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JeSt fOr LaUgHs...
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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063642461" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">The Test</span></strong></p><p></p><p>An old sea captain, and a little guy who played the fiddle, were arguing</p><p>about women. The old sea captain tells the little fiddle player that</p><p>women can't be trusted, and they will not be faithful under any</p><p>circumstances.</p><p></p><p>The little fiddle player said well he bet his wife would not do anything</p><p>like that.</p><p>So, the old sea captain said he would bet his ship and cargo against the</p><p>fiddle player's violin that she would be unfaithful. The fiddle player</p><p>took the bet, and invited the sea captain over to his house, and sent</p><p>the two of them into the bedroom while he waited outside the door.</p><p></p><p>A half hour went by and he heard nothing from his wife, so he started</p><p>singing to the tune of Auld Lang Syne:</p><p></p><p>Be true, my love, be true my love,</p><p>It's only for an hour.</p><p>Don't screw, my love, don't screw, my love,</p><p>And the ship and cargo's ours.</p><p></p><p>She sang back to him:</p><p></p><p>Too late, my love, too late, my love,</p><p>He's got me round the middle,</p><p>He's screwed me once, he'll do it twice,</p><p>And you've lost your damned old fiddle!!!</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">====</span></strong></p><p>A couple were going at it in a barn down on the farm.</p><p>In the process, the condom slipped off.</p><p>The guy pokes around inside her with a couple straws and manages to</p><p>lose them too.</p><p>Nine months later the doctor enters the waiting room where the father</p><p>asks him what the baby is.</p><p>Doctor replies "It's a little bastard dressed in a raincoat and a straw</p><p>hat."</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">====</span></strong></p><p>Q: Why do women have two sets of lips?</p><p>A: One set to bitch at you with, and the other to apologize with.</p><p>Alternate answer: So they can piss and moan at the same time.</p><p></p><p>Q. Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch?</p><p>A. He's down to four butts a day.</p><p></p><p>Q. What do you call a hillbilly who owns sheep and goats.</p><p>A. Bisexual.</p><p></p><p>Q. What is the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease?</p><p>A. One is a cunning runt, and the other is a running cunt</p><p>Q. What do women and police cars have in common?</p><p>A. They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063642461, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]The Test[/COLOR][/B] An old sea captain, and a little guy who played the fiddle, were arguing about women. The old sea captain tells the little fiddle player that women can't be trusted, and they will not be faithful under any circumstances. The little fiddle player said well he bet his wife would not do anything like that. So, the old sea captain said he would bet his ship and cargo against the fiddle player's violin that she would be unfaithful. The fiddle player took the bet, and invited the sea captain over to his house, and sent the two of them into the bedroom while he waited outside the door. A half hour went by and he heard nothing from his wife, so he started singing to the tune of Auld Lang Syne: Be true, my love, be true my love, It's only for an hour. Don't screw, my love, don't screw, my love, And the ship and cargo's ours. She sang back to him: Too late, my love, too late, my love, He's got me round the middle, He's screwed me once, he'll do it twice, And you've lost your damned old fiddle!!! [B][COLOR="Red"]====[/COLOR][/B] A couple were going at it in a barn down on the farm. In the process, the condom slipped off. The guy pokes around inside her with a couple straws and manages to lose them too. Nine months later the doctor enters the waiting room where the father asks him what the baby is. Doctor replies "It's a little bastard dressed in a raincoat and a straw hat." [B][COLOR="Red"]====[/COLOR][/B] Q: Why do women have two sets of lips? A: One set to bitch at you with, and the other to apologize with. Alternate answer: So they can piss and moan at the same time. Q. Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch? A. He's down to four butts a day. Q. What do you call a hillbilly who owns sheep and goats. A. Bisexual. Q. What is the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease? A. One is a cunning runt, and the other is a running cunt Q. What do women and police cars have in common? A. They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming. [/QUOTE]
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