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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063490553" data-attributes="member: 14320">Learned New WordsTeacher: "Tell me a new word you learned during your vacation. Say theword, and then repeat it in a sentence. Mary, can you start?"Mary "Beautiful. My daddy bought me a beautiful new puppy"Teacher: "Very good Mary, now Timmy:Timmy: "Terrific. We went on a terrific holiday to the beach!"Teacher: "Very good Timmy, now Johnny, did you learn a new word?"Johnny: "Yes ma'am, the word is contagious."Teacher: "Very good Little Johnny, now, can you put 'contagious' in asentence?"Johnny: "Yes, miss. My Dad saw a lady painting a large barn byGrandpa's. He said 'It'll take that cunt-ages to paint that.'~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~A guy walks into a bar and says, "Oh god, I am so thirsty I could lickthe sweat of a cow's balls."A gay guy sitting on the end of the bar says "moooo"!!~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~Mary went to the doctor complaining of body odor."Do you wash?" the doc asked the rank young girl."Oh, yes," Mary answered. "Each morning, I start at my head and washdown as far as possible. Then I start at my feet and wash up as far upas possible.""Well," the doc concluded, "go home and wash possible."~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~REMEMBER...A PEACH IS A PEACH,A PLUM IS A PLUM,A KISS AIN'T A KISS,WITHOUT SOME TONGUE.SO OPEN YOUR MOUTH,AND CLOSE YOUR EYES---AND GIVE YOUR TONGUE...SOME EXERCISE!!!!!!!!!Q: Why is a pap smear called a pap smear?A: Because women wouldn't do them if they were called cunt scrapes.Pussies GaloreSHORTCHANGED PUSSY:When the woman is extremely sexy and beautiful. She moves the right wayand oozes sensuality. When it comes to sex, she has no clue. The verythought of stroking this Pussy can make you cum before its time. Shetalks a good game but Cannot walk the talk. Kissing her is likewatching a cartoon. When she tries to guide your dick into her pussy,she cuts it with her nails. By the time you get another boner, herpussy is dry and feels like sandpaper. By the time you get it in, you findout that your dick is too big for her short pussy. When you go to lickthe pussy you find out that it is a little tart and now you startthinking to yourself, "How can such a fine woman be so feeble?"Undaunted, you decide that you're going to make the best of a badsituation and get your rocks off when she says "Don't cum in me becauseI'm not taking anything."~~~~~SWEET LIPS:This is substitute pussy. She sucks major dick. She sucks it so goodthat your knees buckle. It was good enough to make you look forsomething to hold onto. She can suck the chrome off of a car's bumper.Then she slips your dick into her pussy and you realize that her mouthwas much better. You try to maneuver your dick back to her mouth any wayyou can. This time you find something to hold onto -- her head --because you now know that her Pussy is really a kitten and not yet readyfor prime time.~~~~~YES M'AM PUSSY:This is the kind of pussy your mother warned you about. This pussy isoften misjudged because of the owners meek mannerisms. She is quiet,reserved, caters to your every whim and shows no inkling of the treasurethat lies between her thighs. She seems to be a scholarly type but notquite prudish. You think to yourself, "I'm gonna tear this pussy up,"only to find that she was only playing possum. You were so caught offguard that your whole fuck plan needed instant revision. She was yourequal having as much game as you. You must give her propers realizingthat you came within a bat's eyelash of having your brains fucked out.Gentleman, be wary of this pussy and be prepared. Your best defense is agood offense and a long stiff thick dick with staying power.~~~~~THUNDER THIGHS PUSSY:(THE PUSSY YOU'RE GETTING FROM SOMEONE WHO IS NOT YOUR WOMAN)Men who have cheated on their woman temporarily can say, "AMEN" to thisclass of pussy. Men, this is the class of pussy that makes you cry andconfess to your woman you fucked someone else. The Thunder Thighs pussymade you want to tell somebody. Thunder Thighs pussy is in a class ofits own. Thunder Thighs pussy will make you look and feel differentabout the pussy you got at home. Thunder Thighs pussy makes you bustseveral nuts (i.e., multiple orgasms). Makes you cry and you have noclue to why. This pussy is so intense, when it is wrapped around yourdick it sends you into a trance. She has a smooth, undulating motion,constantly asks you if your comfortable, you started at 6PM and it isnow going on 9PM and she is not tired and her pussy ain't sloppy yet.She sucks on your dick as if she was a baby sucking on a pacifier, shesavors it like you're the main course meal. She sensuously flicks thehead of your dick with her tongue like a lollipop. By now you're inshock and forget about your woman. When you're back with your woman,you're wondering why she can't perform like Thunder Thighs pussy. Youeven have the nerve to get mad and then instruct her to do what Thunderthighs did to you.~~~~~THE STALKER PUSSY:This is the pussy that pisses you off the most. You see, the woman youboned for a fling or as a favor keeps coming back like a bad cold. Ifshe has a bad day at work, she "stalks your dick." If she has a badmeal, "she stalks your dick." If she has a bad hair day, she "stalksyour dick." If she sees an ex, she "stalks your dick." No what, she"stalks your dick." It is easy to tell if the woman you're with fallsinto this category. She always uses phrases like these when she isfucking you: "DON'T RUN FROM THIS PUSSY." "AIN'T THIS SOME SWEET PUSSY?""TELL ME YOU LIKE THIS PUSSY." "WHAT IS MY NAME?" "WHO'S DICK IS THIS?""TALK TO ME DADDY, I DON'T HEAR YOU TALKING SHIT NOW," and finally, "YOULIKE WHEN YOU IN THIS PUSSY AND WHIPPIN' IT!"~~~~~TUNA PUSSY:This is the pussy that you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. You canrecognize it easily because she may have cats swarming around her oreverybody at the local pub knows her name. When you walk into a room,you know she is there or was there. This is dangerous pussy. The problemis that the babe is fine and you ain't had no pussy in a long while. Thedog in you wants some pussy. You know that this pussy is experienced andcould put a hurt on you in more ways than one. This is the pussy youdon't want anyone to know you sampled. You DON'T EAT this pussy. Afteryou sample this pussy, you immediately take a shower or at the veryleast scrub your dick in the sink with some disinfectant.~~~~~WATERING HOLE PUSSY:This is good convenient pussy. Easy pussy. Pussy you can call when yourbody needs a fix. She gives you major head like SWEET LIPS PUSSY, andfucks you like THUNDER THIGHS PUSSY. Only thing is, you do not have awoman so you're not feeling guilty. Whenever you call, this pussy isready. Her pussy craves your dick. This pussy is available in any placeat anytime.~~~~~GODDAMN PUSSY:Men, now this is pussy that will definitely send you to hell if you'renot married to it. This pussy is just like YES M'AM PUSSY and THUNDERTHIGHS PUSSY. Her pussy is snug-not too tight-and juicy. She canaccommodate larger than average size dick. She has good control of herpussy muscles which can make any size dick feel at home. This pussymakes you numb, cry and pray all at the same time. While you are givingit to her doggy style or with you laying down and she sits on top ofyou, you look towards the heavens and say, "GODDAMN THIS IS SOME GOODPUSSY!!"~~~~~AMAZON PUSSY:Gentlemen, this is the gold mine pussy. This pussy is the pussy that youcommit yourself too. You do not cheat on it and you keep it a well keptsecret. In fact, you constantly crave and feign for this pussy. When youget this pussy, you go through convulsions. This is the pussy that makesyou READY even when you ain't. You call in sick from work for it. Thispussy is so major it is YES M'AM PUSSY, WATERING HOLE PUSSY, THUNDERTHIGHS PUSSY and GODDAMN PUSSY all in one. This is the pussy that youwant to put insurance on, just in case anything should happen to it.This pussy makes you stutter while, speaking and has you nervous for noreason!!!!</blockquote>

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