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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063344237" data-attributes="member: 14320">ANGER MANAGEMENTWhen you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take itout on someone, don't take it out on someone you know -- take it out onsomeone you don't know.I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten tomake. I found the number and dialed it.A man answered, saying, "Hello."I politely said, "Could I please speak with Robin Carter?"Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me.I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I realized I had called thewrong number.I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had accidentallytransposed the last two digits of her phone number.After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" andhung up.I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in mydesk drawer.Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'dcall him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' callingwould have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is JohnSmith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiarwith the Caller ID program?"He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Someguy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patientlywaited for..I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for that spot.The idiot ignored me.I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window so, I wrote down his number.A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had hisnumber on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too.I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?""Yes, it is.""Can you tell me where I can see it?""Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car'sparked right out in front.""What's your name?" I asked."My name is Don Hansen," he said."When's a good time to catch you, Don?""I'm home every evening after five.""Listen, Don, can I tell you something?""Yes?""Don, you're an asshole."Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it usedto be.So, I came up with an idea.I called Asshole #1."Hello.""You're an asshole!"(But I didn't hang up.)"Are you still there?" he asked."Yeah," I said."Stop calling me," he screamed."Make me," I said."Who are you?" he asked."My name is Don Hansen..""Yeah? Where do you live?""Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my blackBeamer parked in front."He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start sayingyour prayers."I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."Then I called Asshole #2."Hello?" he said."Hello, asshole," I said.He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are...!""You'll what?" I said."I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gaylover.Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34thStreet.I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street.When I got there, I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other infront of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and the channel 13 news crew.NOW, I feel better - This is Anger Management at its very best.</blockquote>

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