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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063454840" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Jeff Foxworthy's Redneck Test</span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">You Might Be A Redneck If . . .</span></strong></p><p></p><p>. . . the highlight of your day is finding the prize in a Cracker Jack box.</p><p></p><p>. . . the auto junkyard calls you to get spare parts.</p><p></p><p>. . . you own a flamingo with buckshot holes in it.</p><p></p><p>. . . your third-grade class has a no-smoking section.</p><p></p><p>. . . your wife left you for last year’s winner of the hog-calling contest.</p><p></p><p>. . . your flashlight holds more than four batteries.</p><p></p><p>. . . it took the smartest kid in your 6th-grade class three times to pass his driving test.</p><p></p><p>. . . you cut your wedding cake with a chain saw.</p><p></p><p>. . . you cut your toenails in front of company.</p><p></p><p>. . . a woman says she’s game, so you shoot her.</p><p></p><p>. . . your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.</p><p></p><p>. . . you ask for the honeymoon suite at the Motel 6.</p><p></p><p>. . . you hear a siren and your first instinct is to hide. </p><p></p><p>. . . you use a bedsheet as a sofa cover.</p><p></p><p>. . . you use the shaving cream made for tough beards . . . and so does your husband.</p><p></p><p>. . . you regularly see kinfolks on “America’s Most Wanted.”</p><p></p><p>. . . you refuse to slide in softball because you don’t want to crush your cigarettes.</p><p></p><p>. . . the emergency room nurse knows everyone in your family by name.</p><p></p><p>. . . your car has more than two exhaust pipes.</p><p></p><p>. . . people come to your door mistakenly thinking you have an auto salvage business.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Penchant For Anal Sex</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told him that her</p><p>husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she was not sure</p><p>that it was such a good idea.</p><p></p><p>'Do you enjoy it?' The doctor asked.</p><p></p><p>'Actually, yes, I do.' ''Does it hurt you?' he asked. 'No. I</p><p>rather like it.' 'Well, then,' the doctor continued, 'there's no</p><p>reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you</p><p>like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.' The woman was</p><p>mystified. 'What? You can get pregnant from anal sex?' 'Of course,</p><p>' the doctor replied. 'Where do you think people like Sarah Palin</p><p>and Rush Limbaugh come from.'</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">_________________________________</span></strong></p><p></p><p>One day an old farmer fell asleep in the top level in a 2 level hay</p><p>shed. When he woke up, he found his son having sex with his</p><p>girlfriend on the bottom level of the hay shed. He decided he</p><p>wouldn't disturb them, so he laid down and rested. After a while he</p><p>heard his son say, "Father, father up above. Give me strength for</p><p>one last shove." So the father, being smart, replied, "Son, son down</p><p>below. Get off and give your father a go."</p><p><span style="color: Red"><strong>_________________________________</strong></span></p><p></p><p>There was a young fellow named Charteris</p><p>Put his hand where his young lady's garter is.</p><p>She said, "I don't mind,</p><p>And up higher you'll find</p><p>The place where my fucker and farter is."</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">_________________________________</span></strong></p><p></p><p>There was a young girl from Wick</p><p>Who said "mother what is a dick" ?</p><p>She said "my dear Annie"</p><p>It goes in your fanny</p><p>& jumps up and down till its sick</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063454840, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Jeff Foxworthy's Redneck Test You Might Be A Redneck If . . .[/COLOR][/B] . . . the highlight of your day is finding the prize in a Cracker Jack box. . . . the auto junkyard calls you to get spare parts. . . . you own a flamingo with buckshot holes in it. . . . your third-grade class has a no-smoking section. . . . your wife left you for last year’s winner of the hog-calling contest. . . . your flashlight holds more than four batteries. . . . it took the smartest kid in your 6th-grade class three times to pass his driving test. . . . you cut your wedding cake with a chain saw. . . . you cut your toenails in front of company. . . . a woman says she’s game, so you shoot her. . . . your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive. . . . you ask for the honeymoon suite at the Motel 6. . . . you hear a siren and your first instinct is to hide. . . . you use a bedsheet as a sofa cover. . . . you use the shaving cream made for tough beards . . . and so does your husband. . . . you regularly see kinfolks on “America’s Most Wanted.” . . . you refuse to slide in softball because you don’t want to crush your cigarettes. . . . the emergency room nurse knows everyone in your family by name. . . . your car has more than two exhaust pipes. . . . people come to your door mistakenly thinking you have an auto salvage business. [B][COLOR="Teal"]Penchant For Anal Sex[/COLOR][/B] A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she was not sure that it was such a good idea. 'Do you enjoy it?' The doctor asked. 'Actually, yes, I do.' ''Does it hurt you?' he asked. 'No. I rather like it.' 'Well, then,' the doctor continued, 'there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.' The woman was mystified. 'What? You can get pregnant from anal sex?' 'Of course, ' the doctor replied. 'Where do you think people like Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh come from.' [B][COLOR="Red"]_________________________________[/COLOR][/B] One day an old farmer fell asleep in the top level in a 2 level hay shed. When he woke up, he found his son having sex with his girlfriend on the bottom level of the hay shed. He decided he wouldn't disturb them, so he laid down and rested. After a while he heard his son say, "Father, father up above. Give me strength for one last shove." So the father, being smart, replied, "Son, son down below. Get off and give your father a go." [COLOR="Red"][B]_________________________________[/B][/COLOR] There was a young fellow named Charteris Put his hand where his young lady's garter is. She said, "I don't mind, And up higher you'll find The place where my fucker and farter is." [B][COLOR="Red"]_________________________________[/COLOR][/B] There was a young girl from Wick Who said "mother what is a dick" ? She said "my dear Annie" It goes in your fanny & jumps up and down till its sick [/QUOTE]
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