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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063668656" data-attributes="member: 14320">Confucius says... - Man with penis in peanut butter jar is fucking nuts.- Man who drop watch in toilet, bound to have shitty time.- Man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent.- Man who go to bed with question of sex on mind wake up with solution in hand.- He who go to bed with itchy butt, wake up with smelly finger.- He who pees in wind gets wet.- Man who run in front of car get tired.- To prevent hangover stay drunk!- Passionate kiss like spider's web - soon lead to undoing of fly.- Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ.- Man who walk thru airport turnstyle sideways going to BANGkok.- Woman who eat banana get cream in mouth.- Man trapped in whore house get jerked around.- Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.- Man with tool in woman's mouth, not necessarily a dentist.- Man with hand in pocket is having a ball.- Man who puts rooster in ice box take out stiff cock.- Woman who wear G-string, high on crack!- War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.- Man who eat many prunes, sit on toilet many moons.- Man who bounce woman on bed spring this spring have offspring next spring.- People who make Confucious joke speak bad English.- All blonde not blonde by cracky- Blonde who fly upside down have crack up.- Boy fool with girl in wrong period get caught red handed.- Chemist who fall in acid get absorbed in work.- Crowded elevator smell different to midget.- Girl laid in tomb may soon become mummy.- Girl who douches with vinegar, walks around with sour pussy.- Girl who marry detective must kiss dick.- Girl with back to fire warming whole of her body.- He who eats ice cream in car is a Sundae Driver- He who keeps both feet planted firmly on ground, have trouble getting pants off.- He who masturbates in front of cash register come into money.Making Cupcakes One night a little girl comes down the stairs and catches herparents having sex on the couch.The little girl asks, "What are you doing?"Her parents, surprised, stammer "Oh... er... well we're justmaking cupcakes honey don't worry just go back to sleep"So the little girl goes back to sleep.The next morning the girl walks up to her parents and asks themif it's true that they were making cupcakes the night before."Of course sweetie" says the mother."Good" says the girl, "because I licked up all the frosting."===Three reason why chocolate is better than sexChocolate satifies you even when softYou can have it in front of your parentsAnd it wont mind if you bite hard on its nuts===August's Ebonic Word of the Month is "Omelette"Yes, let me use it in a sentence:I should punch you dead in the eye for what you just said, butOMELETTE this one slide.===What's the difference between a Jewish American Princess and Jello?Jello wiggles when you eat it!Q. What do you find in a clean nose?A. Fingerprints!Q. How can you tell if a novel is homosexual?A. The hero always gets his man in the end.Q. What do a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?A. A wet nose.Q. What's the hottest thing in the world?A. Two rats fucking in a wool sock.Q. What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?A. Beef strokin' off.Q. Why doesn't Smokey the bear have any kids?A. Because every time his wife gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel.Q. How many animals can you get into a pair of tights?A. 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 pussy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?A: The porcupine has pricks on the outside.Q: Why did God create alcohol?A: So ugly people would have a chance to have sex.Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?A: "Are you sure it's mine?"</blockquote>

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