Universal Truths

invisibleghost

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1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.

5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.

6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.

7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.

10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.

12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.

14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.

18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.

19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!

22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

24) You never ever run out of salt.

25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.

26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.

28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard

32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.

33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

34) Bricks are horrible to carry.

35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
 
invisibleghost said:
1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
my square PJ sandwich taste as good

2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
coz they can't get my phone number

3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
no...is when someone drunk staring at it and say "ooooo so big" when its only 5.5"

4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
it is ok...vege cracker

5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.
i was born 1984,spent 5yrs in 80s,no i dun think so

6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
this is true,in fact,doing anything while ur drunk is horrible,u can't shoot properly,can't aim properly..bla bla bla

7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
the fact of a guy holding a knife does feel very manly [hint: rambo]

8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
its not agst the law,esp in malaysia,nothing is illegal until u get caught

10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
there is now

11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
i alwayz look at the banana and wonder why wasn't mine as big

12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
its impossible to describe the smell of anything...for example,wet dog,wet fish,rubbish...etc

13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
aka tempting with death [that kinda feel]

14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
apa ni?

15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
coz the horse might lick u to death or give a kick of ur life

16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
hell true...as though they never see a dog before

17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
no...is when someone pulled down ur pants and see ur cute lil "pint-to-toilet"

18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
looks like...but baby monkeys are cute

19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
ppl with crutches are everywhere...thts y

20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
i know i did...:embaressed_smile:

21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
old men too

22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
u could try...bollywood style

23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
yes...u might not know when its gona collapsed and get caved in

24) You never ever run out of salt.
sea water is 70% of earth,besides,u sweat too

25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
coz thats the only thing they can crave for before the existance of viagra

26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
y?coz they look sissy?its stereotyping..tahts called "animal lover"

27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
its more panic to stuck ur foreskin on ur zipper

28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
checked on google or wiki before?i never..will tonite

29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
i'll break the swans neck if it does that to me

30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
no..is when ur head bang the edge of a hanging wall cabinet

31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
yes...coz its not their car

32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
uh...so i was a dad even before i pop my cherry?i did that when i was like...10?

33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
steal their nose?or pick their nose?

34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
try carrying 4 at a time from the back of ur house to front,like...10 trips

35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
yea..either burnt, soft or crushed into chip dust,thanx to irresponsible ppl when shopping for groceries

thasts,universal truth
can i add some more?
like
36.sorry is the easiest word to say
37.kei tsu is the legend drift king
38.i'm childish and lame
 
1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
my square PJ sandwich taste as good

2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
coz they can't get my phone number

3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
no...is when someone drunk staring at it and say "ooooo so big" when its only 5.5"

4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
it is ok...vege cracker

5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.
i was born 1984,spent 5yrs in 80s,no i dun think so

6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
this is true,in fact,doing anything while ur drunk is horrible,u can't shoot properly,can't aim properly..bla bla bla

7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
the fact of a guy holding a knife does feel very manly [hint: rambo]

8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
its not agst the law,esp in malaysia,nothing is illegal until u get caught

10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
there is now

11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
i alwayz look at the banana and wonder why wasn't mine as big

12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
its impossible to describe the smell of anything...for example,wet dog,wet fish,rubbish...etc

13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
aka tempting with death [that kinda feel]

14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
apa ni?

15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
coz the horse might lick u to death or give a kick of ur life

16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
hell true...as though they never see a dog before

17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
no...is when someone pulled down ur pants and see ur cute lil "pint-to-toilet"

18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
looks like...but baby monkeys are cute

19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
ppl with crutches are everywhere...thts y

20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
i know i did...

21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
old men too

22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
u could try...bollywood style

23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
yes...u might not know when its gona collapsed and get caved in

24) You never ever run out of salt.
sea water is 70% of earth,besides,u sweat too

25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
coz thats the only thing they can crave for before the existance of viagra

26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
y?coz they look sissy?its stereotyping..tahts called "animal lover"

27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
its more panic to stuck ur foreskin on ur zipper

28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
checked on google or wiki before?i never..will tonite

29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
i'll break the swans neck if it does that to me

30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
no..is when ur head bang the edge of a hanging wall cabinet

31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
yes...coz its not their car

32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
uh...so i was a dad even before i pop my cherry?i did that when i was like...10?

33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
steal their nose?or pick their nose?

34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
try carrying 4 at a time from the back of ur house to front,like...10 trips

35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
yea..either burnt, soft or crushed into chip dust,thanx to irresponsible ppl when shopping for groceries

36.sorry is the easiest word to say
37.kei tsu is the legend drift king
38.i'm childish and lame


done as per saimon's wish
 
another universal truth :

39. It's hard for a woman to pee standing like a man.
 
40. Someone else's wife always seems hotter than yours.
41. You see idiot drivers everyday, and it ain't you.


1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
Btw, Stottie sandwiches are round, and it tastes a lot better...hehehe.. IMO.
 
it just wont work out rite la...
and it's like so damn troublesome to squat down ~
*dont mind me, i'm just bullshitting....:mouth_closed:

PocketRocket said:
they invented those scoops so women can pee standing wat.... =P
 
infernaL said:
and for a moment i thought which taiwan gay actor kei tsu was . lol
WAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
kei tsu...taiwan gay actor?
i only know he kelefeh in tokyo drift saying "Countersteer ga osoi da yo naa?"
hahahha
come lets add on to the universal truth!
and yes.they hv the scoop thingy liao..
coz toilet seats are dirty

gals alwayz say guys cannot aim...but...why are gal's toilet seat dirty then?
*mysterious*
 
:hmmmm: now u make me wonder, wat r u doing in gals' toilet huh!!!:vroam:

simonchangwaimun said:
gals alwayz say guys cannot aim...but...why are gal's toilet seat dirty then?
*mysterious*
 
42. When you continuously see something that's same, it's hard to convince yourself to believe that the same thing you see all the time is actually not the same thing that you see all the time.
 
invis and simon : i was thinking , who the heck was kei tsu - as in thinking taiwan or chinese artist/actor's name , before the senses knocked in . tiu kena conned lol
 
bikinigal said:
:hmmmm: now u make me wonder, wat r u doing in gals' toilet huh!!!:vroam:
so wat do YOU do in toilet,dearz?




























*CABUTZ kau kau*

infernal,bagus...kena con...its been long since i con ppl...only got ppl con me
 
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