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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063707742" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">TOP TEN THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A COP WHEN YOU'RE PULLED OVER</span></strong></p><p></p><p>10 Back off Barney, I've got a piece.</p><p>9 Wanta race to the station, Sparky?</p><p>8 I know I was weaving, but I can't find the Honeycomb Hideout!</p><p>7 On the way to the station let's get a twelve pack.</p><p>6 You'll never get those cuffs on me...You Pussy!</p><p>5 Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!</p><p>4 Hey wasn't your daughter a pork queen?</p><p>3 How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.</p><p>2 Hey officer is that your nightstick or are you just glad to see me?</p><p>1 I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Doughnuts has a 3 for 1 special!</p><p></p><p></p><p>A guy was spending the night with a married couple in their apartment.</p><p>Since they didn't have a couch, they let him share their bed with them.</p><p></p><p>Once they all went to bed and the husband fell asleep, the wife whispered in</p><p>the guy's ear, "Pull a hair from my husband's ass, If he is asleep we can</p><p>have sex."</p><p></p><p>The guy pulled a hair from the husband's ass, and he didn't wake up, so the</p><p>guy proceeded to make it with the wife.</p><p></p><p>Not satisfied, the wife told him to do it a second , then a third time,</p><p>which he happily did.</p><p></p><p>Finally, the husband rolled over and said wearily, "It's bad enough that</p><p>you're fucking my wife in the same bed as me, but do you have to use my ass</p><p>as a scoreboard?"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Not a Virgin</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A girl about to be married confessed to her close friend that she</p><p>was not, as her fiance thought, a virgin. She asked her friend what</p><p>to do.</p><p>"No Problem," said the friend, who had just finished watching an</p><p>Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. "Just buy a piece of raw liver and</p><p>shove it up inside you. It will make you tight and he will never</p><p>know the difference."</p><p></p><p>The girl followed this advice and on her wedding night the groom</p><p>consummated the marriage with tremendous energy in the bed, on the</p><p>floor, in the bathtub, under the kitchen table, everywhere. She</p><p>fell asleep blissfully, but when she awoke she was devastated to</p><p>find the following note pinned to her pillow: Dear Jane: Last night</p><p>was pure heaven. Unfortunately, since we will never be able to</p><p>repeat that performance, I am leaving you forever.</p><p>P.S. Your pussy is in the sink.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">SSSSS</span></strong></p><p></p><p>The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her young students so</p><p>she took him aside after class one day.</p><p></p><p>"Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?"</p><p></p><p>"I'm in love," replied Little Johnny.</p><p></p><p>Holding back an urge to smile, the teacher asked, "With whom?"</p><p></p><p>"With you!" he said.</p><p></p><p>"But Little Johnny," said the teacher gently, "don't you see how</p><p>silly that is? Sure I'd like a husband of my own someday ... but I</p><p>don't want a child."</p><p></p><p>"Oh, don't worry," said Little Johnny reassuringly,</p><p></p><p>"I'll use a rubber!"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063707742, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]TOP TEN THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A COP WHEN YOU'RE PULLED OVER[/COLOR][/B] 10 Back off Barney, I've got a piece. 9 Wanta race to the station, Sparky? 8 I know I was weaving, but I can't find the Honeycomb Hideout! 7 On the way to the station let's get a twelve pack. 6 You'll never get those cuffs on me...You Pussy! 5 Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes! 4 Hey wasn't your daughter a pork queen? 3 How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me. 2 Hey officer is that your nightstick or are you just glad to see me? 1 I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Doughnuts has a 3 for 1 special! A guy was spending the night with a married couple in their apartment. Since they didn't have a couch, they let him share their bed with them. Once they all went to bed and the husband fell asleep, the wife whispered in the guy's ear, "Pull a hair from my husband's ass, If he is asleep we can have sex." The guy pulled a hair from the husband's ass, and he didn't wake up, so the guy proceeded to make it with the wife. Not satisfied, the wife told him to do it a second , then a third time, which he happily did. Finally, the husband rolled over and said wearily, "It's bad enough that you're fucking my wife in the same bed as me, but do you have to use my ass as a scoreboard?" [B][COLOR="Teal"]Not a Virgin[/COLOR][/B] A girl about to be married confessed to her close friend that she was not, as her fiance thought, a virgin. She asked her friend what to do. "No Problem," said the friend, who had just finished watching an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. "Just buy a piece of raw liver and shove it up inside you. It will make you tight and he will never know the difference." The girl followed this advice and on her wedding night the groom consummated the marriage with tremendous energy in the bed, on the floor, in the bathtub, under the kitchen table, everywhere. She fell asleep blissfully, but when she awoke she was devastated to find the following note pinned to her pillow: Dear Jane: Last night was pure heaven. Unfortunately, since we will never be able to repeat that performance, I am leaving you forever. P.S. Your pussy is in the sink. [B][COLOR="Red"]SSSSS[/COLOR][/B] The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her young students so she took him aside after class one day. "Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?" "I'm in love," replied Little Johnny. Holding back an urge to smile, the teacher asked, "With whom?" "With you!" he said. "But Little Johnny," said the teacher gently, "don't you see how silly that is? Sure I'd like a husband of my own someday ... but I don't want a child." "Oh, don't worry," said Little Johnny reassuringly, "I'll use a rubber!" [/QUOTE]
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