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JeSt fOr LaUgHs...
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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063362950" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: DarkGreen">Christmas Song</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Dildoes and corsets and Chainmail Bikinis</p><p>Black Leather cages you lock on your weenies</p><p>Fetish and fashion and pierced nipple rings</p><p>These are a few of my favorite things ...</p><p></p><p>When the lash bites</p><p>When the crop stings</p><p>When it hits the Spot</p><p>I simply remember my favorite things</p><p>And it makes me feel ... so hot!!</p><p></p><p>Wrist cuffs and collars and straps of black leather</p><p>Chrome chains and Padlocks to hold them together</p><p>Tease whips and gags sort the girls from the boys</p><p>These are a few of my favorite toys ...</p><p></p><p>Nip Clips and Clit clips and Ball gags and Blindfolds</p><p>Dildoes and butt plugs to stop up your assholes</p><p>Enema pipes and some new "KY" gel</p><p>All delivered in brown paper, so the neighbors can't tell ...</p><p></p><p>Bottle green panties like the girls wore in school</p><p>A brief French maids outfit to make your mouth drool</p><p>Black halter tops and a PVC skirt</p><p>And a long leather whip ... Oh yes, that will hurt!!</p><p></p><p>Floggers and paddles and crops of black leather</p><p>Rubber and latex are fun in all weather</p><p>Canes of rattan that deliver a sting</p><p>All these and more are my favorite things!!!</p><p></p><p>When the lash bites</p><p>When the crop stings</p><p>When it hits the Spot</p><p>I simply remember my favorite things</p><p>And it makes me feel ... so hot!! </p><p></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: DarkGreen">Letters To Santa</span></strong></p><p></p><p>*Dear Santa, I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy</p><p>all yeer.</p><p>Yer Frend, BiLLy</p><p></p><p>Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care.</p><p>How about I send you a fricken book so you can learn to read and write?</p><p>I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!</p><p>Santa</p><p></p><p>*Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask</p><p>for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!</p><p>Love, Sarah</p><p></p><p>Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?</p><p>Santa</p><p></p><p>*Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like</p><p>for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.</p><p>Love, Teddy</p><p></p><p>Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door</p><p>in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to</p><p>your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that</p><p>dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead.</p><p>Santa</p><p></p><p>*Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a</p><p>dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.</p><p>Love, Francis</p><p></p><p>Dear Francis, Who names their kid "Francis"nowadays? I bet you're gay.</p><p>Santa</p><p></p><p>*Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left</p><p>carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.</p><p>Love, Susan</p><p></p><p>Dear Susan, Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my</p><p>face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a</p><p>bottle of scotch.</p><p>Santa</p><p></p><p>*Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy</p><p>making toys?</p><p>Your friend, Thomas</p><p></p><p>Dear Thomas, All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas,</p><p>where spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by</p><p>drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses</p><p>while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.</p><p>Santa</p><p></p><p>*Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when</p><p>we're awake, like in the song?</p><p>Love, Jessica</p><p></p><p>Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you</p><p>do. I'm skipping your house.</p><p>Santa</p><p></p><p>*Dear Santa, I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please</p><p>PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?</p><p>Timmy</p><p></p><p>Timmy, That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap</p><p>doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.</p><p>Santa</p><p></p><p>*Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into</p><p>our home?</p><p>Love, Marky</p><p></p><p>Mark, First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting</p><p>your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live</p><p>in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like</p><p>all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.</p><p>Sweet Dreams, Santa</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063362950, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="DarkGreen"]Christmas Song[/COLOR][/B] Dildoes and corsets and Chainmail Bikinis Black Leather cages you lock on your weenies Fetish and fashion and pierced nipple rings These are a few of my favorite things ... When the lash bites When the crop stings When it hits the Spot I simply remember my favorite things And it makes me feel ... so hot!! Wrist cuffs and collars and straps of black leather Chrome chains and Padlocks to hold them together Tease whips and gags sort the girls from the boys These are a few of my favorite toys ... Nip Clips and Clit clips and Ball gags and Blindfolds Dildoes and butt plugs to stop up your assholes Enema pipes and some new "KY" gel All delivered in brown paper, so the neighbors can't tell ... Bottle green panties like the girls wore in school A brief French maids outfit to make your mouth drool Black halter tops and a PVC skirt And a long leather whip ... Oh yes, that will hurt!! Floggers and paddles and crops of black leather Rubber and latex are fun in all weather Canes of rattan that deliver a sting All these and more are my favorite things!!! When the lash bites When the crop stings When it hits the Spot I simply remember my favorite things And it makes me feel ... so hot!! [B][COLOR="DarkGreen"]Letters To Santa[/COLOR][/B] *Dear Santa, I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a fricken book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa *Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa *Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Santa *Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, Francis Dear Francis, Who names their kid "Francis"nowadays? I bet you're gay. Santa *Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan Dear Susan, Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of scotch. Santa *Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas Dear Thomas, All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know. Santa *Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house. Santa *Dear Santa, I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one? Timmy Timmy, That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again. Santa *Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? Love, Marky Mark, First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams, Santa [/QUOTE]
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