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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063550479" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Dog's Day</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Three dogs are at the vet in the waiting room.</p><p></p><p>When the first dog asks the second dog what he's in for.</p><p></p><p>He answers, "My master bought a brand new carpet the other day, and at the first opportunity I soiled it, so now I've been brought here to be put to sleep. So what are you here for?"</p><p></p><p>The first dog replies grimly, "I'm also being put to sleep. My master had a table with a collection of expensive vases and while I was chasing my tail I accidentally bumped into the table and broke them all."</p><p></p><p>The two dogs then look over and ask the third dog what he's in for.</p><p></p><p>The third dog answers, "The reason I'm here is the other day my master stepped out of the shower and she bent over. I couldn't resist, so I jumped her from behind and took her like a wild animal!"</p><p></p><p>"So I guess you're also here to be put to sleep?" says the first dog.</p><p></p><p>The third dog answers, "Nope, I'm here to get my nails done."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported to have been listed in The Atlanta Journal.</span></strong></p><p></p><p>SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips,cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting...</p><p></p><p>Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week-old black Labrador retriever. (Men are so easy).</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Poems About Venus</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Was on the good ship Venus,</p><p>Lord, you should have seen us.</p><p>Our figurehead</p><p>Was a whore in bed</p><p>and the mast was a raging penis.</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~</span></strong></p><p>The Captain of our lugger</p><p>Was a filthy bugger.</p><p>He wasn't fit</p><p>To shovel shit</p><p>From one ship to another</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~</span></strong></p><p>The First Mate's name was Morgan</p><p>By God he was a gorgon</p><p>Five time a day</p><p>He'd kneel and play</p><p>The Captain's sekshal organ</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~</span></strong></p><p>The Second Mate was Andy.</p><p>He was young and randy.</p><p>They boiled his bum</p><p>In steaming rum</p><p>For cumming in the brandy</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~</span></strong></p><p>The ship's dogs name was Rover,</p><p>The crew they bowled him over.</p><p>They screwed that hound around and round</p><p>From Adelaide to Dover.</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~</span></strong></p><p>The Bos'n's name was Walker</p><p>He was a bleeding corker.</p><p>The dirty sod</p><p>Had been at quad</p><p>For dalliance with a porker</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~</span></strong></p><p>The cabin boy was Tripper</p><p>He was a deadly nipper</p><p>He stuffed his ass</p><p>With broken glass</p><p>And circumsized the skipper</p><p><span style="color: Red"><strong>~~~~</strong></span></p><p>The Captain's wife, named Mabel,</p><p>To fuck was never able.</p><p>So the dirty shits</p><p>Nailed her tits</p><p>Onto the chart room table</p><p><span style="color: Red"><strong>~~~~</strong></span></p><p>The Captain had a daughter</p><p>Who fell into the water.</p><p>Her squeals revealed</p><p>A school of eels</p><p>Had found her sekshal quarter</p><p><span style="color: Red"><strong>~~~~</strong></span></p><p>When we reached out station</p><p>We found to our elation</p><p>The ship had sunk</p><p>In a sea of spunk</p><p>From mutual masturbation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063550479, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Dog's Day[/COLOR][/B] Three dogs are at the vet in the waiting room. When the first dog asks the second dog what he's in for. He answers, "My master bought a brand new carpet the other day, and at the first opportunity I soiled it, so now I've been brought here to be put to sleep. So what are you here for?" The first dog replies grimly, "I'm also being put to sleep. My master had a table with a collection of expensive vases and while I was chasing my tail I accidentally bumped into the table and broke them all." The two dogs then look over and ask the third dog what he's in for. The third dog answers, "The reason I'm here is the other day my master stepped out of the shower and she bent over. I couldn't resist, so I jumped her from behind and took her like a wild animal!" "So I guess you're also here to be put to sleep?" says the first dog. The third dog answers, "Nope, I'm here to get my nails done." [B][COLOR="Teal"]This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported to have been listed in The Atlanta Journal.[/COLOR][/B] SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips,cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting... Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week-old black Labrador retriever. (Men are so easy). [B][COLOR="Teal"]Poems About Venus[/COLOR][/B] Was on the good ship Venus, Lord, you should have seen us. Our figurehead Was a whore in bed and the mast was a raging penis. [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~[/COLOR][/B] The Captain of our lugger Was a filthy bugger. He wasn't fit To shovel shit From one ship to another [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~[/COLOR][/B] The First Mate's name was Morgan By God he was a gorgon Five time a day He'd kneel and play The Captain's sekshal organ [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~[/COLOR][/B] The Second Mate was Andy. He was young and randy. They boiled his bum In steaming rum For cumming in the brandy [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~[/COLOR][/B] The ship's dogs name was Rover, The crew they bowled him over. They screwed that hound around and round From Adelaide to Dover. [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~[/COLOR][/B] The Bos'n's name was Walker He was a bleeding corker. The dirty sod Had been at quad For dalliance with a porker [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~[/COLOR][/B] The cabin boy was Tripper He was a deadly nipper He stuffed his ass With broken glass And circumsized the skipper [COLOR="Red"][B]~~~~[/B][/COLOR] The Captain's wife, named Mabel, To fuck was never able. So the dirty shits Nailed her tits Onto the chart room table [COLOR="Red"][B]~~~~[/B][/COLOR] The Captain had a daughter Who fell into the water. Her squeals revealed A school of eels Had found her sekshal quarter [COLOR="Red"][B]~~~~[/B][/COLOR] When we reached out station We found to our elation The ship had sunk In a sea of spunk From mutual masturbation. [/QUOTE]
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