thinks this is just adorable, and she calls her husband to come to the door. The woman say to the child, "Go ahead honey say it just one more time." Once again the little Angel looks up and says, "Twick or Tweat!" The husband agrees with his wife, this little witch is just the cutest thing. The woman picks an apple from the Treat Bowl, shines it up with her apron, and drops it into the little girl's Treat Bag. The little witch looks in her bag then looks up at the woman and says... "Thanks lady, you just boke my fu--in' cookies!" Why Pumpkins Are Better Than Men!1. Every year you get a brand new crop to choose from.2. No matter what your mood is, pumpkins are always ready to greet you with a smile.3. One usually makes a better pie.4. They are always on the doorstep there waiting for you!5. If you don't like the way he looks, you just carve up another face.6. If he starts smelling up your place, you can just throw him out.7. From the start you know a pumpkin has an empty, mush filled head to begin with.8. A pumpkin is turned on (lit-up) only when you want him to be. 10 Least Popular Halloween Candies10. Bit-O-Squirrel9. Poisonettes8. Good n' Sweaty7. Middlefinger6. Della Reese's Pieces5. Clam Duds4. Baby Ruth Bader Ginsburg3. Gummy Marrow2. Ken Starrburst1. Osmond JoyWhat do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?A fur coat that fangs around your neck...Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?No, they eat the fingers separately...What did the Dracula say to his teacher?See you next Period!Where does Dracula keep his valuables?In a blood bank.How does a witch tell time?She looks at her witch watch.Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?To improve his bite...What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?Frostbite...Top 10 Signs You Are Too Old to Be Trick or Treating10. You get winded from knocking on the door.9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.8. You ask for high fiber candy only.7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balanceand fall over.6. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing amask.5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember therest.4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge yourhairpiece.2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.</blockquote>

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