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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063702654" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Male / Female Bashing</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Men are more controlled by a part of the brain known as the penis.</p><p></p><p>What does a rooster and a prostitute have in common?</p><p>Roosters calling: "cock-a-doodle-doo" </p><p>Prostitute calling: "any-cock-will-do"</p><p></p><p>If tennis players get tennis elbow, and squash players get squash</p><p>knees, what do gynecologists get?</p><p>Tunnel vision!</p><p></p><p>"Sometimes I call my husband 'Q'," the wife told her friend.</p><p>"Why's that?" the friend asked. "Is he some kinda superguy</p><p>like that man on Star Trek?"</p><p>"No," said the wife, "he's a big fat zero with a little dick</p><p>hangin' down."</p><p></p><p>What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?</p><p>Well hung. </p><p></p><p>What's the best thing to come out of a penis when you stroke it?</p><p>The wrinkles.</p><p></p><p>How do you give a woman freedom of speech?</p><p>Take your dick out of her mouth.</p><p></p><p>If I had a cock of steel and balls of solid brass</p><p>I'd find a marble statue and ram it up it's ass.</p><p></p><p>What does the word S-I-N-G-L-E stand for?</p><p>Stay Intoxicated Nightly, Get Laid Everyday</p><p></p><p>What do you call the space between the vagina and the asshole?</p><p>A Chin Rest.</p><p></p><p>What do you call the useless flesh which surrounds a vagina?</p><p>A woman.</p><p></p><p>What's the toughest part of a mans body?</p><p>His cock, 'cos it can stand up to any cunt.</p><p></p><p>How many cocksuckers does it take to change a light bulb?</p><p>Shut up and keep sucking. You can change the fucking thing once I've cum.</p><p></p><p>EINSTEIN'S OTHER THEORY </p><p>The angle of the dangle decreases with the sag of the bag,</p><p>and increases in proportion to the heat of the meat</p><p>compared to the mass of the ass and the beauty of the cutie. </p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal"> IT'S MY WIFE </span></strong> </p><p></p><p>When I went to lunch today, I noticed an elderly man, about 75 to 80</p><p>years old, sitting on a bench near the shopping center sobbing his eyes</p><p>out. I stopped and asked him what was wrong.</p><p></p><p>He said, "I have a 22 year old wife at home. She makes love to me</p><p>every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh</p><p>fruit and freshly brewed coffee."</p><p></p><p>I said, "Well, then why are you crying?"</p><p></p><p>He said, "She makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite</p><p>brownies and then makes love to me half the afternoon."</p><p></p><p>I asked again, "So why are you crying?"</p><p></p><p>He continued, "For dinner she makes me a gourmet meal with wine and</p><p>my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until midnight."</p><p></p><p>I said, "Well, why in the world would you be crying?"</p><p></p><p>He answered, "If only I could remember where I live."</p><p></p><p>“I’ve been making a lot of Freudian slips lately,” a man says casually to his friend.</p><p></p><p>“Like what?” asks his buddy.</p><p></p><p>“Well, last week I asked the train conductor for two pickets to Tittsburgh.”</p><p></p><p>“I did something similar the other day,” says the friend. “My wife and I were having breakfast, and instead of saying, ‘Honey, please pass the butter,’ I said, ‘You bitch, you ruined my life!’”</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063702654, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Male / Female Bashing[/COLOR][/B] Men are more controlled by a part of the brain known as the penis. What does a rooster and a prostitute have in common? Roosters calling: "cock-a-doodle-doo" Prostitute calling: "any-cock-will-do" If tennis players get tennis elbow, and squash players get squash knees, what do gynecologists get? Tunnel vision! "Sometimes I call my husband 'Q'," the wife told her friend. "Why's that?" the friend asked. "Is he some kinda superguy like that man on Star Trek?" "No," said the wife, "he's a big fat zero with a little dick hangin' down." What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? Well hung. What's the best thing to come out of a penis when you stroke it? The wrinkles. How do you give a woman freedom of speech? Take your dick out of her mouth. If I had a cock of steel and balls of solid brass I'd find a marble statue and ram it up it's ass. What does the word S-I-N-G-L-E stand for? Stay Intoxicated Nightly, Get Laid Everyday What do you call the space between the vagina and the asshole? A Chin Rest. What do you call the useless flesh which surrounds a vagina? A woman. What's the toughest part of a mans body? His cock, 'cos it can stand up to any cunt. How many cocksuckers does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up and keep sucking. You can change the fucking thing once I've cum. EINSTEIN'S OTHER THEORY The angle of the dangle decreases with the sag of the bag, and increases in proportion to the heat of the meat compared to the mass of the ass and the beauty of the cutie. [B][COLOR="Teal"] IT'S MY WIFE [/COLOR][/B] When I went to lunch today, I noticed an elderly man, about 75 to 80 years old, sitting on a bench near the shopping center sobbing his eyes out. I stopped and asked him what was wrong. He said, "I have a 22 year old wife at home. She makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly brewed coffee." I said, "Well, then why are you crying?" He said, "She makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me half the afternoon." I asked again, "So why are you crying?" He continued, "For dinner she makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until midnight." I said, "Well, why in the world would you be crying?" He answered, "If only I could remember where I live." “I’ve been making a lot of Freudian slips lately,” a man says casually to his friend. “Like what?” asks his buddy. “Well, last week I asked the train conductor for two pickets to Tittsburgh.” “I did something similar the other day,” says the friend. “My wife and I were having breakfast, and instead of saying, ‘Honey, please pass the butter,’ I said, ‘You bitch, you ruined my life!’” [/QUOTE]
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