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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063413060" data-attributes="member: 14320">How To Keep A Woman Happy...Oh what a man must go through.............How to make a woman happy?It's not difficult. To make a woman happy, a man only needs to be:1. a friend2. a companion3. a lover4. a brother5. a father6. a master7. a chef8. an electrician9. a carpenter10. a plumber11. a mechanic12. a decorator13. a stylist14. a sexologist15. a gynecologist16. a psychologist17. a pest exterminator18. a psychiatrist19. a healer20. a good listener21. an organizer22. a good father23. very clean24. sympathetic25. athletic26. warm27. attentive28. gallant29. intelligent30. funny31. creative32. tender33. strong34. understanding35. tolerant36. prudent37. ambitious38. capable39. courageous40. determined41. true42. dependable43. passionateWITHOUT FORGETTING TO:44. give her compliments regularly45. love shopping46. be honest (white lies okay)47. be very rich48. not stress her out49. not look at other girls50, keep the heat upAND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goesIT IS VERY IMPORTANT:54. to never forget:* birthdays* anniversaries* arrangements she makes1. Feed him2. Fuck him3. and Shut the fuck up. THE DO'S AND DON'T'S OF JERKING OFF!Do jerk off as much as you like. Don't worry you won't go blind fromjerking off unless you shoot sperm in your eye.Do try to put yourself in an area where you won't be caught.Do have a place to shoot your load already set up.Do hide your spankerchief so no one can find it.Do jerk off in the shower, as this will hide any and all evidence ofyour perverted behavior.Do drink cranberry juice as often as you can. This builds up your spermcount incredibly!Do not get sperm on yourself.Do not shoot your load on a thick rug and then try to clean it up withtoilet paper.Do not hold your load in as long as you can in hopes that you'll shootit across the room. This can cause irreversible damage to your johnson.Do not flex your legs too hard before you blow your load or you'll get acramp and ruin the moment.Do not use your porn magazines as your spankerchief. That is future jerkoff material and if you spunk in it, you won't be able to use it again!Do not ever jerk off while taking a shit. That is fucking disgusting!Do not attempt to stick your finger in your ass while jerking off. Thatwould make you gay. (Not that there's anything wrong with that)Do not use Icy Hot for lubrication!Do not, under any circumstances, try to shoot your load into your ownmouth! (unless you're gay then it's ok)Do not participate in any group jerk off sessions or any circle jerkevents. If you do, don't get anyone else's sperm on you.gggTOP 10 OLD FOLKS' PARTY GAMES1. Sag, You're It!2. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy3. 20 Questions Shouted into your Good Ear4. Kick the Bucket.5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse Says Bend Over6. Doc, Doc Goose7. Simon Says Something Incoherent8. Hide and Go Pee9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta10. Musical ReclinersgggQ: What did the tampon say to the other tampon in school?A: I'll see you next period."It's my code," says a mailman named Drew,"To unzip, then deliver a screw.If virgins, when nervous,Resist postal service,I explain that the male must get through."</blockquote>

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