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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063453419" data-attributes="member: 14320">Buy A Lesbian A DrinkA man walks into a bar and winks at a pretty girl at the other end "bartender", he says, "I'd like to buy that lady a drink.""Don't do it," the bartender says, "She's a lesbian.""You're crazy," he said, "She's beautiful and she winked back."So the bartender gives her the drink.A minute later she moves down and thanks the gentleman."Bartender," he says, "Give the lady another drink.""I'm warning you," the bartender says as he hands her the drink.After she finishes this drink she asks if he would like to see her breast."YES!!!" he says and the woman lifts her blouse.After the next drink, and another warning from the bartender, she takes his hand and asks, "Would you like to touch my ass?"The gentleman replies "OH, YES!!!, DEFINITELY!!!"So he sits with his hand on her bottom and asks for another drink.The bartender, thoroughly impressed by now and convinced he was wrong in his judgement obliges.After this she asks " Are you ready to taste a hot, wet, sweet pussy?""THANK YOU GOD!!!", the man exclaims, and then "YES!!!!!!!"At this the attractive lady grabs him by his tie pulls him close, kisses him and says, "Hope you enjoyed!">>>>>Mary: You'll love this story from my friend who works in the ER.Jill: What happened?Mary: A woman came in with a cell phone shoved up her rectum!Jill: You're kidding!Mary: I'm not. The woman said she and her husband were playing some"adult games."Jill: Well, it had to be either that, or she doesn't understand themeaning of phone sex>>>>>Do you ever miss the ex?Mary: OH! All the time! You wouldn't believe how much!Jill: Wow! I didn't think you cared about him at all.Mary: Wait a minute! Did you say "ex" or "sex"?>>>>>There was a young fellow named Simon,Who tried to discover a hymen,But he found every girl,Had relinquished her pearlIn exchange for a solitaire diamond.Did You Ever Stop To Wonder What Would Happen If Your Dog's Name Was Mypenis- Mypenis ate my homework.- Oh, no! Mypenis is frothing at the mouth!- Sorry I'm late. I was playing with Mypenis.- I'm sorry, Officer. I didn't realize I had to keep Mypenis on a leash.- Mypenis doesn't come when I call it.- Mypenis likes to crawl between the legs of guests.- I love giving Mypenis a bath.- At night, I sleep with Mypenis in my hands.- Mypenis likes it when people pet him.- Mypenis needs to get more exercise. He weighs over fifty pounds. --Playing with Mypenis really wears me out.- Would you like to see a picture of Mypenis?- Sometimes I wake up, and Mypenis is already active.- I think Mypenis has a mind of its own.- I keep a picture of Mypenis in my wallet.- Whenever I get lost, Mypenis points me in the right direction.- I think Mypenis is getting old because he won't get excited anymore. He just plays dead.- Mypenis got out last night. I think he's sleeping with the lady next door.- If Mypenis was a weinerdog, he would be long and hairy and hard to carry.- Mypenis loves to chase pussies in dark alleys.- Help! I can't find Mypenis!- Sorry to be driving so slow, officer, but I was looking for Mypenis.- Mypenis gets excited whenever the mailman comes.- Sorry to be driving so fast officer, but i was looking for mypenis- I have to take Mypenis to the hospital.- Oh. no! Something bit Mypenis!- Watch it or you'll step on Mypenis.- When Mypenis behaves well, he gets a bone.- Stop kicking Mypenis.- When riding in the car, Mypenis enjoys sticking his head out to be blown.- Mypenis is truly man's best friend.- Beware of Mypenis. He's carrying a disease.- People say Mypenis looks cute lying down, but even better when standing at attention.- Mypenis: the crotch-sniffer.- There's nothing like a well-trained bitch for Mypenis.- I've trained Mypenis to jump through hoops.- Mypenis always searches for an open hand under the dinner table. - Excuse me - I need a muzzle for Mypenis.yyyyyyyyAn ode to the holeThat never heals.The more you touch itThe better it feels.You can rub itAnd scrub itAnd brush it like hell,But you will never get ridOf that fucking fish smell.</blockquote>

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