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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063441943" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Gary And Martin</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Gary and Martin were standing at the urinals in a public lavatory, when</p><p></p><p>Gary glanced over and noticed that Martin's penis was twisted like a</p><p>corkscrew.</p><p></p><p>"Wow," Gary said. "I've never seen one like that before."</p><p></p><p>"Like what?" Martin said. "All twisted like a pig's tail," Gary said.</p><p></p><p>"Well, what's yours like?" Martin said.</p><p></p><p>"Straight, like normal," Gary said.</p><p></p><p>"I thought mine was normal until I saw yours," Martin said.</p><p></p><p>Gary finished what he was doing and started to give his old boy a</p><p>shakedown prior to putting it back in his pants.</p><p></p><p>"What did you do that for?" Martin said.</p><p></p><p>"Shaking off the excess drops," Gary said. "Like normal."</p><p></p><p>"&%$#@ !," Martin said. "And all these years I've been wringing it."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">:::::::::::</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Women believe if a pet cat strays, it's because of a lack of affection</p><p>at home.</p><p></p><p>Women believe if a pet dog strays, it's because of a lack of affection</p><p>at home.</p><p></p><p>Women believe if a woman strays, it's because of a lack of affection</p><p>at home.</p><p></p><p>Women believe if a man strays, it's because men are scum-sucking,</p><p>friggin assholes!</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">:::::::::::</span></strong></p><p></p><p>The Ideal Wife should be beautiful, but not so beautiful</p><p>that people think you married her only for her beauty.</p><p></p><p>And The Ideal Wife should be wealthy, but not so wealthy</p><p>that people think you married her only for her money.</p><p></p><p>And The Ideal Wife should be gentle, but not so gentle</p><p>that she can't suck a tennis ball through a fifty-foot</p><p>garden hose.</p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Penis Treatment</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Jack goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I'm having trouble getting my</p><p>penis erect. Can you help me?"</p><p></p><p>After a complete examination, the doctor tells Jack, "Well, the problem</p><p>with you is that the muscles around the base of your penis are damaged.</p><p>There's really nothing I can do for you unless you're willing to try an</p><p>experimental treatment."</p><p></p><p>Jack asks sadly, "What is this treatment?"</p><p></p><p>"Well," the doctor explains, "what we would do is take the muscles from</p><p>the trunk of a baby elephant and implant them in your penis."</p><p></p><p>Jack thinks about it silently, then says, "Well, the thought of going</p><p>through life without ever having sex again is too much, let's go for</p><p>it."</p><p></p><p>A few weeks after the operation Jack was given the green light to use</p><p>his improved equipment. He planned a romantic evening for his</p><p>girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in the city. In the</p><p>middle of dinner he felt a stirring between his legs that continued to the point</p><p>of being painful. To release the pressure Jack unzipped his fly. His</p><p>penis immediately sprung from his pants, went to the top of the table,</p><p>grabbed a roll and then returned to his pants.</p><p></p><p>His girlfriend was stunned at first but then said with a sly smile,</p><p>"That was incredible! Can you do it again?"</p><p></p><p>With his eyes watering, Jack replied, "Well, I guess so, but I don't</p><p>think I</p><p>can fit another roll up my ass."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">@@@</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and says that</p><p>her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible!" says the doctor.</p><p>"Show me."</p><p></p><p>The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left breast and screams,</p><p>then she pushes her elbow and screams in even more agony. She pushes</p><p>her knee and screams; likewise she pushes her ankle and screams. Everywhere</p><p>she touches makes her scream.</p><p></p><p>The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead, are you? "Well, no" she</p><p>says, "I'm actually a blonde."</p><p></p><p>"I thought so," the doctor says. "Your finger is broken.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063441943, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Gary And Martin[/COLOR][/B] Gary and Martin were standing at the urinals in a public lavatory, when Gary glanced over and noticed that Martin's penis was twisted like a corkscrew. "Wow," Gary said. "I've never seen one like that before." "Like what?" Martin said. "All twisted like a pig's tail," Gary said. "Well, what's yours like?" Martin said. "Straight, like normal," Gary said. "I thought mine was normal until I saw yours," Martin said. Gary finished what he was doing and started to give his old boy a shakedown prior to putting it back in his pants. "What did you do that for?" Martin said. "Shaking off the excess drops," Gary said. "Like normal." "&%$#@ !," Martin said. "And all these years I've been wringing it." [B][COLOR="Red"]:::::::::::[/COLOR][/B] Women believe if a pet cat strays, it's because of a lack of affection at home. Women believe if a pet dog strays, it's because of a lack of affection at home. Women believe if a woman strays, it's because of a lack of affection at home. Women believe if a man strays, it's because men are scum-sucking, friggin assholes! [B][COLOR="Red"]:::::::::::[/COLOR][/B] The Ideal Wife should be beautiful, but not so beautiful that people think you married her only for her beauty. And The Ideal Wife should be wealthy, but not so wealthy that people think you married her only for her money. And The Ideal Wife should be gentle, but not so gentle that she can't suck a tennis ball through a fifty-foot garden hose. [B][COLOR="Teal"] Penis Treatment[/COLOR][/B] Jack goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I'm having trouble getting my penis erect. Can you help me?" After a complete examination, the doctor tells Jack, "Well, the problem with you is that the muscles around the base of your penis are damaged. There's really nothing I can do for you unless you're willing to try an experimental treatment." Jack asks sadly, "What is this treatment?" "Well," the doctor explains, "what we would do is take the muscles from the trunk of a baby elephant and implant them in your penis." Jack thinks about it silently, then says, "Well, the thought of going through life without ever having sex again is too much, let's go for it." A few weeks after the operation Jack was given the green light to use his improved equipment. He planned a romantic evening for his girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in the city. In the middle of dinner he felt a stirring between his legs that continued to the point of being painful. To release the pressure Jack unzipped his fly. His penis immediately sprung from his pants, went to the top of the table, grabbed a roll and then returned to his pants. His girlfriend was stunned at first but then said with a sly smile, "That was incredible! Can you do it again?" With his eyes watering, Jack replied, "Well, I guess so, but I don't think I can fit another roll up my ass." [B][COLOR="Red"]@@@[/COLOR][/B] A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me." The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left breast and screams, then she pushes her elbow and screams in even more agony. She pushes her knee and screams; likewise she pushes her ankle and screams. Everywhere she touches makes her scream. The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead, are you? "Well, no" she says, "I'm actually a blonde." "I thought so," the doctor says. "Your finger is broken. [/QUOTE]
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