Reply to thread

See what others are reading now! Try Forums > Current Activity

Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063483271" data-attributes="member: 14320">Cruising Down The Highway A young couple was out cruising one evening.While driving down the highway, the guy says to the girl,"I know you love going fast!"If I go 100 miles an hour, will you take off all your clothes?""Yes!" she agrees and he begins to speed up.When the speedometer hits 100 she starts to strip.When she gets all her clothes off, he is so busy staring at her that he drivesoff the road and flips the car over. The girl is thrown clear without a scratchbut her clothes and her boyfriend are trapped in the car."Go get help," he pleads. She replies, "I can't, I'm naked."He points to his shoe that was thrown clear and says,"Cover your crotch with that and go get help from that gas station down the road."She takes the shoe, covers herself between the legs,and runs to the gas station down the road. When she arrives, she is frantic andyells to the attendant, "Help! Help! My boyfriend's stuck!" The attendant looksdown at the shoe covering her crotch and replies with astonishment,"I think it's too late . . . he's too far in!"__________Q: What's the main difference between mayonnaise and semen?A: Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty miles per hour.Q: Did you hear the one about the homosexual ghosts?A: They gave each other the willies.Daffyniton - Jell-O: Kool-Aid with a hardonQ: How can you get a faggot to fuck a female?A: Fill up her cunt with shit.Husband to wife: "When you die, I'm going to inscribe your tombstone: 'Here lies my wife...Cold as usual.'"Wife to husband: "When you die, I'm going to inscribe your tombstone: 'Here lies my husband...Stiff at last.'"Q: How does a man manage to keep his youth?A: By giving her money, furs, and diamonds.Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.Daffynition - Mistress: something in between a mister and a mattress.Q: How can you tell if it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?A: Look in your pants. If you have a dick, it's not time.Q: At what point does a priest need a prescription for viagra?A: When his altar boy class exceeds 10 members.> Funny Sexual PositionsAll The Sexual Positions That You Can Try With Your Special Someone Tonight!> Tea Bag: As you are sitting on a girl's face, repeatedly dip your scrotum in and out of her mouth>> Pancaking: After you have preformed the teabag, you sit and flop your nuts on and as far across the girl's face as possible. A.K.A. Ball sacking>> Angry Dragon: Immediately after you blow your load in a girls mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.>> Shocker: When fingering a girl with two fingers, very suddenly and without her knowing, bend your ring finger down to touch your thumb, and while the two fingers are still in her pussy, stick your pinky up her ass. Two in the pink, one in the stink.>> Smurf: Smurffing is when the guy takes his dick and flogs it onto the side of the girl's face.>> Dog In The Bathtub: You attempt to insert your cock and nuts into a girl's ass. Now, which is harder; getting the dog in the bath, or keeping the dog in?>> Dirty Sanchez: A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin shit mustache. Take that you dirty Mexican.>> Houdini: Wanna be a magician? First off start ramming the bitch from behind. When you are about to cum, announce that you're cumming. Pull out and hock a loogie on her back, and when she turns around to look at you, bust a nut right on her face.>> Bucking Bronco: You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her tits as tight as possible and yell another girls name. When she tries to get you off, see how long you can stay on this bucking bronco.>> The Donkey Punch: Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, you stick your dick in her ass, and then punch her in the back of the neck. The blow to the neck will stun the muscles in the female's ass, which will constrict and needless to say will make you cream everywhere.>> One Eyed Pirate: Blow your load in one of the bitch's eyes. While she tries to wipe it off, kick her in the shin. The desired effect is to get her hopping on one leg while holding the other, and covering one of her eyes with her free hand. She may even say "Argh!">> Popcorn Surprise: Not really a sex position, but something really funny to do. First when you and your bitch are at a movie theatre, tell her that you will buy the popcorn while she holds the seats. When you buy the popcorn, cut a hole in the bottom, so when you sit down you can carefully maneuver your schlong into the hole. When she reaches in for a handful or two, she will get a nice surprise. Everyone likes buttered popcorn.>> Flaming Pele: This is funny as shit. You start plugging the girl from behind. You reach around with a lighter and light her bush on fire and you kick her off the bed. Flaming Pele.>> Flying Camel: As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees. You very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still in her cunt. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl much like a flying camel. Strictly a classy move.>> Pearl Necklace: Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a girl. Give her some nice jewelry. Fuck that diamonds are forever shit.</blockquote>

Verification

The Marketplace Latest

original rare Rays Volk Racing CE28 16x7jj offset...
- Started by david tao
- Chassis and Wheels
Honda Jazz/Fit JSracing GTwing Spoiler
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Toyota Vios NCP93 front bonnet hood
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Honda civic fc varis spoiler
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
BMW F10 Msport front bumper set
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
BMW F30 M3/GTS front bonnet hood
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
BMW F10 vorsteiner rear bumper diffuser
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Mitsubishi Lancer Evo bodykit
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
BMW F30 M3 front skirt lip
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Honda Civic FC fk7si front bumper set
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body

Posts refresh every 5 minutes

looking for evo 8mr or 9

looking for evo 8mr or 9, anyone letting go evo?

FS: HKS GTRS Twin Turbo for BNR34 GTR

Hi there,

I have a pair of HKS GTRS Turbos to suit Skyline GTR for sale. These turbos are rated by HKS to support up to 400 PS each. These turbos have brand new catridge, so they are as good as new. They also come...

Extreme Nights - Coverage

Guys,

Some photos from Xtreme Nights. Enjoy!