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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063735018" data-attributes="member: 14320">Giving ConfessionA priest is giving confession but he drank a little too much communionwine before hand and had to piss really bad. So when the next guy wasdone with his confession the priest asked him, "Would you mind sittingin for me while I piss?"The man being a pleasant soul said sure no problem. So the priestshowed the man a list of sins and the corresponding penances to goalong with them. So the man was pretty secure that he had things undercontrol.The man was going along giving away Our Fathers, Hail Mary's, Rosariesand everything was going good. Then a lady came in said, "Forgive meFather for I have sinned. I gave my boyfriend a blowjob."So the man looked on his list for Blowjob but couldn't find it.He crossed reference it with Head, Sucked Dick, and Oral Sex butcouldn't find a penance.So he asked an Altar Boy, "Hey, what does the priest give for ablowjob?"To which the kid replied, "He usually gives us two candy bars and asoda pop."If a blonde who dyes her hair brown is "Artificial Intelligence," whatwould you call a brunette who bleached her hair blonde? "Artificial stupidity?"What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?Pregnant with twins.Why was the blonde reviewing the ABCs?She was studying for a multiple choice test.A Ballerina goes to the doctor, "Doc I am having terrible trouble withthe most awful wind. Every time I pirouette I fart," she cries."Hmmm," says the Doctor, "I'd like to see that if possible." Theballerina get up, pirouettes and Phrrrt... farts loudly."That's amazing, do it again."Again the pirouette is accompanied by a loud fart."Hmmm," says the Doctor. "I think I may be able to help." He bends downand picks up a long pole with a curious hook on the end.The ballerina jumps back in alarm, "What are you going to do withthat?""Open the window, it stinks in here for kripes sake."Roses And VioletRoses are awfulViolets are the pitsLift up your shirtAnd show us your titsRoses are straightViolets are twistedBend over loveYou're about to get fistedRoses are crapViolets are wankyOooh I've just comePass me a hankyRoses are stupidViolets are sillyGrease up your flapsCause here comes my willyRoses make me laughViolets make me bitterYou're a dirty bitchAnd you love it up the shitterRoses are redBut I like CarnationsYou're so bad in bedThat I fucked your AlsationRoses are redViolets are finerChickens are fowlJust like your vaginaRoses are redThat's elementaryLet's call up a friendAnd try double entryRoses are shitViolets are crapShow me your clitAnd I'll come in your lapRoses are redSkidmarks are brownGimmie a blow jobAnd swallow it downRoses are groovyViolets are funkyI'm thinking of youAnd spanking my monkey</blockquote>

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