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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063660645" data-attributes="member: 14320">The Redneck FarmerThe redneck farmer was disturbed when he found out his son wasmasturbating several times a day out in the barn. "Boy, you gottaquit that! Go out and git yo'self a wife." So the boy went out andfound himself a pretty young girl, to whom he got married. But aweek or so after the wedding, the farmer found his son choking thechicken again."You crazy boy!!" he yelled, "That Elli-Mae's a fine young gal!!" "Iknow Paw," the boy replied, "but her arm gits tired sometimes!"@@@@@@@Creeping around to the bedroom window, the private detectives sawtheir client's wife in bed with another man. "Just as I suspected,"said the first. "Let's go in after him." "Great idea," the otherreplied. "How soon do you think he'll be finished?"@@@@@@@A sweet, beautiful young would-be starlet comes to Hollywood to seekher fortune. At her first power cocktail party she goes to the hostand asks him: "Who's the most powerful man in the room?""That would be Bob, over there by the caviar," he says.The young woman walks over to Bob and says, "Excuse me, Bob, wouldyou mind stepping back behind this column? I'd like to talk to you."Bob and the girl step behind the column and she says, "Bob... I'mgonna unzip your fly, take out your cock, and give you the bestblowjob you ever had...!"Bob smiles slightly and says, "Well, okay. But.............. what'sin it for me?"@@@@@@@Dear Santa,Please send me a baby brother.Love, Bobby.Dear Bobby,"Send me your mother..."Love, SantaThe Power Of Shit(Click On Jack Schitt At the End)Just think of all the concepts and ideas you can communicatewith it. Shit may just be the most powerful word in theEnglish language.CONSIDER THIS:You can be shitfaced,be shit out of luck,or have shit for brains.With a little effort you can get your shit together,find a place for your shitor decide to shit or get off the pot.You can smoke shit,buy shit,sell shit,lose shit,find shit,forget shit,and tell others to eat shit and die.You can shit or go blind,have a shit fitor just shit your life away.People can be shit headed,shit brained,shit blinded,and shit over.Some people know their shitwhile others can't tell the difference between shit andshinola.There are lucky shits,dumb shits,crazy shits,and sweet shits.There is bull shit,horse shitand chicken shit.You can throw shit,sling shit,catch shit,or duck when the shit hits the fan.You can take a shit,give a shit,or serve shit on a shingle.You can find yourself in deep shit,or be happier than a pig in shit.Some days are colder than shit,some days are hotter than shit,and some days are just plain shitty.Some music sounds like shit,things can look like shit,and there are times when you feel like shit.You can have too much shit,not enough shit,the right shit,the wrong shitor a lot of weird shit.You can carry shit,have a mountain of shit,or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.Sometimes you really need this shitand sometimes you don't want any shit at all.Sometimes everything you touch turns to shitand other times you swim in a lake of shit and come outsmelling like a rose.Shit!When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basicbuilding block of creation.And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need toknow anything else.</blockquote>

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