Originally posted by ROADRAGE@Apr 8 2004, 01:56 AM
heres the scenario:
i had a gf but this is 4 years plus ago...we went out a lot...we were happy rarely had fights and so on, the happy couple story buit then 1 day i found out that she was going out with another guy...so then the relationship ended
i moved on, was a bit dissapointed with her and in general females, so stopped goin out for 2 years till i met this girl we got along quite well but i didnt develop feelings for her she popped the question first so i tot i'd go along for the ride and stop being a hermit. i know i was wrong here but i wanted to forget her..weve been cohabting for round 1 years plus already and i just started to warm up to her
yesterday, i saw her on icq after years of not talking to her we started chatting and one thing led to another..here she asked me whether i still had feelings for her.....and she felt bad about last time and regretted it. The proble here mis i havent forgotten about her and i dont know what to do..
nyways u get what i mean....tell me what to do.
Ahhh....life. Such an interesting drama story; what with all the plot twists and comeback routines, don't you think so? :lol:
Anyway, I can't tell you what to do man, that's up to you. However, I can tell you how to think when you're deciding on what to do.... :D , so that's what i'll try to do.
Like Devil mentioned, the sum of the matter is that you did not move on, and you never really recovered from what you went through. That's normal, as hurts are not easily healed, however, getting into a relationship just to try to forget the hurt is like shooting yourself in the head because the foot hurt too much. :lol: Just joking though, but it is true. Since relationships are a serious matter of mutual feelings between 2 people, both sides deserve the best that each other can give. However, sometimes getting someone else is the best method of forgetting someone. But the problem here is that it only relieves the pain/hurt temporary. The only way to relieve the pain/hurt permamently is to accept all that's happened, and move on, close the chapter on what's happened and start anew.
However, what's done is done. Right now, you need to close the chapter on her. What's happened has happened. Time to move on. I would seriously advise you to break contact with her for a 'lil, and give some time to yourself to close up and move on. Realise that you can't be hanging on to the past and that YOU deserve better. What's the point of hurting yourself with the past if you did nothing wrong? Sometimes things just happen, just got to accept it and move on. Cry if you must, that's life. Just remember that you have to put it behind you and move on.
For until you move on, you will not be able to think straight and logically. And on another note, by not being able to think straight and logically, you will not be fair on your current partner. Regardless of whatever's happened, you have to take responsibility of your current relationship with your partner. However, how you choose to go about after this is up to you.
For ultimately, it all depends on where you want to head. However, please remember this: ONLY DECIDE ON WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ONCE YOU ARE ABLE TO THINK STRAIGHT AND LOGICALLY. The past will always seem sweeter than current because memories are biased to remember only the parts we want to remember. You will not appreciate what you have currently if you're not able to think straight and logically.
Once you have deem yourself well enough to concentrate on where to go from now, then decide on what you think you want to do. Evaluate both possibilities fairly and with respect to both persons. However, please remember one thing, as humans, we will always be biased to the past. Be respectful and analyse your current partner with respect and honesty. You might just be surprised.
For at the end of the day, all your ex can offer is just a glimmer. You see that glimmer as something concrete because you have not moved on. Now's the time to move on first, before you can decide fairly on what to do next.
Anyway, if mishandled, I could almost predict what's going to happen in the end. Damn, I've been watching too many chinese dramas. Waitaminute, I don't watch any.....
I think I'm going mad. heh. :lol: Good luck and excuse my babbling. Didn't get enough sleep.
Good luck man!!
disclaimer : I don't claim to be 100% correct. What I've said is only based on my analysis and my limited knowledge and experience.
