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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063349521" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p>A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon. That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst.</p><p></p><p>Q. How do you piss off Winnie The Pooh?</p><p>A. By sticking your finger in his honey.</p><p></p><p>Q. What do you call kinky sex with chocolate?</p><p>A. S&M&M.</p><p></p><p>Q. What is the biggest problem for an atheist?</p><p>A. No one to talk to during orgasm.</p><p></p><p>Q. Did you hear about the 150 lb. man who had 75 lb. testicles?</p><p>A. He was half nuts!!!</p><p></p><p>Q. What do you call a blonde grabbing at air?</p><p>A. Collecting her thoughts</p><p></p><p>Q. What do women and spaghetti have in common?</p><p>A. They both squirm when you eat them.</p><p></p><p>Q. What's 69 and 69?</p><p>A. Dinner for four.</p><p></p><p>Q. What's worse than being raped by Jack the Ripper?</p><p>A. Being fingered by Captain Hook.</p><p></p><p>Q. What's the difference between Like and Love?</p><p>A. Spit and Swallow.</p><p></p><p>Q. Why do female paratroopers wear jockstraps?</p><p>A. So they don't whistle on the way down.</p><p></p><p>Q. How can you tell a macho woman?</p><p>A. She rolls her own tampons.</p><p></p><p>Q. How do you recycle a used tampon?</p><p>A. As a tea-bag for vampires.</p><p></p><p>Q. What do you do in case of fallout?</p><p>A. Put it back in and take shorter strokes</p><p></p><p>Q. What's better than a rose on your piano?</p><p>A. Tulips on your organ</p><p></p><p>Q. What are the three greatest lies?</p><p>A. a) the check is in the mail b) small is beautiful c) I won't come in your mouth</p><p></p><p>Q. How can you tell if your girlfriend's frigid?</p><p>A. When you open her legs the lights go on</p><p></p><p>Q. What kind of bees give milk?</p><p>A. Boo bees.</p><p></p><p>Q. Hear about the bargain hunter who got his vasectomy at Sears?</p><p>A. Every time he gets a hard-on, the garage door goes up.</p><p></p><p>Q. What's hard and straight going in, soft and sticky coming out?</p><p>A. Chewing gum.</p><p></p><p>Q. What is the definition of wicker box?</p><p>A. It's what Elmer Fudd wants to do to Madonna.</p><p></p><p>Q. What is the area between the vagina and the anus called?</p><p>A. A chin rest.</p><p></p><p>Q. What do you call a female midget who's nice and gives head?</p><p>A. Short, sweet, and to the point!</p><p></p><p>Q. What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common?</p><p>A. The older they get the easier they are to pick up.</p><p></p><p>Q. What do you get when you cross a vibrator with an anteater?</p><p>A. An armadildo.</p><p></p><p>Q. What do Lifesavers do that a man can't?</p><p>A. Come in eight flavors.</p><p></p><p>Q. Do you know why it's called sex?</p><p>A. Because it's easier to spell than... "Uhhhhh..oooohh...Ahhhhhh....AIIEEEEEEE!!!"</p><p></p><p>Q. What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction?</p><p>A. A tea bag.</p><p></p><p>Q. If you are having sex with two women and one more woman walks in, what do you have?</p><p>A. Divorce proceedings, most likely.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063349521, member: 14320"] A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon. That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst. Q. How do you piss off Winnie The Pooh? A. By sticking your finger in his honey. Q. What do you call kinky sex with chocolate? A. S&M&M. Q. What is the biggest problem for an atheist? A. No one to talk to during orgasm. Q. Did you hear about the 150 lb. man who had 75 lb. testicles? A. He was half nuts!!! Q. What do you call a blonde grabbing at air? A. Collecting her thoughts Q. What do women and spaghetti have in common? A. They both squirm when you eat them. Q. What's 69 and 69? A. Dinner for four. Q. What's worse than being raped by Jack the Ripper? A. Being fingered by Captain Hook. Q. What's the difference between Like and Love? A. Spit and Swallow. Q. Why do female paratroopers wear jockstraps? A. So they don't whistle on the way down. Q. How can you tell a macho woman? A. She rolls her own tampons. Q. How do you recycle a used tampon? A. As a tea-bag for vampires. Q. What do you do in case of fallout? A. Put it back in and take shorter strokes Q. What's better than a rose on your piano? A. Tulips on your organ Q. What are the three greatest lies? A. a) the check is in the mail b) small is beautiful c) I won't come in your mouth Q. How can you tell if your girlfriend's frigid? A. When you open her legs the lights go on Q. What kind of bees give milk? A. Boo bees. Q. Hear about the bargain hunter who got his vasectomy at Sears? A. Every time he gets a hard-on, the garage door goes up. Q. What's hard and straight going in, soft and sticky coming out? A. Chewing gum. Q. What is the definition of wicker box? A. It's what Elmer Fudd wants to do to Madonna. Q. What is the area between the vagina and the anus called? A. A chin rest. Q. What do you call a female midget who's nice and gives head? A. Short, sweet, and to the point! Q. What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common? A. The older they get the easier they are to pick up. Q. What do you get when you cross a vibrator with an anteater? A. An armadildo. Q. What do Lifesavers do that a man can't? A. Come in eight flavors. Q. Do you know why it's called sex? A. Because it's easier to spell than... "Uhhhhh..oooohh...Ahhhhhh....AIIEEEEEEE!!!" Q. What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction? A. A tea bag. Q. If you are having sex with two women and one more woman walks in, what do you have? A. Divorce proceedings, most likely. [/QUOTE]
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