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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063649464" data-attributes="member: 14320">A guy is walking past a bus stop and says to a woman ,"Can I smell your pussy?" "F*ck No, you can't smell my pussy!" the woman yells back at him. "Oh." he replies, looking slightly confused, "it must be your feet then."****Q: Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple?A: Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.Q: Why did God give women multiple orgasms?A: So they can fucking moan when they're happy, too.Why did God give women nipples?To make suckers out of men.Q: Why are pubic hairs curly?A: So you don't poke your eye out.Q. Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?A. Because she blows the horn!What's the difference between a woman and a volcano?A volcano never fakes an eruption.Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?Every time she gets to 69 she gets a frog in her throat.Q) Why are clams like women?A) Because when the red tide comes you don't eat them.When is a pixie not a pixie?When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a goblin'.Q: When do you know a man is desperate ?A: When he practices yoga just so he can give himself head.Why are condoms transparent?So the sperm can enjoy the scenery Why are cowgirls bowlegged?Cowboys like to eat with their hats on.Q. What's the height of conceit?A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.Q. What's the difference between sin and shame?A. It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.Q. What's the difference between parsley and pussy?A. Nobody eats parsley.********"No bananas," she said, with a sigh,And a tear trickled down from her eye."No cukes, no zucchinis,No Oscar Meyer weenies,I'll have to go find me a guy."Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep,And doesn't know where to find 'em...But a search revealed,They were out in the field,With Little Boy Blue behind 'em.---------- Post added at 06:18 PM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 12:18 PM ----------How Vibrators are Better Than Men!It's happy to keep going until we're satisfied.Vibrators don't prematurely ejaculateA vibrator doesn't have an orgasm first and then just stop "vibrating."They don't get tired after the first timeYou never have to lie to a vibrator by saying it was good or ... thatyou had an orgasm.Vibrators are never too busy watching the game on TV ... or Fishin'!Vibrators never go limp and rubbery, you simply replace the batterieswhen it tires.Batteries are cheaper than pick up trucks!!You can throw them in a drawer and only take them out when you want to!Vibrators don't hog the remote ... Nor the computer!!We can get a bigger one or one that has better options whenever we wantwithout being called a slut.Position is your choice, not his.You don't have to suck it.It works "while" the sports games are on.It always is hard.It doesn't leave a mess behind.You don't have to wear an ill fitting teddy to excite it.It doesn't care that you gained 10 lbs.It doesn't fall asleep and snore in your ear afterwards.You don't have to clean up the apartment before bringing it home.You don't have to cook it breakfast and pretend to be interested in itthe next morning.They never poke you in the back in the morning to see if you are in themood.They never drink too much and embarrass you.You don't have to tell the vibrator he's the best you ever had!Safe sex without a rubberVibrators don't ask who your Daddy isVibrators do what you want them to do at ALL times!Vibrators are portable so you can do it anytime anywhere you want!!They never ask how they were.They don't burp, fart, belch or fall asleep on you.You don't have to stroke its ego.They never wake up at 4 a.m. asking for another get-go.It doesn't leave a wet spot.You can carry it with you at all times, and not feel obligated to feedit.It doesn't require "a little lip action" to get hardIt has no problem finding the "g spot."You know exactly where its been.Vibrators don't care if you get crumbs in the bed.A couple batteries and you don't have to put up with the shit, just turn it off when you get done with it !As long as you have a new pack of energizers the vibrator can keep going and going and going! (while you keep coming and coming!)It doesn't have a mother!!You don't have to dress up for your vibrator. You can show it off to your friends.They never come before you do.</blockquote>

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