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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063410361" data-attributes="member: 14320">Bad Taste HumorThis woman goes into a funeral home to make arrangements for her husband's funeral. She tells the director that she wants her husband to be buried in a dark blue suit.He asks, "Wouldn't it just be easier to bury him in the black suit that he's wearing?"But she insists that it must be a blue suit and gives him a blank check to buy one.When she comes back for the funeral, she sees her husband in the coffin and he is wearing a beautiful blue suit. She tells the funeral director how much she loves the suit and asks how much it cost.He says, "Actually, it didn't cost anything. The funniest thing happened. As soon as you left, another corpse was brought in, this one wearing a blue suit. I noticed that they were about the same size, and asked the other widow if she would mind if her husband were buried in a black suit. She said that was fine with her. So... I switched the heads"@@@Two cannibals, wandering around in the desert for days without food, hungry and desolate, all of a sudden, to their delight, they stumble upon a dead human carcass, pristine from any scavenger, so the two cannibals sink their teeth into the dead human flesh, tearing it apart, one starting from the head and one from the toes.After a few minutes of eating, the guy at the head yells to the cannibal at the bottom, "hey, how is it going down there?"The cannibal at the bottom says "this is great, I'm having a ball.The guy at the top says slow down and enjoy it, you're eating too damn fast."A guy from the deep south comes to New York and he's amazed by the indoor plumbing. He's so intrigued by the way the toilets work that he goes to the Sewage Disposal Plant to check it out.One of the inspectors shows him to the conveyor belt that carries all the bowel movements. As the piles of shit parade by them, the inspector says, "You can tell by inspection who the assorted feces belong to. See that one? I'm sure it's the turd of a Mexican. See the pieces of taco shell, and the tomato seeds? And this next one is obviously the turd of a Chinaman or a Jap, see the fish eyes and the rice in it? And this next one is surely from a gay man."The hick says, "How can you tell?"The inspector says, "It's dented on one end." Crude Sex JokesQ. What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes?A. Goes-in-tight!Q. How do you know when you are getting old?A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.Q. Why don't little girls fart?A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.Q. Why do women stop bleeding when entering the menopause ?A. Because they need all the blood for their varicose veins !Q. What do Disney World & Viagra have in common?A. They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride.Q. What's the definition of trust?A. Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob.Q. Why is it called a Wonder Bra?A. When she takes it off, you wonder where her tits went.Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay?A. They don't have time.Q. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?A. They don't stop for directions.Q. Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in?A. The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!Q. How do you know when your wife is really dead?A. Your sex life is the same but your washing pile gets bigger.Q. How do you make five pounds of fat look good?A. Give it a nipple.Q. What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?A. A cherry float.Q. What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?A. They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.Q. How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?A. When his hand caught on fire.Q. What did Adam say to Eve?A. Stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets!Q. Why don't witches wear panties when flying on their broomsticks?A. Better traction.Q. What does parsley and pubic hair have in common?A. Push it aside and keep on eating...Q. What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?A. $3.99 a minute.Q. Why do women prefer old gynecologists?A. Their shaky hands!Q. What is better than a cold Bud?A. A warm bush.Q. What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?A. Slow down and use some lubricant.Q. Why are women like Kentucky Fried Chicken?A. After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.</blockquote>

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