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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063504617" data-attributes="member: 14320">Pussy WhippedThe husband had finally had enough of being Pussy-whipped. He burst through the door after work and yelled, " Here's the deal Woman. I want my dinner on the table in 15 minutes. Afterwards, we're going upstairs where you'll give me a great blowjob.Then while I'm in the shower, you'll lay out some clean clothes for me. Cause I'm going out on the town with the boys. And do you know who's gonna tie my fucking tie just the way I like it.""Yes Dear," she replied. "The undertaker."*~»§«~*~» «~*~»§«~* *~»§«~*~» «~*~»§«~* *~»§«~*~» «~*~»§«~* *~»How many Rednecks does it take to eat a meal? Two, One to eat andanother to watch for cars.~~~My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud.~~~They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it islove.........after marriage it is self-defense.*~»§«~*~» «~*~»§«~* *~»§«~*~» «~*~»§«~* *~»§«~*~» «~*~»§«~* *~»§You know You're A Redneck When . . .You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter.Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center.Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.You burn your yard rather than mow it.You think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive.The Salvation Army declines your mattress.You come back from the dump with more than you took.You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table. (oh ick!!!)Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.Your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.You've been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.</blockquote>