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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063586536" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Crash Landing</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced</p><p>" Please prepare for a crash landing ".</p><p>The first lady put on all her jewelry . Surprised by this the other</p><p>ladies questioned her actions.</p><p>The first lady replied, well when they come to rescue us they will see</p><p>that I am rich and will rescue me first.</p><p>The second lady not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her</p><p>top and bra. Why are you doing that the other ladies questioned, well</p><p>when they come to rescue us they will see my great tits and will take</p><p>me first.</p><p>The third lady who was African not wanting to be out done took off her</p><p>pants and panties.</p><p>Why are you doing that the other ladies questioned,</p><p>well they always search for the black box first.</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">uuuuu</span></strong></p><p>There was a guy from Nantucket</p><p>He told his wife to suck it</p><p>When he didn't cum</p><p>She said he was dumb</p><p>And hit him upside the head with a bucket.</p><p></p><p>There once was a man named Vic</p><p>Who pleasured himself with a stick</p><p>He once got it stuck</p><p>And said "what the fuck?"</p><p>And now there's no room for a prick!</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">uuuuu</span></strong></p><p>One day a little boy walked in on his parents doing it and asked what they were doing. The parents' reply was that they were making fish sticks. So the little boy left it at that.</p><p>A few nights later the little boy walks in on them again, and this time he asks, "Are you making fish sticks again?" The parents both reply yes.</p><p></p><p>The boy remarks, "Well, mom, you have a little tartar sauce on your mouth. </p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Men Are Just Happier People--</span></strong></p><p></p><p>`What do you expect from such simple creatures?</p><p>`Your last name stays put.</p><p>`The garage is all yours.</p><p>`Wedding plans take care of themselves.</p><p>`Chocolate is just another snack.</p><p>`You can be President.</p><p>`You can never be pregnant.</p><p>`You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.</p><p>`You can wear NO shirt to a water park.</p><p>`Car mechanics tell you the truth.</p><p>`The world is your urinal.</p><p>`You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.</p><p>`You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.</p><p>`Same work, more pay.</p><p>`Wrinkles add character.</p><p>`Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.</p><p>`People never stare at your chest when you're talking to</p><p>them.</p><p>`The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.</p><p>'New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.</p><p>`One mood all the time.</p><p>`Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.</p><p>`You know stuff about tanks.</p><p>`A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.</p><p>`You can open all your own jars.</p><p>`You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.</p><p>`If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.</p><p>`Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.</p><p>`Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.</p><p>`You almost never have strap problems in public.</p><p>`You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.</p><p>`Everything on your face stays its original color.</p><p>`The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.</p><p>`You only have to shave your face and neck.</p><p>`You can play with toys all your life.</p><p>`Your belly usually hides your big hips.</p><p>`One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.</p><p>`You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.</p><p>`You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.</p><p>`You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.</p><p>`You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.</p><p>`No wonder men are happier."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063586536, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Crash Landing[/COLOR][/B] Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced " Please prepare for a crash landing ". The first lady put on all her jewelry . Surprised by this the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, well when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first. The second lady not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. Why are you doing that the other ladies questioned, well when they come to rescue us they will see my great tits and will take me first. The third lady who was African not wanting to be out done took off her pants and panties. Why are you doing that the other ladies questioned, well they always search for the black box first. [B][COLOR="Red"]uuuuu[/COLOR][/B] There was a guy from Nantucket He told his wife to suck it When he didn't cum She said he was dumb And hit him upside the head with a bucket. There once was a man named Vic Who pleasured himself with a stick He once got it stuck And said "what the fuck?" And now there's no room for a prick! [B][COLOR="Red"]uuuuu[/COLOR][/B] One day a little boy walked in on his parents doing it and asked what they were doing. The parents' reply was that they were making fish sticks. So the little boy left it at that. A few nights later the little boy walks in on them again, and this time he asks, "Are you making fish sticks again?" The parents both reply yes. The boy remarks, "Well, mom, you have a little tartar sauce on your mouth. [B][COLOR="Teal"]Men Are Just Happier People--[/COLOR][/B] `What do you expect from such simple creatures? `Your last name stays put. `The garage is all yours. `Wedding plans take care of themselves. `Chocolate is just another snack. `You can be President. `You can never be pregnant. `You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. `You can wear NO shirt to a water park. `Car mechanics tell you the truth. `The world is your urinal. `You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. `You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. `Same work, more pay. `Wrinkles add character. `Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. `People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. `The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. 'New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. `One mood all the time. `Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. `You know stuff about tanks. `A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. `You can open all your own jars. `You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. `If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. `Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. `Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. `You almost never have strap problems in public. `You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. `Everything on your face stays its original color. `The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. `You only have to shave your face and neck. `You can play with toys all your life. `Your belly usually hides your big hips. `One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. `You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. `You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. `You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. `You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. `No wonder men are happier." [/QUOTE]
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