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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063586536" data-attributes="member: 14320">Crash LandingThree ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced" Please prepare for a crash landing ".The first lady put on all her jewelry . Surprised by this the otherladies questioned her actions.The first lady replied, well when they come to rescue us they will seethat I am rich and will rescue me first.The second lady not wanting to be left behind, began to take off hertop and bra. Why are you doing that the other ladies questioned, wellwhen they come to rescue us they will see my great tits and will takeme first.The third lady who was African not wanting to be out done took off herpants and panties.Why are you doing that the other ladies questioned,well they always search for the black box first.uuuuuThere was a guy from NantucketHe told his wife to suck itWhen he didn't cumShe said he was dumbAnd hit him upside the head with a bucket.There once was a man named VicWho pleasured himself with a stickHe once got it stuckAnd said "what the fuck?"And now there's no room for a prick!uuuuuOne day a little boy walked in on his parents doing it and asked what they were doing. The parents' reply was that they were making fish sticks. So the little boy left it at that.A few nights later the little boy walks in on them again, and this time he asks, "Are you making fish sticks again?" The parents both reply yes.The boy remarks, "Well, mom, you have a little tartar sauce on your mouth. Men Are Just Happier People--`What do you expect from such simple creatures?`Your last name stays put.`The garage is all yours.`Wedding plans take care of themselves.`Chocolate is just another snack.`You can be President.`You can never be pregnant.`You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.`You can wear NO shirt to a water park.`Car mechanics tell you the truth.`The world is your urinal.`You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.`You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.`Same work, more pay.`Wrinkles add character.`Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.`People never stare at your chest when you're talking tothem.`The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.'New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.`One mood all the time.`Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.`You know stuff about tanks.`A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.`You can open all your own jars.`You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.`If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.`Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.`Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.`You almost never have strap problems in public.`You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.`Everything on your face stays its original color.`The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.`You only have to shave your face and neck.`You can play with toys all your life.`Your belly usually hides your big hips.`One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.`You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.`You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.`You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.`You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.`No wonder men are happier."</blockquote>

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