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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063708426" data-attributes="member: 14320">Call 1-800-SAV-A-DIC!"Woman chops off sleeping man's penis and drops from moving car!"Don't laugh, it is true, and it can happen to you!!Right now thousands of agitated, irate women have readThat headline and are contemplating similar action against youThe next time you make an unwanted sexual advance,Look at them the wrong way, or just upset them in general!!MEN PROTECT YOURSELVES NOW!!If you found yourself a victim of CDS (Chop and Drop Syndrome)Could you be sure the appropriate authorities would find yourChopped member in time and intact?? Could you be sure the penisPart they found was yours??Inquire now about our low-cost PenisProtectionPlan! *Plan 1: We'll register your penis and scrotum, plus tattoo themWith their own unique registration number, ensuring that in caseOf separation, you will get a perfect match every time.Plan 2: Our Jurassic prick program. We'll take a cell sample fromYour penis and clone replacement parts for you in the event aTrailer-tractor runs over your penis, or some wild animal mistakesYour detached member for a chew toy.Plan 3: For those of you who believe in prevention,We offer a one size fits all, battery-operated, stainless steelJockstrap that can be worn when necessary. When you are asleepAn alarm will be activated when metal or other hazardous objectsCome within one foot of the jockstrap.This will guarantee you a full nights sleep, free of worry.Don't get caught short ...Call 1-800-SAV-A-DIC today!!!!!Remember ... The dick you save could be your own!!PRICES VARY ACCORDING TO SIZE. Men Bashing1. Women don't make fools of men -- most of them are thedo-it-yourself types.2. The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason:you've gotten sick of him.3. Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home. Heprobably lies about other things too.4. A woman's work that is never done, is the stuff she askedher husband to do.5. If you want a nice man, go for a bald one -- they tryharder.6. Go for younger men. You might as well -- they nevermature anyway.7. There are only two four letter words that are offensiveto men -- don't and "stop" (but not used together).8. Men are all the same -- they just have different facesso you can tell them apart.9. Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband,you will usually find that he is.10. Scientists have just discovered something that can dothe work of five men -- a woman.11. There are a lot of words you can use to describe men -strong, caring, loving -- they'd be wrong but you couldstill use them!12. Men are like animals -- messy, insensitive andpotentially violent but they make great pets!13. Men's brains are like the prison system -- not enoughcells per man.14. Husbands are like children -- they're fine if they'resomeone else's.15. If you think the way to a man's heart is throughhis stomach you're aiming too high.16. A man who can dress himself without looking likeWurzel Gummidge is Turzel Gummidge..17. Definition of a man with manners -- he gets out ofthe bath to pee.18. If a man appears sexy, caring and smart give him aday and he will be back to his usual self.19. All men are like chickens with their heads cut off whenthey see beautiful women pass by.20. If your man appears happy, excited and keeps lookingat you all of a sudden he is probably checking out thewomen behind you.21. Figuring out men is like trying to make a jigsaw puzzlein a car, once you think you have it all put together, youfind another piece but you don't know where it goes.@@@Q. How are husbands like lawn mowers?A. They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.Q. How can you tell when a man is well hung?A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.Q. How do men define a "50/50" relationship?A. We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.Q. How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?A. All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs.Q. What do you call the useless piece of skin on the end of a man's penis?A. His body.Q. What do men and pantyhose have in common?A. They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch!Q. Why can't men get mad cow disease?A. Because they're all pigs.Q. Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?A. Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe. Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?A. A widow.</blockquote>

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