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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063415357" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Really Kinky Experience</span></strong></p><p></p><p>So this guy goes out looking for the skankiest, sleaziest whore he can find, because he wants a REALLY kinky experience. So he finds one and takes her up to a cheap motel room.</p><p>He gets down between her legs to go down on her and to his delight, there is a septic boil between her pussy and her asshole. He starts sucking the puss out of it.</p><p>After about 10 minutes she exclaims: "I have to piss."</p><p>"It's okay," he answers, "piss on me." So she does, and he drinks it, letting some dribble down his chin.</p><p>A little later she says "Sorry, but I have diarrhea -- I really have to go."</p><p>"It's okay," he answers, "do it on me." So she does, and he lets it go all over his mouth and face, and smears it all over himself, and swallows some of it.</p><p>So he's REALLY into it, licking the shit and piss and pus off her pussy and ass, when he glances up and notices she's picking her nose. He jumps up and shouts:</p><p>"What are you trying to DO, bitch?! Gross me out?!"</p><p></p><p>You know how your Mommy used to kiss you good night?</p><p>Think about it . . . she might have just finished giving Daddy a blow job . . .</p><p>Yo' mama's so fat that after I fucked her I rolled over twice and I was still on the bitch.</p><p>A woman is on the witness stand testifying:</p><p>"I was walking down the sidewalk, when he grabbed me, dragged me into an alley, ripped off my dress, pulled down my panties, and bent me over a garbage can... I...I don't even remember what happened next..."</p><p>The judge says (jerking off motion), "Make something up! Make something up!"</p><p></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Roommates</span></strong></p><p></p><p>These three teenage girls were roommates. One Friday night</p><p>right after the semester started they all had all gone out</p><p>on dates, and by chance all came home at about the same</p><p>time.</p><p></p><p>The first one came in and said with a smug look on her</p><p>face, "You know you've been on a good date when you come</p><p>home with your hair all messed up."</p><p></p><p>The second one laughed at her and said, "No, no, that's</p><p>nothing! You know you've been on a good date when you come</p><p>home with your makeup all smeared."</p><p></p><p>The third one sat quiet with a blank stare on her face and</p><p>didn't say a thing for a few minutes. Then she reached</p><p>under her skirt, removed her panties and threw them against</p><p>the wall, where they stuck with a loud noise.</p><p></p><p>She said, "Now THAT'S a good date!!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">*~»§«~* *~»§«~*~»</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself.</p><p>Approaching the friend, he comments, "You look terrible.</p><p>What's the problem?"</p><p>"My mother died in June," he said, "and left me $10,000."</p><p>"Gee, that's tough," he replied.</p><p>"Then in July," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me</p><p>$50,000."</p><p>"Wow. Two parents gone in two months.</p><p>No wonder you're depressed."</p><p>"And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000."</p><p>"Three close family members lost in three months??? How sad!!!"</p><p>"Then this month,..." continued, the friend, "Nothing! Not a fucking</p><p>dime!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063415357, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Really Kinky Experience[/COLOR][/B] So this guy goes out looking for the skankiest, sleaziest whore he can find, because he wants a REALLY kinky experience. So he finds one and takes her up to a cheap motel room. He gets down between her legs to go down on her and to his delight, there is a septic boil between her pussy and her asshole. He starts sucking the puss out of it. After about 10 minutes she exclaims: "I have to piss." "It's okay," he answers, "piss on me." So she does, and he drinks it, letting some dribble down his chin. A little later she says "Sorry, but I have diarrhea -- I really have to go." "It's okay," he answers, "do it on me." So she does, and he lets it go all over his mouth and face, and smears it all over himself, and swallows some of it. So he's REALLY into it, licking the shit and piss and pus off her pussy and ass, when he glances up and notices she's picking her nose. He jumps up and shouts: "What are you trying to DO, bitch?! Gross me out?!" You know how your Mommy used to kiss you good night? Think about it . . . she might have just finished giving Daddy a blow job . . . Yo' mama's so fat that after I fucked her I rolled over twice and I was still on the bitch. A woman is on the witness stand testifying: "I was walking down the sidewalk, when he grabbed me, dragged me into an alley, ripped off my dress, pulled down my panties, and bent me over a garbage can... I...I don't even remember what happened next..." The judge says (jerking off motion), "Make something up! Make something up!" [B][COLOR="Teal"]Roommates[/COLOR][/B] These three teenage girls were roommates. One Friday night right after the semester started they all had all gone out on dates, and by chance all came home at about the same time. The first one came in and said with a smug look on her face, "You know you've been on a good date when you come home with your hair all messed up." The second one laughed at her and said, "No, no, that's nothing! You know you've been on a good date when you come home with your makeup all smeared." The third one sat quiet with a blank stare on her face and didn't say a thing for a few minutes. Then she reached under her skirt, removed her panties and threw them against the wall, where they stuck with a loud noise. She said, "Now THAT'S a good date!!" [B][COLOR="Red"]*~»§«~* *~»§«~*~»[/COLOR][/B] A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend, he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?" "My mother died in June," he said, "and left me $10,000." "Gee, that's tough," he replied. "Then in July," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $50,000." "Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed." "And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000." "Three close family members lost in three months??? How sad!!!" "Then this month,..." continued, the friend, "Nothing! Not a fucking dime!! [/QUOTE]
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