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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063709406" data-attributes="member: 14320">Nasty Q's & A'sQ: Where do they fit the fifth faggot in a Volkswagen?A: On the stick shift.Q: Why did the guy keep a tampon on top of his TV?A: To remind him that the cunt that got his VCR.Q: What is the first thing a woman should do when she gets out of thebattered wives' shelter?A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her.Q: Why do queers prefer rubbers with ridges?A: Better traction in the mud.Q: What is a Yankee?A: The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.Q: Why do women have orgasms?A: Because it gives them something else to moan about.Q: Why is AIDS considered a social disease?A: Because it results in a lot of lonely ass holes.Q: What's another name for a chastity belt?A: A manhole cover.Q: Why were there only 49 contestants in the Miss Ebonics contest?A: No one wanted to answer to "Idaho."Q: What's grosser than gross?A: Siamese twins connected at the ass, when one farts, the other one explodes.Q: How can a shrink tell his new patient is exceedingly shy?A: When she shows up for her first appointment carrying a specimen bottle.Q: What is the one reason a true humanitarian should support a shelter forbums in his own neighborhood?A: It would keep the flies away from his house.Secretary: "Boss, may I use your Dictaphone?"Boss: "No. Use your finger like everyone else."Q: What's small, red, and spins round at 2000rpm?A: A baby picking its nose with a power drill.Q: Did you hear about the leper prostitute who had to quit her job?A: Her business fell off.Q: How can you tell if you're at a Scotsman's stag party?A: When a sheep jumps out of the cake.Q: What is another name for a Scotsman with lots of girlfriends?A: Shepherd.Q: How can a woman make a man eat shit?A1: Wipe forward.A2: Marry him.Q: What should you do if an epileptic has a fit in your bath tub?A: Throw in your dirty laundry and some soap.Q: How many real men does it take to open a can of beer?A: None. The bitch better have it open when she gets it for me.Women's Sexual Facts70% of women who smoke have had more than 4 lovers in the last year while 60% of female non-smokers had none.Women who respond to sex surveys in mags like Cosmo may have 5 times as many lovers as typical women.Women who read romance novels have sex twice as often as those who don't.Women with a Ph.D. are twice as likely to be turned on by the thought of anonymous sex as women who never got a bachelor's degree.Women who went to college are more likely to enjoy oral sex (giving and receiving) than high school dropouts.National birthrates rise and fall with the height of heels.In a bar or nightclub, the hemlines and necklines of unaccompanied women rise and fall (respectively) during ovulation.Women who have a positive attitude towards sex tend to be less achievement oriented.White teenage girls who live with single mothers are 60% more likely to have sex before the age of 18 than those who live with both parents. The percentage is much lower for black girls.Women who lost their virginity before their 18th birthday are likely to be twice as sexually active as women who don't.Atheists, non-Christians and Jews are tend to be more sexually active than practicing Christians.Women who have spent a night in jail are almost 50% more likely to have had more than 10 lovers in the past year than women with no criminal record.Australian women are more likely to have sex on the first date.Latino women have sex more often than either Blacks or Whites, who get down at roughly the same rate.Black women are 50% more likely than White women to come every time they have sex.White women, especially those with a college degree, are the most receptive to anal sex.20% of women who live with their boyfriends have more than one sex partner.So, you know what this means? Yup...all you guys have to go looking for: a 1/4 Aussie/1/4 Latino/1/4 Black/1/4 White Atheist with a Ph.D., wearing a low neckline and high heels during happy hour in a swanky bar, smokes, has a criminal record, reads Cosmo and Barbara Cartland, and who lived with her single mom! Shouldn't be too hard.Happy hunting.</blockquote>

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