88 Ways to know that your chinese
Message: 1. You look like you are 18.
2. You like to eat chicken feet.
3. You suck on fish heads and fish fins.
4. You have a Chinese knick-knack hanging on
your rear view mirror.
5. You sing Karaoke.
6. Your house is covered with tile.
7. Your kitchen is covered by a sticky film of
grease.
8. Your stove is covered with aluminium foil.
9. You leave the plastic covers on your remote
control.
10. You've never kissed your mom or dad.
11. You've never hugged your mom or dad.
12. Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500.
13. You wear contacts, to avoid wearing
your "coke
bottle glasses".
14. You've worn glasses since you were in fifth
grade.
15. Your hair sticks up when you wake up.
16. You'll haggle over something that is not
negotiable.
17. You love to use coupons.
18. You drive around looking for the cheapest
petrol.
19. You drive around for hours looking for the best
parking space.
20. You take showers at night.
21. You avoid the non-free snacks in hotel rooms.
22. You don't mind squeezing 20 people into one
motel room.
23. Most girls have more body hair than you, if you
are male.
24. You tap the table when someone pours tea for
you.
25. You say Aiya!" and "Wah!" frequently.
26. You don't want to wear your seatbelt because
it
is uncomfortable.
27. You love Las Vegas, slot machines, and
blackjack.
28. You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so
you can reuse the paper.
29. You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas,
when they are 50% off.
30. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen
table.
31. You spit bones and other food scraps on the
table. (Thats why you need the vinyl tablecloth).
32. You have stuff in the freezer since the
beginning of time.
33. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.
34. You have never used your dishwasher.
35. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at
all times.
36. You eat all meals in the kitchen.
37. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin
containers
38. You have a piano in your living room
39. You pick your teeth at the dinner table (but you
cover your mouth).
40. You twirl your pen around your fingers.
41. You hate to waste food.
42. You have Tupperware in your fridge with three
bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.
43. You don't own any real Tupperware - only a
cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine
tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
44. You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses.
45. You have a collection of miniature shampoo
bottles that you take every time you stay in a
hotel.
46. You carry a stash of your own food whenever
you travel (travel means any car ride longer than 15
minutes). These snacks are always dried and
include dried plums, mango, ginger, and squid.
47. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before
cooking it.
48. Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.
49. The dash board of your Honda is covered by
hundreds of small toys.
50. You don't use measuring cups.
51. You beat eggs with chopsticks.
52. You have a teacup with a cover on it.
53. You always look phone numbers up in the
phone book, since calling information costs 50
cents.
54. You only make long distance calls after 11pm.
55. If you are male, you clap at something funny
and if you are female, you giggle whilst placing a
hand
over your mouth.
56. You like Chinese films in their original
undubbed versions.
57. You love Chinese Martial Arts films.
58. You've learnt some form of martial arts.
59. Shaolin actually mean something to you.
60. You like congee with thousand year old eggs.
61. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs
still attached.
62. You never call your parents just to say hi.
63. If you don't live at home, when your parents
call,
they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight. .
64. When you're sick, your parents tell you not to
eat fried foods or baked goods due to yeet hay.
65. You know what yeet hay is.
66. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even
though you only 10 feet apart.
67. You use a face cloth.
68. You starve yourself before going to all you can
eat places.
69. You know someone who can get you a good
deal on jewellery or electronics.
70. You save your old coke-bottle glasses even
though you're never going to use them again.
71. You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen
it.
72. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-
thin.
73. You know what moon cakes are.
74. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy
100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the
bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.
75. Your parents know how to launch nasal
projectiles.
76. You iron your own shirts.
77. You play a musical instrument.
78. Even if you're totally full, if someone says
they're going to throw away the leftovers on the
table, you'll finish them.
79. You've eaten a red bean popsicle.
80. You bring oranges (or other produce) with you
is a gift when you visit people's homes.
81. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
82. You majored in something practical like
engineering, medicine or law.
83. You live with your parents and you are 30
years
old (and they prefer it that way). Or if you're
married and 30 years old, you live in the apartment
next door to your parents, or at least in the same
neighbourhood.
84. You don't tip more than 10% at a restaurant,
andif you do, you tip Chinese delivery guys/waiters
more.
85. You have acquired a taste for bitter melon.
86. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl,
but
don't eat the last piece of food on the table.
87. You know why there are 88 reasons.
88. You see the truth in this and then send it
There ya go!
Message: 1. You look like you are 18.
2. You like to eat chicken feet.
3. You suck on fish heads and fish fins.
4. You have a Chinese knick-knack hanging on
your rear view mirror.
5. You sing Karaoke.
6. Your house is covered with tile.
7. Your kitchen is covered by a sticky film of
grease.
8. Your stove is covered with aluminium foil.
9. You leave the plastic covers on your remote
control.
10. You've never kissed your mom or dad.
11. You've never hugged your mom or dad.
12. Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500.
13. You wear contacts, to avoid wearing
your "coke
bottle glasses".
14. You've worn glasses since you were in fifth
grade.
15. Your hair sticks up when you wake up.
16. You'll haggle over something that is not
negotiable.
17. You love to use coupons.
18. You drive around looking for the cheapest
petrol.
19. You drive around for hours looking for the best
parking space.
20. You take showers at night.
21. You avoid the non-free snacks in hotel rooms.
22. You don't mind squeezing 20 people into one
motel room.
23. Most girls have more body hair than you, if you
are male.
24. You tap the table when someone pours tea for
you.
25. You say Aiya!" and "Wah!" frequently.
26. You don't want to wear your seatbelt because
it
is uncomfortable.
27. You love Las Vegas, slot machines, and
blackjack.
28. You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so
you can reuse the paper.
29. You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas,
when they are 50% off.
30. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen
table.
31. You spit bones and other food scraps on the
table. (Thats why you need the vinyl tablecloth).
32. You have stuff in the freezer since the
beginning of time.
33. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.
34. You have never used your dishwasher.
35. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at
all times.
36. You eat all meals in the kitchen.
37. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin
containers
38. You have a piano in your living room
39. You pick your teeth at the dinner table (but you
cover your mouth).
40. You twirl your pen around your fingers.
41. You hate to waste food.
42. You have Tupperware in your fridge with three
bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.
43. You don't own any real Tupperware - only a
cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine
tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
44. You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses.
45. You have a collection of miniature shampoo
bottles that you take every time you stay in a
hotel.
46. You carry a stash of your own food whenever
you travel (travel means any car ride longer than 15
minutes). These snacks are always dried and
include dried plums, mango, ginger, and squid.
47. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before
cooking it.
48. Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.
49. The dash board of your Honda is covered by
hundreds of small toys.
50. You don't use measuring cups.
51. You beat eggs with chopsticks.
52. You have a teacup with a cover on it.
53. You always look phone numbers up in the
phone book, since calling information costs 50
cents.
54. You only make long distance calls after 11pm.
55. If you are male, you clap at something funny
and if you are female, you giggle whilst placing a
hand
over your mouth.
56. You like Chinese films in their original
undubbed versions.
57. You love Chinese Martial Arts films.
58. You've learnt some form of martial arts.
59. Shaolin actually mean something to you.
60. You like congee with thousand year old eggs.
61. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs
still attached.
62. You never call your parents just to say hi.
63. If you don't live at home, when your parents
call,
they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight. .
64. When you're sick, your parents tell you not to
eat fried foods or baked goods due to yeet hay.
65. You know what yeet hay is.
66. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even
though you only 10 feet apart.
67. You use a face cloth.
68. You starve yourself before going to all you can
eat places.
69. You know someone who can get you a good
deal on jewellery or electronics.
70. You save your old coke-bottle glasses even
though you're never going to use them again.
71. You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen
it.
72. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-
thin.
73. You know what moon cakes are.
74. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy
100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the
bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.
75. Your parents know how to launch nasal
projectiles.
76. You iron your own shirts.
77. You play a musical instrument.
78. Even if you're totally full, if someone says
they're going to throw away the leftovers on the
table, you'll finish them.
79. You've eaten a red bean popsicle.
80. You bring oranges (or other produce) with you
is a gift when you visit people's homes.
81. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
82. You majored in something practical like
engineering, medicine or law.
83. You live with your parents and you are 30
years
old (and they prefer it that way). Or if you're
married and 30 years old, you live in the apartment
next door to your parents, or at least in the same
neighbourhood.
84. You don't tip more than 10% at a restaurant,
andif you do, you tip Chinese delivery guys/waiters
more.
85. You have acquired a taste for bitter melon.
86. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl,
but
don't eat the last piece of food on the table.
87. You know why there are 88 reasons.
88. You see the truth in this and then send it
There ya go!
