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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063362374" data-attributes="member: 14320"> Why Santa Can't Possibly Be A Mana. Men can't pack a bagb. Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.c. Men would feel their masculinity is threatened... having to be seenwith all those elvesd. Men don't answer their maile. Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even injust as anything remotely resembling a "bowl full of jelly"f. Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing themg. Having to do the Ho-Ho-Ho thing would seriously inhibit theirability to pick up womenh. Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.Roses are Redish, Violets are Bluesh.If it wasn't for Christmas, we'd all be Jewish.Why did Frosty the Snowman pull his pants down?He was waiting for the snow blower!Top 10 Signs Santa Doesn't Like Your Kid10. Kid's letter to north pole comes back stamped, "Dream on, Chester!"9. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes.8. Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping andhandling.7. By the time he gets to your house, all he has left are styrofoampeanuts.6. Christmas day, your kid wakes up with a Reindeer head in his bed.5. Instead of "Naughty" or "Nice", Santa has him on the dork list.4. Sends him off on one of them Carnival Cruises with Kathie Lee.3. First words when kid gets on his lap are, "Touch my beardand I'll put the hurt on you."2. Labels on all your kid's toys read "Straight from Craptown."1. Four words: "Off my lap, Tubby!"</blockquote>

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