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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063521968" data-attributes="member: 14320">Condom PromotionCover your stump before you hump.Before you attack her, wrap your wrapper.Don't be silly, protect your willy.When in doubt, shroud your spout.Don't be a loner, cover your boner.You can't go wrong if you shield your dong.If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it.If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey.If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize.She won't get sick if you wrap your dick.If you go into heat, package your meat.Especially in December, gift wrap your member.Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool.The right selection! Protect your erection.Wrap it in foil before checking her oil.If you really love her, wear a cover.Don't make a mistake! Muzzle your snake.Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener.Never deck her with an unwrapped pecker.If you can't shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket.No glove, No love.Don't be in such a jiffy, cover your stiffy.AIDS is no joke, be sure to wrap before you poke.$$$$$The manager hired a new secretary. she was young, sweet, and polite. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. While leaving the room, she courteously said, "Oh sir, did you know that your barracks door was open." He did not understand her remark, but later on happened to look down and saw that his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his new employee.Calling her in, he asked, "By the way, Miss Jones, when you saw my barracks door open this morning, did you also see a soldier standing at attention." The secretary, who was quite witty, replied, "Why, no sir, all I saw was a little disabled veteran, sitting on two duffel bags!"Senior's Sex Guide*Put on your glasses. Double check that your partner is actually in bed with you.*Set timer for 10 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.*Set the mood with lighting. Turn them ALL OFF!*Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.*Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.*Keep extra Poly grip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed.*Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.*Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf too.*If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.*Don't even think about trying it twice. *******Sue and Sally meet at their 30th class reunion, and they haven't seen each other since graduation.They begin to talk and bring each other up to date.The conversation covers their husbands, their children, homes, etc and finally gets around to their sex lives.Sue says "It's OK. We get it on every week or so but it's no big adventure, how's yours?"Sally replies "It's just great, ever since we got into S&M."Sue is aghast. "Really Sally, I never would have guessed that you would go for that.""Oh, sure," says Sally, "He snores while I masturbate."</blockquote>

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