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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063555721" data-attributes="member: 14320">Bubba And Billy BobBubba and Billy Bob are walking along the street in Atlanta, and see a sign on a store window which reads,"Suits: $5.00 each, Shirts: $2.00 each, Slacks: $2.50 each.Bubba says to his pal, "Billy Bob, look here. We could buy a whole gob of these and take them back to Sand Mountain, sell 'emto our friends and make a small fortune. Just let me do the talkin' 'cuz if they hear your accent, they might think we're ignorantand won't sell that stuff to us. Now I'll talk in a real slow Georgian drawl so;s they don't know that we is from Alabama."They go in and Bubba says with his best fake Georgia drawl, "I'll take 50 of them suits at $5.00 each, 100 of them there shirts at $2.00 each, 50 pairs of them there trousers at $2.50 each. I'll back up my pickup and..."The owner of the shop interrupts, "Ya'll from South Alabama, ain't ya?""Well...yeah," says a surprised Bubba...."How come you knowed that?""Because this is a dry cleaners"==========A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had nolessons, nor prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted, and thehorse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady andrhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slide from the saddle.In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firmgrip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slidesdown the horse's side anyway. The horse gallops along, seeminglyimpervious to its slipping rider.Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away fromthe horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has becomeentangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse's poundinghooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away fromunconsciousness when to her great fortune... Frank, the Walmart greeter,sees her dilemma and unplugs the horse.And you thought all they did was say Hello.Dear Wife, Dear HusbandA 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening that reads:Dear Wife (that's what he called her): I am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old secretary. When he arrived at the hotel there was a letter waiting for him that read as follows:Dear Husband (that's what she called him): I too am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with my handsome and virile 18 year old toy boy.You being an accountant will therefore appreciate that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18.~~~An exhibitionist named Joe was preparing to board a flight to Atlanta.As he approached the open door of the plane at the end of the jet way,a very attractive flight attendant was collecting boarding passes.As she reached down toward Joe for his boarding pass, he opened hisraincoat and exposed himself."I'm sorry sir" she said politely, "but you have to show your ticket, notyour stub."~~~There are two sides to every divorce:Yours and shithead's.~~~When you buy pussy you're not paying for sex, you're paying her to get the fuck out afterward.~~~They say..."Love thy neighbor as thy self." What am I supposed to do? Jerk him off too?~~~WHERE WOULD YOU BE IF:YOU HAVE ALL THE MONEY YOUR HEART DESIRESYOU HAVE NO WORRIES ...YOU COME HOME AND THE FINEST MEAL IS AWAITING YOU...YOUR BATHWATER HAS BEEN RUN...YOU HAVE THE PERFECT KIDS...YOUR PARTNER IS AWAITING YOU WITH OPEN ARMS AND KISSES...SO WHERE WOULD YOU BE...IN THE WRONG F**KING HOUSE!!!!!!!!!</blockquote>

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