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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063711136" data-attributes="member: 14320">The Hole Maker This guy`s speeding through a built up area in his clapped out oldmotor when he sees blue lights in his rear view mirror. Realizing it`sa police bike, he pulls over and the police officer comes over to him.The officer`s real arrogant and after slagging the car driver off,tells him that he`s booking him. He checks the guy`s license then asksfor some more details. When he asks the guy what he does for a living,the guy says "I`m a hole maker.""What the hell`s a hole maker?" asks the cop."Well it`s like this" says the guy, "First you get yourself a realdirty slag. Get her real drunk then start making out with her. Whenyou feel she`s getting good and damp, slip one finger up her and keepon working it in and out. After a while, slip a finger from your otherhand up her and gradually pull her lips apart. When you can, get allyour other fingers up her and then start on getting your hands up.When you`ve got your hands up her, kneel down and push your head upagainst her fanny. Move your head around whilst pulling her fanny openand keep at it until your head`s inside. Then start to stand upslowly, working your shoulders into her. Once you`ve got yourshoulders in the rest is easy. You just stand right up pulling herlips over your waist and then finally you pull your knees and feetinside. And that`s it!!"Fucking Hell!!" says the cop, "And what the fuck do you do with acunt that size?""You stick it in a blue uniform and put it on a motorcycle."What do women have in common with floor tiles?If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them forever.What do you get it you cross a pitbull terrier with a labrador?A dog that scares the shit out of you then fetches the toilet paper.Four fags were living together in a house. One morning, they woke upand one of them was dead (probably AIDS or something). The first onefreaks out and starts screaming "Call an ambulance quick!!!". Thesecond guy (a little calmer) says "Man, he's already dead, call themorgue instead". The third fag corrects them both and says "no, let'schop him up into little pieces, put him in a blender, then drink him!".The other two, just look at him in astonishment and finally ask "whatare you talking about you sick bastard?". Well he proclaims, "I justwanted to feel his meat sliding out of me one last time!"It was the first day of school, and the teacher was callingthe roll. She came to a strange name. The boy's name was IP.P. Rainwater. She called it out. When the youngster stoodup, the teacher demanded he tell her his real name, or leave her class.As he was leaving, he looked over at his younger brother and said,"Comeon Shithead. She won't believe you either."==================================================This guy says to his buddy, "You'll never believe what happenedlast night."His buddy says. "Well then, tell me what happened."The guy says, " Last night the doorbell rang, and when I openedthe door, there was my ex-mother-in-law on the front porch.She said, "Can I stay here for a few days?"I said, "Of course, you can," and shut the door."===================================================Three old men sitting around an old folks homeReflecting on things they wish they could still Do.....The first guys says, ya know, I wish I could just takeA good pee again!The second guy says ya, I just wish I could take aGood healthy crap again!Well, the third guy says, Ya know? About 8:45 I take aLong pee and about 10:00 or so, I take a great big crap.I just wish I could get outta bed before noon! ===================================================What's red and has seven little dents?Snowhite's cherry!What doe Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer do on Friday nights?Goes down to the Elk's Club & blows a few bucks.What do you call a zit on a blondes butt?A brain tumor===================================================A girl who works in an office complained to her friend that aco-worker was sexually harassing her. Her friend asked herwhat it was that he was doing. she said "when we're standingaround talking he says 'damn your hair smells good.'" Herfriend said "that's not sexual harassment. thats a compliment."She said "Yeah, but he's a fucking midget."</blockquote>

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