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JeSt fOr LaUgHs...
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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063432960" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Reasons Masturbation Is Better Than Real Sex</span></strong></p><p></p><p>1. Your hand always lets you finish first.</p><p>2. It's free.</p><p>3. Same reason my Chevy is better than a Ferrari: It's all I can get.</p><p>4. You call the position.</p><p>5. "Premature ejaculation"? hehehe</p><p>6. No weird looks when you pull out the peanut butter.</p><p>7. Your privates are your best friend.</p><p>8. Your girlfriend is just a piece of skin that you have sex with.</p><p>9. Gives a single man good reason to wash his socks.</p><p>10. Easier to join their "Mile High Club."</p><p>11. You get to scream out your own name.</p><p>12. Peeing is considered foreplay.</p><p>13. Nobody ever says, "Why is it all green and wrinkly?"</p><p>14. You'll never have two women, but you'll always have two HANDS!</p><p>15. Four words: "Brad Pitt hand puppet."</p><p>16. You can do it and play Interactive Top Ten at the same time.</p><p>17. Don't have to clean up fur afterwards.</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">=======</span></strong></p><p>A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer</p><p>hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to</p><p>their house, and found his mother in the kitchen</p><p>cooking dinner. He sat down at the kitchen table,</p><p>let out a big sigh, and said, "Mom, I have</p><p>something to tell you: I'm gay."</p><p></p><p>His mother made no reply or gave any response,</p><p>and the guy was about to repeat it to make sure</p><p>she'd heard him, when she turned away from the</p><p>pot she was stirring and said calmly, "You're gay --</p><p>doesn't that mean you put other men's penises in</p><p>your mouth?"</p><p></p><p>The guy said nervously, "Uh, yeah, Mom, that's right."</p><p></p><p>His mother went back to stirring the pot, then</p><p>suddenly whirled around, whacked him over the</p><p>head with her spoon and said, "Don't you EVER</p><p>complain about my cooking again!!!"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063432960, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Reasons Masturbation Is Better Than Real Sex[/COLOR][/B] 1. Your hand always lets you finish first. 2. It's free. 3. Same reason my Chevy is better than a Ferrari: It's all I can get. 4. You call the position. 5. "Premature ejaculation"? hehehe 6. No weird looks when you pull out the peanut butter. 7. Your privates are your best friend. 8. Your girlfriend is just a piece of skin that you have sex with. 9. Gives a single man good reason to wash his socks. 10. Easier to join their "Mile High Club." 11. You get to scream out your own name. 12. Peeing is considered foreplay. 13. Nobody ever says, "Why is it all green and wrinkly?" 14. You'll never have two women, but you'll always have two HANDS! 15. Four words: "Brad Pitt hand puppet." 16. You can do it and play Interactive Top Ten at the same time. 17. Don't have to clean up fur afterwards. [B][COLOR="Red"]=======[/COLOR][/B] A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house, and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner. He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh, and said, "Mom, I have something to tell you: I'm gay." His mother made no reply or gave any response, and the guy was about to repeat it to make sure she'd heard him, when she turned away from the pot she was stirring and said calmly, "You're gay -- doesn't that mean you put other men's penises in your mouth?" The guy said nervously, "Uh, yeah, Mom, that's right." His mother went back to stirring the pot, then suddenly whirled around, whacked him over the head with her spoon and said, "Don't you EVER complain about my cooking again!!!" [/QUOTE]
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