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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063437654" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Jack Daniels </span></strong></p><p></p><p>A man walked into the local tavern where he frequented, and when the bartender came over, he said, "I'd like to have three shots of Jack Daniels."</p><p>The bartender didn't question him, and brought him his 3 shots. One, two, three -- they disappeared! "Fill 'er up again," asked the man.</p><p>The bartender repeated the process, and so did the patron -- one, two, three -- they were gone! Well, Joe the Bartender didn't know WHAT to make of this. When the man asked for a third fillup, he said, "Buddy, seems like you got problems! Do you want to talk about 'em?"</p><p>The customer said, "Joe, I have a computer at home, and once a month -- maybe more -- I go to a porno website."</p><p>Joe, the bartender, said, "A lot of men do that -- but it doesn't make them drink like fish!"</p><p>"You don't understand," said the customer, "the one I went to today, I saw 3 gorgeous women!"</p><p>Joe said, "That's not unusual. A LOTTA lovely women on the Internet!"</p><p>The customer turned to Joe, with tears in his eyes. He said, "Have you ever been to a website, and the first three women you see are your daughter, your wife, and your MOTHER?"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">yyyyy</span></strong></p><p></p><p>The blonde says to her friend, "My boyfriend has the worst</p><p>dandruff."</p><p></p><p>Her friend says, "You should give him Head and Shoulders."</p><p></p><p>The blonde thinks for a minute and asks,</p><p>"How do you give shoulders?"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">yyyyy</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says: "Darling,</p><p>this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."</p><p>His wife is lying in bed and replies: "That's a sheep, you idiot."</p><p>The man says: "I wasn't talking to you."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">yyyyy</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Little Susie came home from public school and asked her mother, "Where</p><p>did Little Billy next door come from?"</p><p>"The stork brought him, dear."</p><p>"Oh. Where did the twins on the corner come from?"</p><p>"They were brought by the stork. Two storks, in their case."</p><p>"Shit!" Little Susie said, "Doesn't anybody in this neighborhood fuck?"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Differences Between Lesbians And Dikes</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A lesbian buys real estate.</p><p>A dyke rents.</p><p></p><p>A lesbian drinks out of a glass.</p><p>A dyke pops a top.</p><p></p><p>A dyke owns a Harley.</p><p>A lesbian owns a 10 speed Schwinn.</p><p></p><p>A dyke's tattoos don't rub off.</p><p>A lesbian's don't show.</p><p></p><p>A lesbian brunches.</p><p>A dyke drives-through.</p><p></p><p>A lesbian has acquaintances.</p><p>A dyke has buddies.</p><p></p><p>A dyke buys 'Hustler' over the counter.</p><p>A lesbian has a subscription.</p><p></p><p>None of a lesbian's earrings are made from parts of her tool box.</p><p></p><p>A lesbian drives a Porsche.</p><p>A dyke commands a pick-up.</p><p></p><p>A lesbian has her ears pierced.</p><p>A dyke goes further. Way further!</p><p></p><p>A dyke can actually use the word dildo 15 to 20 times a day.</p><p></p><p>A lesbian passes gas.</p><p>A dyke farts.</p><p></p><p>A lesbian cooks.</p><p>A dyke defrosts.</p><p></p><p>A dyke makes dinner.</p><p>A lesbian makes reservations.</p><p></p><p>A lesbian entertains at home.</p><p>A dyke has a regular bar stool.</p><p></p><p>A lesbian networks, and chats.</p><p>A dyke shows up.</p><p></p><p>A dyke has a tool belt.</p><p>A lesbian has a tooled belt.</p><p></p><p>A dyke believes she looks great in an six dollar haircut.</p><p></p><p>A dyke will drink from any hose.</p><p>A lesbian carries her own Evian.</p><p></p><p>A dyke plays softball.</p><p>A lesbian plays hardball.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">@@@@@</span></strong></p><p></p><p>There was an auto race from San Francisco to Miami between a car</p><p>load of fags and a car load of lesbians. Who arrived in Miami first?</p><p>The lesbians did. They "headed" down highway 69 doing lickitty split</p><p>while the fags were still in San Francisco packing their shit!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063437654, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Jack Daniels [/COLOR][/B] A man walked into the local tavern where he frequented, and when the bartender came over, he said, "I'd like to have three shots of Jack Daniels." The bartender didn't question him, and brought him his 3 shots. One, two, three -- they disappeared! "Fill 'er up again," asked the man. The bartender repeated the process, and so did the patron -- one, two, three -- they were gone! Well, Joe the Bartender didn't know WHAT to make of this. When the man asked for a third fillup, he said, "Buddy, seems like you got problems! Do you want to talk about 'em?" The customer said, "Joe, I have a computer at home, and once a month -- maybe more -- I go to a porno website." Joe, the bartender, said, "A lot of men do that -- but it doesn't make them drink like fish!" "You don't understand," said the customer, "the one I went to today, I saw 3 gorgeous women!" Joe said, "That's not unusual. A LOTTA lovely women on the Internet!" The customer turned to Joe, with tears in his eyes. He said, "Have you ever been to a website, and the first three women you see are your daughter, your wife, and your MOTHER?" [B][COLOR="Red"]yyyyy[/COLOR][/B] The blonde says to her friend, "My boyfriend has the worst dandruff." Her friend says, "You should give him Head and Shoulders." The blonde thinks for a minute and asks, "How do you give shoulders?" [B][COLOR="Red"]yyyyy[/COLOR][/B] A man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says: "Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache." His wife is lying in bed and replies: "That's a sheep, you idiot." The man says: "I wasn't talking to you." [B][COLOR="Red"]yyyyy[/COLOR][/B] Little Susie came home from public school and asked her mother, "Where did Little Billy next door come from?" "The stork brought him, dear." "Oh. Where did the twins on the corner come from?" "They were brought by the stork. Two storks, in their case." "Shit!" Little Susie said, "Doesn't anybody in this neighborhood fuck?" [B][COLOR="Teal"]Differences Between Lesbians And Dikes[/COLOR][/B] A lesbian buys real estate. A dyke rents. A lesbian drinks out of a glass. A dyke pops a top. A dyke owns a Harley. A lesbian owns a 10 speed Schwinn. A dyke's tattoos don't rub off. A lesbian's don't show. A lesbian brunches. A dyke drives-through. A lesbian has acquaintances. A dyke has buddies. A dyke buys 'Hustler' over the counter. A lesbian has a subscription. None of a lesbian's earrings are made from parts of her tool box. A lesbian drives a Porsche. A dyke commands a pick-up. A lesbian has her ears pierced. A dyke goes further. Way further! A dyke can actually use the word dildo 15 to 20 times a day. A lesbian passes gas. A dyke farts. A lesbian cooks. A dyke defrosts. A dyke makes dinner. A lesbian makes reservations. A lesbian entertains at home. A dyke has a regular bar stool. A lesbian networks, and chats. A dyke shows up. A dyke has a tool belt. A lesbian has a tooled belt. A dyke believes she looks great in an six dollar haircut. A dyke will drink from any hose. A lesbian carries her own Evian. A dyke plays softball. A lesbian plays hardball. [B][COLOR="Red"]@@@@@[/COLOR][/B] There was an auto race from San Francisco to Miami between a car load of fags and a car load of lesbians. Who arrived in Miami first? The lesbians did. They "headed" down highway 69 doing lickitty split while the fags were still in San Francisco packing their shit! [/QUOTE]
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