Menu
Home
Post Something
Forums
Current Activity
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
Latest activity
News & Features
The Marketplace
Cars for Sale
Engine and Performance
Chassis and Wheels
Exterior and Body
Interior and Cockpit
ICE - In Car Entertainment
Car Shops and Services
Toys and Wares
All Other Stuff
Jobs and Vacancies
Looking For
Members
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
Current Activity
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Reply to thread
See what others are reading now! Try Forums >
Current Activity
Home
Forums
Main Forums
General Talk
JeSt fOr LaUgHs...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Black06" data-source="post: 1063611780" data-attributes="member: 91035"><p>One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. </p><p>Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. </p><p>He asked one man 'Why are you eating grass?' </p><p>'We don't have any money for food,' the poor man replied 'We have to eat grass.' </p><p>'Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you', the lawyer said. </p><p>'But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree'. </p><p>'Bring them along,' the lawyer replied. </p><p>Turning to the other poor man he stated,'You come with us also.' </p><p>The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, 'But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!' </p><p>'Bring them all, as well,' the lawyer answered. </p><p>They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was. </p><p>Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, 'Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.' </p><p>The lawyer replied, 'Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 metre high!' </p><p>Lesson : Don't trust kind lawyers. (Also, don't send this to your good friend who is also a lawyer)!!<span style="color: Silver"></span></p><p><span style="color: Silver"></span></p><p><span style="color: Silver"><span style="font-size: 9px">---------- Post added at 01:40 AM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 01:39 AM ----------</span></span></p><p><span style="color: Silver"></span></p><p><span style="color: Silver"></span>ROMANTIC SMS</p><p></p><p></p><p>She sent the following message while waiting for her train:</p><p></p><p>My love</p><p></p><p>If you are sleeping, send me your dreams</p><p></p><p>If you are smiling, send me your smile</p><p></p><p>If you are crying, send me your tears</p><p></p><p>I love you</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>He replied:</p><p></p><p>I'm in the toilet. What do I send?<span style="color: Silver"></span></p><p><span style="color: Silver"></span></p><p><span style="color: Silver"><span style="font-size: 9px">---------- Post added at 01:43 AM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 01:40 AM ----------</span></span></p><p><span style="color: Silver"></span></p><p><span style="color: Silver"></span>A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.' He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, 'Jesus is watching you.' Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. ......................</p><p></p><p>Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. 'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot. 'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.' The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?' 'Moses,' replied the bird. 'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?' 'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus<span style="color: Silver"></span></p><p><span style="color: Silver"></span></p><p><span style="color: Silver"><span style="font-size: 9px">---------- Post added at 01:44 AM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 01:43 AM ----------</span></span></p><p><span style="color: Silver"></span></p><p><span style="color: Silver"></span>An elderly lady was invited to an old friend’s home for dinner one evening.</p><p>She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every request to her husband with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>While the husband was in the living room, her lady friend leaned over to her hostess to say, 'I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your husband all those loving names'.</p><p></p><p>The elderly lady hung her head. 'I have to tell you the truth,' she said, 'his name slipped my mind about 10 years ago, and I'm scared to death to ask the cranky old asshole what his name is.'<span style="color: Silver"></span></p><p><span style="color: Silver"></span></p><p><span style="color: Silver"><span style="font-size: 9px">---------- Post added at 01:45 AM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 01:44 AM ----------</span></span></p><p><span style="color: Silver"></span></p><p><span style="color: Silver"></span>University aspirants were asked to answer this:</p><p></p><p>"If a girl faints, we must first feel her pu_s_".</p><p></p><p>*Those who write 'Pulse' become doctors.</p><p></p><p>*Those who answer 'Purse' become investment bankers, lawyers and professional thieves.</p><p></p><p>The rest are considered normal, and good enough to go straight into adult life....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Black06, post: 1063611780, member: 91035"] One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man 'Why are you eating grass?' 'We don't have any money for food,' the poor man replied 'We have to eat grass.' 'Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you', the lawyer said. 'But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree'. 'Bring them along,' the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated,'You come with us also.' The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, 'But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!' 'Bring them all, as well,' the lawyer answered. They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, 'Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.' The lawyer replied, 'Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 metre high!' Lesson : Don't trust kind lawyers. (Also, don't send this to your good friend who is also a lawyer)!![COLOR="Silver"] [SIZE=1]---------- Post added at 01:40 AM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 01:39 AM ----------[/SIZE] [/COLOR]ROMANTIC SMS She sent the following message while waiting for her train: My love If you are sleeping, send me your dreams If you are smiling, send me your smile If you are crying, send me your tears I love you He replied: I'm in the toilet. What do I send?[COLOR="Silver"] [SIZE=1]---------- Post added at 01:43 AM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 01:40 AM ----------[/SIZE] [/COLOR]A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.' He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, 'Jesus is watching you.' Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. ...................... Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. 'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot. 'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.' The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?' 'Moses,' replied the bird. 'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?' 'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus[COLOR="Silver"] [SIZE=1]---------- Post added at 01:44 AM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 01:43 AM ----------[/SIZE] [/COLOR]An elderly lady was invited to an old friend’s home for dinner one evening. She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every request to her husband with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love. While the husband was in the living room, her lady friend leaned over to her hostess to say, 'I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your husband all those loving names'. The elderly lady hung her head. 'I have to tell you the truth,' she said, 'his name slipped my mind about 10 years ago, and I'm scared to death to ask the cranky old asshole what his name is.'[COLOR="Silver"] [SIZE=1]---------- Post added at 01:45 AM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 01:44 AM ----------[/SIZE] [/COLOR]University aspirants were asked to answer this: "If a girl faints, we must first feel her pu_s_". *Those who write 'Pulse' become doctors. *Those who answer 'Purse' become investment bankers, lawyers and professional thieves. The rest are considered normal, and good enough to go straight into adult life.... [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
The Marketplace Latest
original rare Yokohama ADVAN Racing TC4 18x8.5...
Started by
david tao
Chassis and Wheels
original rare Rays Volk Racing ZE40 17x9jj offset...
Started by
david tao
Chassis and Wheels
original rare Rays Volk Racing INGS TS06 18x8jj...
Started by
david tao
Chassis and Wheels
New original Defi Advance A1 NA package triple...
Started by
david tao
Engine and Performance
original rare Rays Volk Racing CE28 16x7jj offset...
Started by
david tao
Chassis and Wheels
Honda Jazz/Fit JSracing GTwing Spoiler
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
Toyota Vios NCP93 front bonnet hood
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
Honda civic fc varis spoiler
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
BMW F10 Msport front bumper set
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
BMW F30 M3/GTS front bonnet hood
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
Posts refresh every 5 minutes
Evo VI RS (Concours) - The Holy Grail
how often you guys will seing this perfect showroom & pristine condition Evo VI RS around? with 10k miles, now its up for sale (25k pound)
http://www.lancerregister.com/showthread.php?t=345774
Cheers! :driver...
Air cond issue
Just got back from a 3 days work visit in JB, and there's an issue with my aircond:
During normal city driving or idling, the air cond works fine and cold. However, when I drive on the highway at constant high speed...
R33 Parts For Sale
Gentlemen,
I have the following parts for sale taken out from as R33 RB25DET halfcut.
Parts are in good condition.
1) Brake Servo complete set -RM 300
2) RB25DET 4 pot front disk brake set- complete with lower...
Recent Posts
Darker Design : Mercedes-Benz Launches GLA Nightfall Edition in Malaysia
Started by
The_Mechanic
News and Features
Honda Malaysia Doubles Down on Hybrids: New CR-V Launches with Dual e:HEV...
Started by
The_Mechanic
News and Features
BateriHub Reaches 200-Store Milestone, Becomes Malaysia’s Largest...
Started by
The_Mechanic
News and Features
Been stalking for 3 years edy
Started by
dheepadarshan95
Introduction and Newbies
Recommendation: Turbocharger for 4B11 N.A engine
Started by
Mitevo7
Car Modification
Search
Online now
Enjoying Zerotohundred?
Log-in
for an ad-less experience
Home
Forums
Main Forums
General Talk
JeSt fOr LaUgHs...
