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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063454477" data-attributes="member: 14320">A Nun And A PriestA nun and a priest were traveling across the desert and realizedhalfway across that the camel they were using for transportation wasabout to die.They set up a make-shift camp, hoping someone would come to theirrescue, but to no avail. Soon the camel died.After several days of not being rescued, they agreed that they werenot going to be rescued. They prayed a lot (of course), and theydiscussed their predicament in great depth.Finally the priest said to the nun, "You know, Sister, I am about todie, and there's always been one thing I've wanted here on earth tosee a woman naked. Would you mind taking off your clothes so I canlook at you?"The nun thought about his request for several seconds and thenagreed to take off her clothes. As she was doing so, she remarked,"Well, Father, now that I think about it, I've never seen a mannaked, either.Would you mind taking off your clothes, too?"With little hesitation, the priest also stripped.Suddenly the nun exclaimed, "Father! What is that little thinghanging between your legs?"The priest patiently answered, "That, my child, is a gift from God.If I put it in you, it creates a new life.""Well," responded the nun, "forget about me. Stick it in the camelass and lets get the hell out of here!"________________________________There was a young fellow named SkinnerWho took a young lady to dinner.At a quarter to eightthey sat down and ate;And at twenty to nine it was in her.________________________________There was a young fellow named GluckWho found himself shit out of luck.Though he petted and wooed,When he tried to get screwedHe found virgins just don't give a fuck.The teacher says, "Okay, class, we're going to play a game today. I wanteveryone to give me a sentence with the word 'perhaps' in it." Claude says,"Perhaps if we are good, the teacher won't give us any homework." Theteacher says, "Very good, Claude." Mary says, "The sky is very dark...perhaps it's going to rain." The teacher says, "Very good, Mary." She callson Dirty Johnny in the back. "John?" Johnny says, "Yesterday, when I gothome from school, my sister and her music teacher both had their pantsdown to their ankles. Perhaps they were gonna shit on the piano."@@@Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply.If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you giveher a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries,she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll giveyou her heart.She multiplies and enlarges whateveris given to her. So bear that in mind - if you give her anycrap, she'll give you a ton of shit.{}{}{}{}{}What defines a truly sensitive, 2011's type guy?-He doesn't make his girlfriend blow him after he buttfucks her.Why is having a good shit better than sex?-Because you don't have to kiss it afterwards!Q: What do you call a 200 lb. woman who likes to screw men andwomen at the same time?A: A bisexual built for two.Q: What do you call a smiling Roman with pubic hair between his teeth?A: Gladiator.There was a young girl named Sapphire,Who succumbed to her lovers desire,She said "Its a sin, but now that its in,Could you shove it a few inches higher?"{}{}{}{}{}A WOMAN'S REFLECTION ON MENOPAUSE:My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings,bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be ableto monitor my moods.We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, itturns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big fuckingred dent on his forehead.Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.</blockquote>

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