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JeSt fOr LaUgHs...
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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063665027" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">What Are They Are Talking About?</span></strong></p><p></p><p>* The hole closed on him before he could penetrate it.</p><p>* He came at his blind side and got him from behind.</p><p>* He's off to the sidelines for a quick blow!</p><p>* It's a game of inches.</p><p>* That hole was so big, you could drive a truck through</p><p>it.</p><p>* When you get down in this area, you gotta just start</p><p>pounding it.</p><p>* He's gonna feel that one tomorrow.</p><p>* He found his tight end.</p><p>* End around!</p><p>* He had to stretch to get it in!</p><p>* He gets penetration into their backfield!</p><p>* He blows them off!</p><p>* He bangs it in!</p><p>* He could go all the way!</p><p>* He gets it off just in time!</p><p>* He goes deep!</p><p>* He found a hole and slid through it!</p><p>* He pounds it in!</p><p>* He beats them off at the movement of the ball~</p><p>* He's got great hands!</p><p></p><p>Football~~~Now Aren't You Embarrassed!</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">=======</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A married couple was having dinner and the conversation got around to</p><p>transplants and artificial body parts.</p><p></p><p>"They'll make an artificial dick next," the wife said.</p><p></p><p>"Bullshit!" replied the husband, "There are something's you can't make</p><p>... besides, what would you make it from?"</p><p></p><p>"Iron," she told him.</p><p></p><p>"Don't be stupid, woman. It'd rust."</p><p></p><p>"Ok, brass then," she insisted.</p><p></p><p>"That's bloody ridiculous," scoffed the husband. "Men would never be</p><p>able to keep it clean."</p><p></p><p>"Rubbish!" she told him. "I've watched you polish yours while watching</p><p>porno videos for years!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">=======</span></strong></p><p></p><p>At the end of the workday, one cowboy tells another, "That new</p><p>bull nearly did me in today, partner."</p><p></p><p>"Oh yeah, what happened?"</p><p></p><p>"I was putting out the feed, when the sucker came charging at me</p><p>like a locomotive from hell. He damn near got me!"</p><p></p><p>"So, how'd you get away?"</p><p></p><p>The bull kept slipping. He slipped three times, and that gave me</p><p>a chance to make it to the fence and jump over."</p><p></p><p>"Man, that's scary. If it'd been me, I would probably have shit</p><p>all over the place."</p><p></p><p>"I DID! What do you think that bull was slipping in?</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Skin Specialist</span></strong></p><p></p><p>The MD had referred the patient to the dermatologist, because she</p><p>could not understand why the patient had these GREEN places on her</p><p>inner thighs. "Tell me," said the skin specialist, "are you</p><p>married?"</p><p></p><p>"No," said the patient, "but I have a boyfriend."</p><p></p><p>"And is your boyfriend a</p><p>Gypsy?" "Yes," said the patient, "but how did you know?"</p><p></p><p>"It was elementary, my dear. And you can tell your boyfriend that his</p><p>earrings are not real gold."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">========</span></strong></p><p></p><p>What do you call a prostitute with her hand in her panties?</p><p>~ Self employed.</p><p></p><p>What do you get if you cross a whore and a computer?</p><p>~ A fucking know-it-all.</p><p></p><p>Do you know the difference between a salad and a blowjob?</p><p>~ No? Well, okay then, let me take you out to lunch.</p><p>It'll be my treat!</p><p></p><p>What's the favorite TV show in Arkansas?</p><p>~ Touched By An Uncle.</p><p></p><p>How is a dick like fishing?</p><p>~ Throw back the small ones, eat the medium ones and ...</p><p>mount the large ones.</p><p></p><p>How do you get your husband interested in oral sex?</p><p>~ Douche with beer</p><p></p><p>Did you hear about the prostitute who was into bondage?</p><p>~ She was strapped for cash.</p><p></p><p>Did you hear about the masochistic homosexual?</p><p>~ He was sucker for punishment.</p><p></p><p>What do menstrual periods and spaghetti sauce have in common?</p><p>~ If you miss your Ragu, you could be Prego.</p><p></p><p>How do you know your mechanic has just had sex?</p><p>~ One of his fingers is clean.</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">========</span></strong></p><p></p><p>The was a young lady named Flo.</p><p>Whose lover had pulled out too slow.</p><p>So they tried it all night</p><p>Till he got it just right.</p><p>Well, practice makes pregnant, you know!</p><p>Said the whore whom they called Geraldine,</p><p>"When I think of the pricks that I've seen,</p><p>And all of the nuts</p><p>And the arseholes and butts</p><p>And bastards like you in between."</p><p></p><p>Fair Jennifer's hair is beyond compare.</p><p>Her eyes are bright, brown, and shiny.</p><p>Her lips are divine, </p><p>In fact, she'd be fine...</p><p>If only her tits weren't so tiny!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063665027, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]What Are They Are Talking About?[/COLOR][/B] * The hole closed on him before he could penetrate it. * He came at his blind side and got him from behind. * He's off to the sidelines for a quick blow! * It's a game of inches. * That hole was so big, you could drive a truck through it. * When you get down in this area, you gotta just start pounding it. * He's gonna feel that one tomorrow. * He found his tight end. * End around! * He had to stretch to get it in! * He gets penetration into their backfield! * He blows them off! * He bangs it in! * He could go all the way! * He gets it off just in time! * He goes deep! * He found a hole and slid through it! * He pounds it in! * He beats them off at the movement of the ball~ * He's got great hands! Football~~~Now Aren't You Embarrassed! [B][COLOR="Red"]=======[/COLOR][/B] A married couple was having dinner and the conversation got around to transplants and artificial body parts. "They'll make an artificial dick next," the wife said. "Bullshit!" replied the husband, "There are something's you can't make ... besides, what would you make it from?" "Iron," she told him. "Don't be stupid, woman. It'd rust." "Ok, brass then," she insisted. "That's bloody ridiculous," scoffed the husband. "Men would never be able to keep it clean." "Rubbish!" she told him. "I've watched you polish yours while watching porno videos for years!" [B][COLOR="Red"]=======[/COLOR][/B] At the end of the workday, one cowboy tells another, "That new bull nearly did me in today, partner." "Oh yeah, what happened?" "I was putting out the feed, when the sucker came charging at me like a locomotive from hell. He damn near got me!" "So, how'd you get away?" The bull kept slipping. He slipped three times, and that gave me a chance to make it to the fence and jump over." "Man, that's scary. If it'd been me, I would probably have shit all over the place." "I DID! What do you think that bull was slipping in? [B][COLOR="Teal"]Skin Specialist[/COLOR][/B] The MD had referred the patient to the dermatologist, because she could not understand why the patient had these GREEN places on her inner thighs. "Tell me," said the skin specialist, "are you married?" "No," said the patient, "but I have a boyfriend." "And is your boyfriend a Gypsy?" "Yes," said the patient, "but how did you know?" "It was elementary, my dear. And you can tell your boyfriend that his earrings are not real gold." [B][COLOR="Red"]========[/COLOR][/B] What do you call a prostitute with her hand in her panties? ~ Self employed. What do you get if you cross a whore and a computer? ~ A fucking know-it-all. Do you know the difference between a salad and a blowjob? ~ No? Well, okay then, let me take you out to lunch. It'll be my treat! What's the favorite TV show in Arkansas? ~ Touched By An Uncle. How is a dick like fishing? ~ Throw back the small ones, eat the medium ones and ... mount the large ones. How do you get your husband interested in oral sex? ~ Douche with beer Did you hear about the prostitute who was into bondage? ~ She was strapped for cash. Did you hear about the masochistic homosexual? ~ He was sucker for punishment. What do menstrual periods and spaghetti sauce have in common? ~ If you miss your Ragu, you could be Prego. How do you know your mechanic has just had sex? ~ One of his fingers is clean. [B][COLOR="Red"]========[/COLOR][/B] The was a young lady named Flo. Whose lover had pulled out too slow. So they tried it all night Till he got it just right. Well, practice makes pregnant, you know! Said the whore whom they called Geraldine, "When I think of the pricks that I've seen, And all of the nuts And the arseholes and butts And bastards like you in between." Fair Jennifer's hair is beyond compare. Her eyes are bright, brown, and shiny. Her lips are divine, In fact, she'd be fine... If only her tits weren't so tiny! [/QUOTE]
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