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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063574843" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Johnny Go Deeper</span></strong></p><p></p><p>There was once a boy named Johnny Go Deeper. He attended a school where his father was the principal, his mother was the vice principal, and his sister was an administrator. He stayed after class when the bell rang to speak with his teacher, Mrs. Johnson.</p><p></p><p>He began the conversation by saying. "Mrs. Johnson, please take off your shirt".</p><p></p><p>Mrs. Johnson quickly replied "No Johnny, I'm not taking my shirt off".</p><p></p><p>So Johnny says "I'll tell my mother and my father and my sister and they'll fire you.</p><p></p><p>So Mrs. Johnson removed her shirt.</p><p></p><p>Then Johnny says "Mrs. Johnson, please take off your skirt".</p><p></p><p>Mrs. Johnson quickly replied "No Johnny, I'm not taking my skirt off".</p><p></p><p>So Johnny says "I'll tell my mother and my father and my sister and they'll fire you".</p><p></p><p>Mrs. Johnson then removed her skirt.</p><p></p><p>Then Johnny says "Mrs. Johnson, please take off your bra and panties".</p><p></p><p>Mrs. Johnson quickly replied "No Johnny, I'm not taking my bra and panties off".</p><p></p><p>So Johnny says "I'll tell my mother and my father and my sister and they'll fire you".</p><p></p><p>Mrs. Johnson then removed her bra and panties.</p><p></p><p>Then Johnny says "Mrs. Johnson, please lay on the table".</p><p></p><p>Mrs. Johnson quickly replied "No Johnny,I will not lay on the table".</p><p></p><p>So Johnny says "I'll tell my mother and my father and my sister and they'll fire you".</p><p></p><p>Mrs. Johnson lays on the table.</p><p></p><p>So Johnny jumped on top of her and proceeded to try to penetrate her.</p><p></p><p>All of a sudden his mother walks in and yells "JOHNNY GO DEEPER"</p><p></p><p>So Johnny replies "I'm trying, I'm trying".</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red"> ________</span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red"></span></strong></p><p>There was a young man from Calcutta,</p><p>Who peeped through a hole in a shutter,</p><p>But all he could see,</p><p>Was his wife's bare knee,</p><p>And the arse of the man who was up her.</p><p></p><p>I once met a girl called Miss Bish</p><p>Who had habits like tropical fish</p><p>She would fasten her lips</p><p>Close to ones hips</p><p>And swallow ones cum in small sips</p><p></p><p>There once was a clergyman's daughter,</p><p>Who detested the pony he bought her,</p><p>Till she found that his dong,</p><p>was as hard and as long,</p><p>As the prayers her father had tought her</p><p></p><p>She married a fellow named Tony,</p><p>Who soon caught her f***ing the pony,</p><p>He cried, "What's 'e got,</p><p>My dear, that I've not?!"</p><p>She sighed, "Just a yard long bologna."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Things Overheard At The STD Clinic </span></strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><em>The quotes below are complaints reported by clients of Room 111, a</em></strong></p><p><strong><em>public health clinic in St. Paul that treats people for Sexually</em></strong></p><p><strong><em>Transmitted Diseases. Nurses at the clinic began creating the list two</em></strong></p><p><strong><em>decades ago; it now includes several hundred comments.</em></strong></p><p></p><p>"I have reason to believe my penis was exposed to LSD. When I ejaculate</p><p>I have flashbacks."</p><p></p><p>"My hair is falling out and the sun hurts my crotch."</p><p></p><p>"I went to a party, had a few beers, woke up in a closet later on and</p><p>my</p><p>face stunk and my dick hurt."</p><p></p><p>"My last period looked like meat."</p><p></p><p>"My balls feel soft and mushy."</p><p></p><p>"I be messin' with these nasty women from Minnesota and they don't tell</p><p>you they got something unless they mad at you."</p><p></p><p>"How am I supposed to do lap dances smelling like a dead fish?"</p><p></p><p>"I got the dripper."</p><p></p><p>"I have food chunks in my urine."</p><p></p><p>"Had sex with my daughter's fiance and then douched with Lysol--feelin'</p><p>a little raw down there."</p><p></p><p>"Scabs on my butt and I'm losing my mind."</p><p></p><p>"I'm releasing semen when I take a crap."</p><p></p><p>"I was poked in the rectum with the infected finger of a 70-year-old</p><p>homosexual man."</p><p></p><p>"I live at the VA and my roommate has his girlfriend from Minneapolis</p><p>over. They throw ticks at me that bite my neck and when I pop the</p><p>sores,</p><p>they smell like vagina juice."</p><p></p><p>"Can't you put the swab in further?"</p><p></p><p>"I had sex with my baby's momma, sex with my other baby's momma and my</p><p>other new baby's momma has disease."</p><p></p><p>"Last time I had sex I passed something that looked like Cream of Wheat</p><p>before it's cooked."</p><p></p><p>"My cervix hurts when I jiggle."</p><p></p><p>"The seam in my circumcision split open."</p><p></p><p>"I be messin' with my ex-wife and my girlfriend and I don't trust</p><p>either</p><p>of them."</p><p></p><p>"My whole body smells like a menstruating woman, especially my</p><p>armpits."</p><p></p><p>"From the looks of my penis, I believe they are sucking the adrenaline</p><p>out of me."</p><p></p><p>"I think they hypnotized me and put implants and poltergeists in my</p><p>brain and had sex with me."</p><p></p><p>"I think my boyfriend knows what's going on. He's been calling me a</p><p>'chlamydiahoris.'"</p><p></p><p>"My pee smells like ham."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063574843, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Johnny Go Deeper[/COLOR][/B] There was once a boy named Johnny Go Deeper. He attended a school where his father was the principal, his mother was the vice principal, and his sister was an administrator. He stayed after class when the bell rang to speak with his teacher, Mrs. Johnson. He began the conversation by saying. "Mrs. Johnson, please take off your shirt". Mrs. Johnson quickly replied "No Johnny, I'm not taking my shirt off". So Johnny says "I'll tell my mother and my father and my sister and they'll fire you. So Mrs. Johnson removed her shirt. Then Johnny says "Mrs. Johnson, please take off your skirt". Mrs. Johnson quickly replied "No Johnny, I'm not taking my skirt off". So Johnny says "I'll tell my mother and my father and my sister and they'll fire you". Mrs. Johnson then removed her skirt. Then Johnny says "Mrs. Johnson, please take off your bra and panties". Mrs. Johnson quickly replied "No Johnny, I'm not taking my bra and panties off". So Johnny says "I'll tell my mother and my father and my sister and they'll fire you". Mrs. Johnson then removed her bra and panties. Then Johnny says "Mrs. Johnson, please lay on the table". Mrs. Johnson quickly replied "No Johnny,I will not lay on the table". So Johnny says "I'll tell my mother and my father and my sister and they'll fire you". Mrs. Johnson lays on the table. So Johnny jumped on top of her and proceeded to try to penetrate her. All of a sudden his mother walks in and yells "JOHNNY GO DEEPER" So Johnny replies "I'm trying, I'm trying". [B][COLOR="Red"] ________ [/COLOR][/B] There was a young man from Calcutta, Who peeped through a hole in a shutter, But all he could see, Was his wife's bare knee, And the arse of the man who was up her. I once met a girl called Miss Bish Who had habits like tropical fish She would fasten her lips Close to ones hips And swallow ones cum in small sips There once was a clergyman's daughter, Who detested the pony he bought her, Till she found that his dong, was as hard and as long, As the prayers her father had tought her She married a fellow named Tony, Who soon caught her f***ing the pony, He cried, "What's 'e got, My dear, that I've not?!" She sighed, "Just a yard long bologna." [B][COLOR="Teal"]Things Overheard At The STD Clinic [/COLOR] [I]The quotes below are complaints reported by clients of Room 111, a public health clinic in St. Paul that treats people for Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Nurses at the clinic began creating the list two decades ago; it now includes several hundred comments.[/I][/B] "I have reason to believe my penis was exposed to LSD. When I ejaculate I have flashbacks." "My hair is falling out and the sun hurts my crotch." "I went to a party, had a few beers, woke up in a closet later on and my face stunk and my dick hurt." "My last period looked like meat." "My balls feel soft and mushy." "I be messin' with these nasty women from Minnesota and they don't tell you they got something unless they mad at you." "How am I supposed to do lap dances smelling like a dead fish?" "I got the dripper." "I have food chunks in my urine." "Had sex with my daughter's fiance and then douched with Lysol--feelin' a little raw down there." "Scabs on my butt and I'm losing my mind." "I'm releasing semen when I take a crap." "I was poked in the rectum with the infected finger of a 70-year-old homosexual man." "I live at the VA and my roommate has his girlfriend from Minneapolis over. They throw ticks at me that bite my neck and when I pop the sores, they smell like vagina juice." "Can't you put the swab in further?" "I had sex with my baby's momma, sex with my other baby's momma and my other new baby's momma has disease." "Last time I had sex I passed something that looked like Cream of Wheat before it's cooked." "My cervix hurts when I jiggle." "The seam in my circumcision split open." "I be messin' with my ex-wife and my girlfriend and I don't trust either of them." "My whole body smells like a menstruating woman, especially my armpits." "From the looks of my penis, I believe they are sucking the adrenaline out of me." "I think they hypnotized me and put implants and poltergeists in my brain and had sex with me." "I think my boyfriend knows what's going on. He's been calling me a 'chlamydiahoris.'" "My pee smells like ham." [/QUOTE]
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